View Single Post
Old 22nd December 2013, 03:17 PM   #9
Car111
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Re: Hoping to move forward

Quote:
Originally Posted by Roses View Post
Hi

It looks like you have been "waiting around" for him to come around for so long. Being a single Mum with three children must be really hard (as Ronnoco says).
Hi Roses, nice to meet you. We have been working on our marriage since February. We did some marriage counseling and then we were in limbo for 3 months. I don't really look at it as waiting around. I look at it as standing for my marriage, and I feel that standing is harder to do than just walking away. What I wanted was to fight for my marriage.

By standing I just continued to work on myself, and making myself happy and having fun with the children, all while giving him the space he needed. I figured it was just a phase, or a crisis he was going through and I wanted to be there for him. I did that up until the day he told me he was leaving. Then I did not fight him on his leaving, I told him that I was fine with his decision.

When I left I started to move on with my life without him and starting dealing with the lawyer. I am very cautious about letting him re-enter my life. I do believe that it is best to keep our family together and I still love him, so saving the marriage is the best option. We are cautiously entering into reconciliation. We are taking a slow and steady approach. First we had a discussion about how we would like to go about getting back together, and what needs and issues we have that need to be addressed. Then we agreed to do individual counseling to sort out some issues. Now, we are starting on our counselling together.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Roses View Post
You also allowed him to re-enter into your life after you were already dealing with your solicitor to divorce him. This may make him think that you are always available whatever he does or says?
I understand this. I am certainly not making it easy for him to just walk back into our marriage and home, we are slowly and steady working on things. If he ever does move back in it will be because he is certain and we won't just rush into it. If he ever comes back but then wants to leave again, it will be for good without a doubt. I have gone through a lot and I couldn't take him leaving one last time. If he left the door would be shut permanently.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Roses View Post
Staying put with him may be a safe choice for the time being but I am not sure what the long-term damage would be to you in case he changes his mind again?
I have the long term goal of saving my marriage. If it doesn't work, the funny thing is that I feel I will be fine either way. Either way I will move forward and life will go on. Right now I am just taking a blind leap of faith. Nothing in life is guaranteed. I will be fine with whatever happens.
  Reply With Quote