Site Areas
Wedding Centre
Health Club
Marriage Clinic
Chapel
University
Citizen's Centre
Coffee Shop
Admin Centre

Contents
Articles
Books
CDs / Videos
Tips
Services

Resources
Forums
Membership
Contact Us
Site map
Link to Us

Search

Take the Couple Check-up!

Marriage Week UK

Marriage first aid

Online support for your marriage

Free Tell A Friend from Bravenet


Home > Forums
2-in-2-1 Discussion Forums  
Old 7th May 2013, 07:04 PM   #1
Scared 1022
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Please Help

My husband and I have been married for 24yrs. I just found out that he has been having an affair for several months. He has denied cheating and still won't admit it. We had a huge fight almost 2 weeks ago and have been seperated since. He is living with his sister and started calling us (our children) since last Saturday night. However, last night and today he has not called. Which I suspected because he usually doesnt come home on Thursday and Friday night. Which is her time. She is married also and I have spoken to her and she denies that she even knows him. When I talk to him he says he loves me and that he doesnt want a divorce and I don't either. But he hasn't given her up yet and I can't take him back if he is still with her. Should I just move on with my life? Get myself a friend and let 24 yrs of marriage go? I'm so lost right now. I just want my life back.
  Reply With Quote
Old 8th May 2013, 08:50 AM   #2
Raymond
Moderator
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,409
Re: Please Help

You are right you cannot take him back when he is with her. Even if the affair finishes, I would say you still cannot take him back where there is no repentance about it. I would be tough and cut him off. This might produce repentance or it might not. At the moment he thinks he can have his cake and eat it but that is no marriage. You must give him clear lines and clear choices. Either her or you. Not both. It won't work any other way. If you don't do that you will be in danger of enabling it.

He has broken the trust and that will take a long time to re-establish and never at all if there is no repentance.
Raymond is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 8th May 2013, 03:43 PM   #3
chosen
Registered User
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,794
Re: Please Help

I agree with Raymond, you need to be firm and make sure that he has not only stopped any cvontcat with her, but has admiited to it and is totally repentant before you ever consider having him back. Even if these things happen, I would not have him back until a time of counselling and making sure that he knows that if it ever happens again that is it.
The fact that he wont even admit to it doesnt bode well. Until he makes an effort of end it and put things right, dont have any contact.
My opinion is that her husband also needs to know that she is cheating on him.
chosen is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 05:11 PM.


Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.


Top

Copyright ©1999-2024 2-in-2-1 Limited. All rights reserved. Disclaimer