Thread: Help
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Old 6th April 2011, 02:22 PM   #7
Helen_uk
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,531
Re: Help

Hunnymunster .

You're not pathetic at all . What you've discovered may have happened some time ago but it's new for you and difficult to deal with.

Secretive behaviour in a relationship is never a good thing and to me blaming behaviours on being drunk is not an excuse.

I can fully understand how you're feeling at the moment and I think maybe you need sometime to think things through before confronting him.... Give yourself the time to make some plans for your own future .

It's a shock to discover the man you love is capable of lying and cheating and I know it also feels like it makes a mockery of your whole marriage. It takes a while for it all to sink in. It feels like a catch 22 situation and you can't see yourself surviving either way .

You can do it though , the decision comes when you know you can't put up with it any longer and the relief comes when you no longer have to.

I'm sorry to say it but this man won't change while he's allowed to get away with the things he's doing. Sounds to me like he is living 2 lives and doing his utmost to keep one of them secret .

You have to start to realize you deserve better than that , not easy when your self esteem has taken such a blow. Try not to feel guilty , nobody deserves to be lied to or cheated on. Blaming ourselves is common but at the end of the day he acted of his own free will and then lied about it . That isn't your fault.
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