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Old 16th October 2010, 05:52 AM   #12
1aokgal
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Re: How do I take the final step?

Dear Heather,

Congratulations you have just handed your husband over to the other woman, who will be waiting in the wings to gladly take him. You tossed him out like bad laundry. Big mistake, Heather. You let pride, hurt, and self pity blind you to the issues. There were problems in the marriage and those needed work. A man can seek comfort somewhere else with so much going on you probably lost touch with each other. Please stop telling your friends your business and do not play the victim in all this. A marriage is a partnership. You talk about the issues and don't extract revenge with the silly "6 months alone and I think it over." In 6 months he will have moved on and you will be one more divorced woman hanging out trying to find a man so you aren't lonely.

Sure did not sound to me that he was dying to jump into marriage with her! Looks like you decided you could not work on these problems. You say 6 months SPACE? You will get space while she moves right in with him. Her shoes will go right under the bed and her nightie will end up in his closet. Foolish girl! You have years of history with this man. Do you think a 6 months time you mentioned will "punish" him? You will get a huge surprise if that was the idea.

It sounds like with all those buckets of tears you care about him? Your pride more important than to realize some improved look and attitude on your end might get him 100% back into your arms?

He said, "Come visit." That is a man who regrets the lies and deception. I bet she does not look so good for the next wife on the long term. After the angry..after the tears..go put on a great outfit and go visit and bring a nightie with you. If you were a hottie with him years ago there might still be some fire there to revive. Sounds as if you folks had serious issues with illness and problems and that got in the way of the relationship between you.

It does not sound like he wants to go in another direction to me. It sounds like you not only helped him pack but you kicked him in the can as he went down the walkway. Go get him back before it is too late.

I think you will regret all that self pity and life is very long and lonely. What you have is likely far better than what is out there. It is not that easy to find a keeper and perhaps you should have kept the one you had. Maybe it is not too late to swallow some pride and invite him home for a home cooked meal and and some real affection.

Don't argue over what can't be changed (the past) ..talk about what you CAN change (the future.) If you look long and hard in the mirror you will see a woman who regrets she tossed her man out on his ear over a dalliance that you can forgive.

Ask God to remove your anger. Think about all the years he was a good man and a good husband. There might still be another 25 good years in there, don't you think?

Last edited by 1aokgal; 17th October 2010 at 12:19 AM.
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