Baroness

Thanks so much for all of your input, it has helped me come to this point. I do seem happier although nothing has changed between us but my mom prayed with me and I do see a change in him. He's talking more and even joking once in awhile and seems to be doing better. I can only hope and pray that it will get better. The closer to God I get the more I am able to be happy anyway and deal with this. I have to keep believing that God has the answer to this.
Its very different getting advice from christians than just a website with non-christians. I'm on the road to a better life and I do feel better. I have somehow come to accept what is happening even though I am not satisfied with the way things are. At some point in time I will talk to him again about this but I feel to just leave it for now and concentrate on getting my life in order with God. A lot is going on in our lives and not having a job is difficult but we do have love, him and I, and there are a lot of people in the world who do not.
To have someone truly love you is a wonderful thing in itself. Life isn't perfect and we have our issues and problems but as long as the love is there I think things can be worked out. I will just be honest and open with him when I talk to him and be patient and very nice, the way I usually am so as not to make him defensive. Meanwhile I will support him and treat him well like I always do. The difference now is that I won't be resenting him and angry deep inside me.
I have to change the way I think but anything is possible with God and being angry and resentful doesn't solve anything, its only hurting myself. I have to trust God and I have to trust this man I fell in love with so long ago. I'm not saying it will be an easy road, i'm just saying that with god's help we can travel this road together and eventually reach the end.