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Old 13th June 2014, 05:08 PM   #43
chosen
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,794
Re: Marriage of obligation vs my happiness?

Quote:
Originally Posted by RoadHome View Post
Counseling, God's word, community with other believers, and break in complete contact and thinking about her. 60 day detox, intensive workshops, and have filled my time with working on projects and with my son. But I still have this longing to return overseas, not for the other woman but out of a deep desire to service God there.

What of that or the lack of any form of any true relationship with my wife other than that centered around our son from the very beginning. I feel under the law and not grace, feel forced to stay under penalty of God's rejection of my if I choose to leave. As if He could never use me after that, again replacing people pleasing with a form of God pleasing by works alone for my salvation....
When you have children you are not always free to just pack up and go to another country. There is so much we can do in our own countries, so much need there without going anywhere else. I wonder if this desire to go abroad is caught up in the desire for the OW? Can you honestly say that you havent thought about the OW for 6 months? IT may seem attractive to you to go off leave all your responsibilities behind and escape from what you see as 'a prison of your own making', but your family must always come first.

Surely God wants you to be a good husband and father? That is your first and most important ministry before any thoughts of missionary work in another country. If you think of the time that Jesus came, marriages were all arranged. Do you honestly think that all these people loved their spouses in that way? Yet still divorce wasnt allowed except for specific reasons.
Staying with our spouse and children isnt 'works', its keeping our promises we made and doing to the best we can in that covenant relationship we undertook.

Last edited by chosen; 14th June 2014 at 02:13 PM.
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