Thread: today
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Old 5th May 2006, 07:45 PM   #15
Lovey
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Re: today

Amanda, you said..
Quote:
And your right about the gym I hurt the muscle just below my calf and I have not been able to run for the past week or so. I am now using the cross trainer instead I do an hour of cardio a day then my weights sit ups and stretchs.
Argh, I had hurt my back when I worked out too much. They say (trainers) as long as you leave a day in between for weight lifting and two days off everything, you're good! :P

I'm sorry to hear you have had bouts of bulimia. You're smart to keep on top of things with regards to the Bulimia. This is a very cruicial time for you and if you feel yourself really letting go of control, you always have us and counselling. Stay strong.

Helen, I'm also sorry to hear about your agoraphobia. That doesn't help matters, does it? You're right to say partially you feel unable to leave because you're dependant on him. It's one of the hardest things to do if you're physically or financially dependant upon someone. It can be scary as it is to be on your own but to do it when you're used to a certain lifestyle? It makes things a little harder. When you're stronger, you won't feel that dependance as much.

I'm a little out of the loop, because my H just watches porn, but I can tell you that from what I've read of both of your posts, I'm with you. I have to wonder if both are seeing someone else. All signs point to yes, unfortunately.

Helen, you were saying that if he could do something about this why does he stay or how can he care for you? I thought about it and wondered if you think it's possible that either the guys feel stuck in the relationship as you do or if they or he is staying until something else comes along? Something to consider. It's better to be forewarned or forearmed... whatever that saying is.

Amanda, have you ever thought of calling this woman and meeting with her? Sometimes a jolt of reality (to her) will let her see what she's doing to an entire family. One of my girlfriends H's was cheating on her with a young girl. She found out about it and he told her he couldn't leave this woman because he cared for her. My friend set up a meeting with the girl to let her know what's going on within the home and it turned out that the girl was being lied to by the H as much as the wife was. The girl left my friend's H and my friend was able to salvage her marriage, still being married with four kids today.

That's if you want to salvage things, it's something to consider.

PS. It's neither of yours or my "fault" that these men are watching porn or if yours is seeing someone behind your back. Don't ever think that. They'd have done it on their own and it has to do with their own insecurities and issues. Introducing someone to kink doesn't make for eventual lies or covering up. That's all him. (them.. meaning, our guys)

What I detest about my guy watching porn is that over the years I know that it will only get worse, may lead to other things and it will detract from our sexlife. This is proven time and time again with marriages splitting up because of porn. Watching porn is easier for the man. He gets lazy and doesn't have to touch his wife, feel that intimacy, etc.
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