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Heather · 22nd May 2011, 05:14 PM

Hi,
Yes I am still seeing my counsellor, which is a bit of a lifeline at the moment. Like you say - a safe place to work through the emotions; not something I have ever really been good at doing. It is a measure of how I am changing that I am even able to admit to him how I am feeling and talk about it with him.
Have had my husband's mum and sister to stay this weekend which has been really good. We get on really well and I know they are finding this all a nightmare too. Obviously they have to support him and be there for him, but they are trapped in the middle because they love me too and don't want to lose me. They have met the OW - he took her to his sister's house one evening with very little warning... she said to me that it was a nightmare, having this strange woman in her house - thinking of what she had done and having to be pleasant to her for the sake of her brother.
When they had had left I got to thinking that really, in a way,he has everything he wanted now; he has his other woman, his new family 'do over'; he won't be burdened by me soon; his children are grown and he can do as he likes. I had been thinking that maybe one day he might look back and realise what he has lost. But actually, he won't because he will probably be quite content with the ways things have worked out!
Just me feeling bitter, I guess!
I think you are right - I think it is easier the less contact I have with him. Not that there is much now, but each time I see him I am unsettled. I know that after the divorce is over I will have no contact unless it is to do with the children... I think he thinks we will still be in touch... not going to happen... for the sake of my sanity!

22nd May 2011, 05:14 PM	#191
Heather Registered User Join Date: Jul 2010 Posts: 59	Re: How do I take the final step? Hi, Yes I am still seeing my counsellor, which is a bit of a lifeline at the moment. Like you say - a safe place to work through the emotions; not something I have ever really been good at doing. It is a measure of how I am changing that I am even able to admit to him how I am feeling and talk about it with him. Have had my husband's mum and sister to stay this weekend which has been really good. We get on really well and I know they are finding this all a nightmare too. Obviously they have to support him and be there for him, but they are trapped in the middle because they love me too and don't want to lose me. They have met the OW - he took her to his sister's house one evening with very little warning... she said to me that it was a nightmare, having this strange woman in her house - thinking of what she had done and having to be pleasant to her for the sake of her brother. When they had had left I got to thinking that really, in a way,he has everything he wanted now; he has his other woman, his new family 'do over'; he won't be burdened by me soon; his children are grown and he can do as he likes. I had been thinking that maybe one day he might look back and realise what he has lost. But actually, he won't because he will probably be quite content with the ways things have worked out! Just me feeling bitter, I guess! I think you are right - I think it is easier the less contact I have with him. Not that there is much now, but each time I see him I am unsettled. I know that after the divorce is over I will have no contact unless it is to do with the children... I think he thinks we will still be in touch... not going to happen... for the sake of my sanity!