Thread: today
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Old 4th May 2006, 07:54 PM   #6
hoxton
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Re: today

Helenrw200,

I hope you dont mind me butting in but I have been reading a lot of your posts and I am shocked by how simlar our situations are, or should I say our husbands,

I also found my H with a second mobile phone full with a womans number on it that he has sworn he doesnt even know who she is he still claims he met her over the net and has never met her in person, But over the last year to 18 months I have found out that he has been looking at porn he used to hide it but I still found it I am like a hound dog...........
But now he does not even hide it any more, but like your H he does not think he has been unfaithfull to me because it has been over the phone and net and not in person like that is ok................ Where are they at ?
I do not think I will ever be able to fully trust him again because I know he is a liar and he never confesses to anything even if I found him in bed with another woman he would say "she was not there a min ago how did she get there"

He says he knows what he did was wrong and he will not talk to her again but it is not just that or her it is the whole porn thing he downloads porn all the time he has chatted on line he has exchanged sexual pics with other women, Why do they feel the need to do it I just dont know. I still struggle every day with it. He says it has nothing to do with the way he feels about me but like you have said why would you do something that you know would hurt the one you love.

I have joined the gym I think I have got a bit obssesed with it I go six times a week but I think it helps me feel a bit better about me it's like it gives me back a bit of control, I wish I could just have a healthy sex life well thats not true we do have an active sex life it's just that it is not enough for him is it he obviously feels the need to do this I told him that it's the fact is all behind my back, But I think that's what the addiction is it is knowing he is playing with fire,
Sorry for rambling on It's just that it is thursday evening and when I found the phone I was shocked to find he used to call her on his way home from darts thurs night, So even now I still get myself upset. See this is not good when is it gonna stop I just cant stand it. I hate this feeling in my gut, I just want to be happy inside not just a front and he does make me happy most the time but when I am on my own I am still sad most days, they say it gets easier, tues and thurs are especially hard for me.

We had a really lovely day even took the kids for a walk along the canal walked hand in hand and I really thought yeh we are gonna be ok, And now look at me he is upstairs getting ready for darts and I get myself in a state.

I am sure I will be ok again tommorow.

I think that it is great that you have come of the A/D and are going for therapy it will make you stronger and a person for it,

Sorry for going on so much. I just needed to let of some steam.

I wish you all the luck and my thoughts are with you.


Amanda

Last edited by hoxton; 4th May 2006 at 08:11 PM.
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