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Old 22nd November 2006, 12:35 PM   #6
Posts: n/a
Re: Christian Marriage And Sex Toys

I am a man - but the man you're describing to me sounds very much like he just wants your body for his pleasure. I'm not making judgements here, just an observation. Helen's suggested you may just be a woman seeking sex - maybe you are. But, assuming you are really seeking help - -

I can't tell you what to do, but I can suggest that there seem to be issues here. Spare us the details, but what does "procedures" mean? Your need for foreplay is perfectly normal, and personally I need it too. Its FUN! Sex is meant to be a loving, caring, fun thing.

So, think about foreplay for a moment - what can you do together to help him realise it's good for him too - all that teasing, touching, enjoying, and making the moment last. Show him how it can be soooo much more than juist a quick shag.

Do you use foreplay with him? Just because we're men, with an obvious sign of arousal, doesn't mean we don't need or want foreplay too.

Now, what do you need? Show him too - and if that means playing with yourself, and you're comfortable doing so, then consider that. Let it be known you enjoy it - encourage him to do it for you, and make it clear that what he's doing is nice.

Encourage the behaviours you need and reward them. DO NOT criticise or complain.

I see nothing sinfull in enjoying sex and wanting it to be nice. But you both seem to have unresolved issues here and it could well be worth seeking professinal help to try and find understanding of each others needs and drivers.

If all he want is "satisfaction", tell him to masturbate. It's normal, natural and healthy. Using YOU as a "sextoy" isn't. And the same applies to you too.

Does this help? Mike.

Last edited by Mike56; 22nd November 2006 at 12:49 PM.
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