mmh

Amber,

I know what you mean about trying to decide if you've got the strength to make it work. I think that my husband loves me as much as he can. However, I don't think he has the ability to love me as much as I love him. Like your husband, he says he cares and that he loves me. But his actions show something different. I threatened to leave him about 3 weeks ago, but he asked me to stay. For a few days, he treated me with a little more attention. That stopped. Then we went for over 2 weeks with no sex and no mention of it.

I have put up with so much during the 12 years we have been together. But, I've stayed, hoping that one day, he would put me first and make me a priority. His children are 21 and 17, so they no longer depend on him as they once did. His ex-wife, who has caused numerous problems for us, has chilled out. So, one would think that since we have no children, we would have a great marriage and spend lots of time together. But, we don't. I have talked to him until I'm just tired. I even bought a Dr. Phil "Relationship Rescue" book. I completed about half of it and read my answers to my husband. His response? "There wasn't anything in there that I didn't already know." He then continued to watch TV. I'm tired of sleeping alone (he sleeps on the couch because I snore. But when we go out of town, he can tolerate it). I don't know how much longer I can take it. After I threatened to leave, I decided to give him about 4 weeks before I made a decision- and the decision would be based on how his actions. And, nothing's changed. My needs are not his needs and I feel they should be. I don't think me and you are asking too much. Marriage shouldn't be one-sided and it sounds like it has become that way for both of us. I'll pray for you and thanks for your support. Let me know if you need to vent.

Meg (MMH)