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Old 23rd December 2013, 12:12 PM   #15
Roses
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Re: Hoping to move forward

Quote:
Originally Posted by Car111 View Post
It was such a strange feeling, to go through all of this. Believing that we were separating and now we are reconciling.

In the beginning of us getting back together he was reaching out to me and talking to me and giving me lots of affection. It felt so good because he has not so much as hugged me since the big bomb drop. [B]We had never been that affectionate in our marriage, even in the beginning. I became so hopeful, because I realized that was wanted in a marriage, someone to reach out to me in that way. I felt so loved. I guess [B]you get so used to the way things are that you don't notice that you are missing something.

In the past few weeks he has stopped being affectionate again and it has me worried. I feel like things are going back to how they were before, and it makes me sad. I brought it up to him this morning.

I am feeling quite sad. I brought up the affection issue with my H this morning. I told him that I would like more affection. I expressed that when we were starting to reconcile he showed me lots of affection, and I felt so loved. I felt better than I have in years, that I didn't realize it was possible to have a marriage like that, that I was so happy and it felt so good.

I told him that I feel sad now because I feel like it's not like that anymore and asked what might have changed between then and now.
He said that it feels awkward sometimes. He told me that he has spoken about affection with his counselor. He said that she feels that he might be holding back in order to punish me. I told him that sometimes it feels that way. I said that I didn't feel it was fair that he was only reaching out to be affectionate when he wanted to make love, and he agreed.

I feel so lost and alone right now and angry. I feel like I want to isolate myself from him in order to protect myself and my feelings. I recognize this is a pattern I often get into. At least I am recognizing it, although I don't know what to do.


I talked to him again before he left for work. I was crying and he asked what was wrong. I just explained that I was so happy at how things were and that now I felt like we were backtracking. He reassured me that this is why we are working at things.
Hi

I am totally on the same page with Chosen. Reading the above is really heartbreaking.

Last edited by Roses; 23rd December 2013 at 12:22 PM.
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