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Old 2nd September 2011, 06:34 PM   #55
1aokgal
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Re: Married and lonely

Dear Sasha..

I'm curious why you brought all that animosity on this trip, like your carryall bag waiting to explode. You told your husband when the friend was surprised at such tension (on a trip that should have been fun..she asked if you could patch it up. So you said in front of of him....."it was dead". That was just like a nasty slap in the face to the man, who made an effort, to take his family for a nice day.
If he did not engage in much conversation with you it is because obviously your sour face showed your feelings. He went for his son' sake. Obviously he loves the boy to do that for him. He made conversation with the friend. That is, until you brought your confrontation there, where it didn't belong!

Sasha, what did you expect him to say or do? That remark must have been very embarassing for him (and especially to the friend.) Rather spiteful conduct, Sasha. What did you get out of that moment?

I agree this marriage is dead. You are just floating along until you can do better. Many men would take their paychecks ...and leave. I suggest you best curb your antagonism until you have your bags packed and can make your own way! Sorry, I see no Christian effort on your part to make this marriage better to even coexist. I feel sorry for you both when you so waste life. I am sure your son picks up on your ill concealed dislike. That climate in the home will effect the decisions he will make in his life in the future.

For instance..things might go this way after such a day....Wife to husband, "Thanks for taking us on this nice day. I had a great time and I know Johnny did too. It would be so nice if we could do more outings like this." Smile. Can you see why things could not go that way?
This man gets no "attaboy" for the effort made. Why should he make an effort? That was like taking a trip with a frozen pie. Sorry, you don't get my vote for your effort to improve....even being civil here. If I were this man..I would leave..take the paycheck and leave. I guess that would be a problem for you?
I see things a bit differently perhaps. I see your dependency on him and he still does things for his family, in spite of your dislike.
PS You owe the man an apology for your inappropriate response to the friends' question on this trip. Yes, do get some counselling before this marriage blows up in your face before you plan it. You might end up in a shelter without his help.

I also wonder what you label as porn? I remember some thought Playboy magazine was porn, but it was widely read by educated people. World famous writers contibuted political and editorial content. It wasn't my choice of reading, but the magazine was part of our social tapestry for tasteful nudes and commentary. Most men like such reading and I don't label it that as hard porn. Neither are the nude paintings, sculptors in the museums considered porn.

Did you ever love this man?
You said in your post you consider your husband a complete idiot. I guess the answer to that question would be "no."
Isn't there a way you can rush along on your training so he can be free?

Last edited by 1aokgal; 3rd September 2011 at 06:53 AM.
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