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Old 22nd December 2013, 03:33 PM   #10
Car111
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Re: Hoping to move forward

[QUOTE=Raymond;77413]I think he is trying but it feels contrived to him. I think he should ignore this and press ahead. He can change. I have.
[QUOTE]
Hi Raymond! I remember talking with you before about physical touch as the love language. How can I try to have more affection from him when I am the one who is wanting it? I don't want to keep asking him about it over and over, it comes across as nagging. Is there anything I can do from my end? I told him yesterday what I need in terms of affection and I think he got the message that it was important to me. So I guess now I just wait and see?

I am hoping he can change, or that it starts feeling more natural to him. Right now he is worried that it will feel forced. But even if it does feel forced right now, if he keeps doing it eventually it will feel natural to him? How do I get that message across to him? What I think is that he feels that he wants to wait until it 'feels natural'. Funny thing is that when we first started on reconciling he was being so very affectionate and it must have felt ok then for him.. so why is it different now?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raymond View Post
Loving you all round, beyond feelings as well, is very important in a marriage. I put it at number one for a husband personally.
I feel he is working very hard right now on getting back together and working on things with me. I think he loves me in his own way. He has been so helpful around the house making us nice dinners and helping with the children's activities. He has still not said "I love you" to me since February. I have not said it to him either. It's not that I don't feel it, but I don't want to say it if I feel he won't say it back.

He is wanting to move back in. I am going to talk to him about it in counseling next week. I only want him to move back in if he feels that he is absolutely certain about our marriage. How am I going to know? If he were to leave again I would be pretty upset. He hasn't told me he loves me yet. Should I worry about this? Would I want him to move back in yet if he hasn't told me those words? I am confused about all of this.
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