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Old 22nd October 2009, 08:29 PM   #71
Raymond
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,409
Re: Husband doesn't want sex

Amberheller there seems to be many problems going on here. One of the biggies for me is the porn. That can have a devastating effect on the marital intimacy. Read through some of these threads on it and you will see what I mean. It is really mental adultery and does divert the sexual drive onto these women he looks at on online. As a christian you will know that Jesus said if a man looks at a woman to lust after her he has committed adultery with her already in his heart. Isn't this happening in porn? As a man I know it is. How can God honour his marriage when that is happening?

You have to confront this Amberheller as it is not right. No all men do not do it. You don't have to be militant just confront in a normal voice. It will be hard to have a happy marriage with this going on. His intimacy should be with you and only you. Commitment means sexual commitment as well. One wonders what he is doing in the bath with his laptop quite frankly.

Maybe some of the other problems come from the porn as well in the way you have been replaced by this stuff. It is quite potent and can seriously affect ones spiritual life and relationship with God. To get free one must really want it and even then it will be a battle depending on how long it has been going on. A good movie that might help is "Fireproof" if you can get hold of it.

What you must remember is there is nothing wrong with you so don't let your self esteem be affected. It happens to very attractive women as well and the problem is the porn and what it does to a man. I'd really try and get some fellowship if you can. It is a big spiritual battle taking place in the part of your marriage which is supposed to be the most intimate and you will need all the help you can get. If he refuses to change you just might have to sadly use that option you spoke about.

Raymond
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