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Old 9th July 2014, 11:59 PM   #30
chosen
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,794
Re: Am i sinning and how do i stop?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Raymond View Post
I think the husband in this case is in a different position than yours 1okgal.

If he is a christian and part of the fellowship then there is the possibility of him to look at the problem of witholding sex, as the scripture does teach that we should not defraud the other of sex.

Personally I think there are other problems that are coming into play as well, maybe from his childhood, but looking into why he is witholding sex could be the key to getting healed perhaps. One cannot force it I know, but being in that fellowship atmosphere could potentially provide answers to the problem. If he is wanting to follow God just knowing that his practice is unscriptural could have an effect.

We have a highly qualified psychiatrist in our fellowship as it happens that seems to be becoming a life coach with a team but she always gives far more credence to the word of God as that is her faith. She does see however how the new discoveries of how the brain works actually uphold the word of God.
I agree with this. If we follow Jesus, then we know that when He says something its always for our good and well being. We disobey Him at our peril.

I dont see why we cant make a decision to never refuse sex with our spouse. We dont have to 'feel' like it to do it. We can do it for their sake.
My husband had a very disappointing sex life with his first wife, who controlled every aspect of it. She said if and when they would have sex. It was never spontanious, and if she wasnt pleased with him about something, there was no sex for ages. He was rejected time and time again, and eventually he sort of gave up and was even finding it hard to 'perform' when he WAS allowed it.

When we married, he couldnt even say the 's' word to me for fear of rejection, and used to go in a very round about way to try and ascertain if I was at all interested. Because of all this, I made a decision at the beginning of our marriage that I would never ever reject him sexually and so far I havent.

Gradually over the first few years, he began to see that he wasnt going to be rejected any more, and got more confident about asking more directly and now he knows that I will never do that, and he doesnt do that to me either.

I am trying to say that we can decide ourselves in our own minds to do all we can to meet our spouses needs in this area and others, regardless of what we ourselves want or feel. If we have issues do to with childhood sexual abuse or similar, then there is so much help out there. For us as Christians there are places we can go to get good healing prayer/ministry which is actually the only thing that actually gets to the roots of any problems. Counselling can help to a point, but it only goes so far.
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