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Old 21st April 2014, 09:43 AM   #17
chosen
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,794
Re: 20 years Trapped

have you always lived in rough areas?
I have knows 4 vicars wives pretty well and they didn't seem to ever have the trouble that you have had, maybe due to the area they lived in, and to those of us who have had to pay large mortgages and household bills for most of our adult lives, a free home, usually of a good size, with many bills paid, would have been a godsend. Try and look at the advantages and blessings rather than the negatives.

I suppose if you are not happy in the marriage and resent so many things that a vicar and his wife are expected to do, then this use of parts of your home will seem hard. As I said before the local vicars wife where I live does nothing whatsoever for the church. She is a nurse and works shifts and never even comes to the church. She appears to give her husband no support at all which I think is sad. There must be a balance somewhere in the middle. Their quite large home is owned by the church, and one room only(they have 4 reception rooms)is used by the church 2 or 3 times a week for meetings. The church meets in the community centre so there is no church building as such.

MY best friend from school(who I am still in touch with) is married to a Baptist pastor(recently retired) and she seemed to cope fine and did work outside the home as well for much of their time in the churches they were at.

Now your children are getting older maybe try and do something for yourself. It doesn't have to be to make money(running a small buisiness legally in the UK is pretty complicated and there is a lot of paperwork involved with detailed earnings needing to be declared and tax forms filled in). Why not seek out a part time job, something that you enjoy? Maybe in a school if you like children? Or with adults who are outside the church?

Last edited by chosen; 21st April 2014 at 02:25 PM.
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