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Old 12th April 2014, 01:20 PM   #1
edgya1234
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Question Question for men - I would apreciate your candid opinion

however he is ok looking and made me feel good about myself.
If I think back he was so persistent and consistent in his efforts so I end up caring for him a lot.
After years of bliss and problems (not between us - mostly us not having experiencing a downsize in the income and therefore in the life stile) he went to work in his birth country (which is Spain).
Needless to say that is the youngest of three boys and the apple of his mother's eyes.
Spain's economy is troubled and he didn't get the same payment, has money issues and more problems than before.
Three weeks before when the issues with the money get though he started lashing out at me very ugly. Passed from missing me and me being the reason of waking up in the morning to me being the reason he is in such a bad spot and that he does not love me anymore and out of the blue wants a divorce
Perhaps I should go back and say it is not so out of character because in all those years we had few setbacks based on the house he grew up in and the strange power his mother has over him. Stuff like she likes that he drives her somewhere instead of her own husband. She knows his friends. Went out with him and his friends couple of times etc.
Before you jump to ideas she is old and showing it. However she had three boys, he is the youngest and she manipulated him the most. The thing she used to tell me over and over was "I don't know what you did to him but he never wanted to marry until you".
She and I had our quarrels. I am a strong woman, I've run businesses and I was tired of being told what to do and how.
More than that out of the three boys one never sees her and she does not know her grandchildren because she did something to his wife; the second one went to the other part of Spain and his wife is happy with the distance.
Coming back to my husband as I said we had 2 smaller episodes before: 1 when he started acting thermonuclear with me out of the blue at the thought of having problems with money - we were supposed to be on a short cruise and I told him to get lost and go to mama (he had a shock that he is loosing me and straightened up); 2 one night before when I was having a major international fair for my most important client when out of the blue he bluntly told me that he is leaving me and was trying to say anything he could to hurt me - needless to say I didn't sleep the whole night and I was a zomby next day - after a day he called me and started crying that he doesn't know how to live without me and bla, bla - and well being in Berlin I had the opportunity to put him off for a week and tell him is the last time he goes bat crazy.
So now in one month, after his ordeal in Spain - he never ever had problems with money in his life, after the fact that he is close to his mother and father and seeing his mother "suffering"for him that he has an un-supportive wife who in those times of "crises wants to do a MBA and has as a goal running a multinational (forgetting the fact that all things in life started from goals and I generally reach my goals) he comes out of the blue and started on being aggressive first, than on lashing out on me, than 3 weeks ago he started with the wants to be with his problems and his parents and will not live with me in Barcelona, than the divorce, than when I said I go along he pedaled back, than came back stronger and let escape some things that his parents are asking him what is he doing with his life, and yesterday said not that he does not love me but that his heart is empty and compared me with things such as my business that is over, his former job that he lost moving etc.
He is calling mi "mi amor" (which in spanish means my love) and he professed his hate towards me not in so many words but in the things he wants to do to me, he really wants to hurt me and see me suffer because somehow he believes that I've hurt him probably.
Anyhow there is no other woman - if that will be the case he will kick me to the curb in a minute and he will not want to spend his life with me in in hurting me. It is strange.
Somehow I think is the fact that he is alone because he keeps saying that and he also said that he does not see the moment when I get there. Altough I just need to sell the car, rent the house, decide on MBA, speak to professors about the job, chose one and get packing
So as I said, what should I do? Take him at his word, give him the divorce (that is in Spain I get to decide) and let him drown himself or put my big ego aside and try to pack him up and see where it goes? The thing is that if this would not be my first marriage (and the only one as I hopped), if he was not such a big part of my life, if he was any other relationship I would have end it by now because what the ..., I am nobody's foll. But I have doubts...

Thank you so much guys I really value your opinion
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