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Old 13th January 2014, 02:58 PM   #195
magneto
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Re: I don't love my wife and never have...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Raymond View Post
It seems to me you feel unappreciated Magneto when you say after all I have done for her. It doesn't always work that way. It's not like I have done this this and this for her and now she says she doesn't love me. If we do things we should do them out of love not to get something back. Not overlooking the fact that there is a marriage problem there of course but maybe you are also making a blockage by thinking poor old me and getting a bit bitter about it?

If she is willing to go to marriage counseling it means that she is seeking answers. I don't think it helps you to love her if you are feeling like that. The way you love might not be touching her. What do you think her love language is? I think you are cutting yourself off through bitterness and making it impossible to find a way of reconciliation and bringing love back into the marriage.
I never looked at getting anything in return for what I have done for her. That was simply a way of making a point, which was that I didn't deserve the treatment I was getting over the years. Trust me, there is no poor old me feeling. It's more of a life is too short feeling. I won't say that I'm not somewhat bitter. I think that goes with any relationship that is not doing well. And no, it's not good to try and reconcile if I feel I can not get over, or get back the feelings I once had for her. I believe she is more concerned about not being married, than the concern of not being with me. I used to feel that way as well. If I'm going to be here for the long haul it can not be out of fear of losing her, it must be for the love and enjoyment of being with her.
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