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Old 5th November 2010, 09:00 AM   #14
chosen
Registered User
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,794
Re: How do I take the final step?

[QUOTE=Sal;57854]Goodness me! I can't believe the last posting. Your husband has had or is having an affair and is causing you hurt and pain. You can't be a doormat. He needs to respect you and if he can't then you need to move on and meet someone who loves you for who you are.[/QUOTE]

Nor me, it was quite amazingly hurtful.
This man has been cheating lying and deceiving for 6 years. He started the affair at a time when his wife was deeply suffering, and needed his support. Instead he cheated and ran to the first adulterous woman with no morals that he could find.
That is devastating.If he moves in with the other woman, then that is his decision, and his mistake,and shows that he isnt ready to work on the marriage. Why is it that so many people think that men cant possible manage alone for a few months without a woman?Its sad. God will never ever bless that relationship.He needs to do ALL that he can to make ammends and restore the trust,(if that is possible) and he can do that whether they are living together or not

Heather hope you are alright. It takes time to heal and recover from such betrayal, and to need some space isnt surprising. It will enable you to take stock, think and find out what you want to do. A 6 year affair isnt going to just go away and has enormous consequenses. You can never undo what he did. If he wants the marriage to continue then the option is there for him to win you back, and repent, and earn back the trust that has been shattered. It will be hard work but its up to him.At this point, he is still cheating and is in touch with this women daily. There is no sign of repentance or of his being prepared to stop this affair. While this is carrying on, the marriage cant be restored or repaired or worked on.

Many cannot continue in the marriage after such betrayal, a few do, we are all different. You need time to find out what you want to do.

Last edited by chosen; 5th November 2010 at 02:54 PM.
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