Thread: Baronness
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Old 20th August 2011, 04:17 PM   #30
1aokgal
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Baronness

Chamomile...

You always make astute observations and are concise to categorize the ongoing problems. You have a scientific mindset as you are so rational.
Your clear thinking and fairness is fresh air here, where religious extremism loses touch with truth, that all marriages aren't meant to survive.

I don't see this marriage as ever being a "regular folks" kind of marriage. Like you, I think if this guy has got enough juice left to go work free up the canyon, than he should work a shift at McDonalds', 7-11, or other employer that routinely hires senior workers. His "good old boy" outlook likes the the outdoors, while he works free to escape the house. He put no plan in place for his retirement years and changing marital beds cleaned him out before Baroness arrived on the scene. He can't be depended on to keep the lights paid now because, without her half income from the job B had, he can't keep the roof overhead.

He needed a woman like B, who asked few questions and accepted him when they hung out at the bars. He was a charming companion when lit! The fact is, he has isolated her and brow beats her now, because she is not emoloyed. He could get help for the ED but he doesn't care enough to do that and lives just for himself. B was willing to cook and wait on him and hold a job which brought half the income into the house before job loss. How handy was that! She was also quick to defend him if anyone questioned why she did these things.

Now he is verbally abusive when he pokes his head out from the TV. His personality is much in common with drinkers, with a narcissistic mean streak. A day in this hostile environment is not going to provide a usable errection or even some friendly affection. It is no wonder B wishes she were elsewhere. Personally, I wonder if he has personality changes consistent with possible early dementia. His moods are marose, changeable and irritable. She also reports he doesn't have a lot of recall about simple things.

A flow of side income from B (with her crafts) would help, but there needs to be some major income alterations in that household for these two to survive. If he folds from a one bedroom apartment to live on a puny social security check, I doubt they will survive anywhere. I think sex is not the important issue now, it is the need for both to find a dependable other income. As long as they do live together, it would be nice if he acknowledged her presence.

Baroness is a nice lady who may have chosen the wrong man at the wrong time in her life. They need a lot of intervention to survive the econemy and each other. I hope she knows we all want her happiness and pray for her.

Last edited by 1aokgal; 20th August 2011 at 04:29 PM.