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Old 19th May 2015, 06:34 PM   #1231
Lindentree1
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Re: Recently separated after 17 years of marriage honest advice and views needed

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Originally Posted by ralfgarnett View Post
Wouldn't that be lovely feeling happy and care free, my friend is coming to see me tonight for a chat we kind of keep each other going a bit when the chips are down.
I am so glad you have each other to confide in.
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Old 19th May 2015, 07:12 PM   #1232
ralfgarnett
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Re: Recently separated after 17 years of marriage honest advice and views needed

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I am so glad you have each other to confide in.
Yes me too but unfortunately I can feel my mood starting to dip a bit and already been in tears, that's depression for you but I think im also just a bit tired after last night.
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Old 19th May 2015, 07:37 PM   #1233
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Re: Recently separated after 17 years of marriage honest advice and views needed

Well we are not meeting up tonight now, so I think I might get an early night.
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Old 19th May 2015, 08:17 PM   #1234
chosen
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Re: Recently separated after 17 years of marriage honest advice and views needed

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That is really sad. I wonder if was only just about the marriage or if some underlying mental illness was at play.

I think getting help when you need it is critical, as well. I'm in therapy because I know I need more tools to deal with this situation.
I dont know all the circumstances, she was a lady my mother knew a very long time ago whose husband wanted a divorce after a very long marriage. Its was a bitter divorce and the poor lady couldnt take it any more.
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Old 19th May 2015, 08:20 PM   #1235
chosen
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Re: Recently separated after 17 years of marriage honest advice and views needed

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Hi Ralf,

So nice of you to worry about me. It just shows what a caring man you are. I didn't mean suicidal for me, exactly, but I have wished I would die in my sleep many days. I know I probably shouldn't be wishing that, if I'm making any sense.

My wish is for both of us to get to the point of feeling stronger and able to feel the joy in life, to get to the point of knowing we'll be okay no matter what happens.
I too went to bed most days for years saying that I just felt I couldnt cope any more(I was also in debt and lack), but I had to because of the children.
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Old 19th May 2015, 08:38 PM   #1236
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Re: Recently separated after 17 years of marriage honest advice and views needed

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I too went to bed most days for years saying that I just felt I couldnt cope any more(I was also in debt and lack), but I had to because of the children.
Throughout this entire sorry situation my bed has been my safe place where I can hide and nobody or anything can get at me, I keep it clean, aired, fresh, and comfortable at all times.
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Old 20th May 2015, 01:56 AM   #1237
Lindentree1
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Re: Recently separated after 17 years of marriage honest advice and views needed

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I too went to bed most days for years saying that I just felt I couldnt cope any more(I was also in debt and lack), but I had to because of the children.
They were and are lucky to have you, Chosen.
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Old 20th May 2015, 09:19 AM   #1238
ralfgarnett
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Re: Recently separated after 17 years of marriage honest advice and views needed

Well at least had a better night sleep last night, had a nightmare though, I was dreaming I was in a taxi and the taxi driver was the male nurse currently in the news that poisoned his patients with insulin, and he wouldn't let me out of the cab just kept staring at me through the clear screen between the at seat and the back of the cab, bit odd but still here and drinking my coffee, also had an overwhelming urge to ring WW to ask her to meet up to talk to try to sort us out, but its not the right time yet my opportunity will come I'm just going to stay NC what do you all think stay NC or break cover make contact and see if we could try to sort things ?.
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Old 20th May 2015, 09:31 AM   #1239
chosen
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Re: Recently separated after 17 years of marriage honest advice and views needed

Ralf she knows that you want that from the last time you contacted her.
IF you did email her or write to her and say that, and she again said she didnt want to come back, would you then let her go and accept her decision?
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Old 20th May 2015, 09:59 AM   #1240
ralfgarnett
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Re: Recently separated after 17 years of marriage honest advice and views needed

I'm going to stay NC she knows where I am if she has anything worth saying, i'll get my chance just need to be patient, I think that the total silence between us gets to me sometimes as we always communicated well and we talked a lot, I am not an attention seeking sort of chap in fact I'm pretty much fuss free but a friend of mine that studies astrology told me something very interesting that my birth sign is by nature quite up front and hates being ignored, apparently I am the equivalent of a friendly little puppy that everyone loves and pats on the head, an interesting slant on my persona never thought of myself that way before.
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Old 20th May 2015, 01:14 PM   #1241
chosen
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Re: Recently separated after 17 years of marriage honest advice and views needed

Astrology is pretty useless to be honest.
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Old 20th May 2015, 01:31 PM   #1242
ralfgarnett
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Re: Recently separated after 17 years of marriage honest advice and views needed

I find it quite interesting, I'm no expert on it but on reading about the typical traits of my own birth sign they match me almost identically
(when on form) and also those of my wife its quite uncanny really, what I don't take any interest in is the tat one might find in the tabloids that's just pure fiction but each to their own I suppose.
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Old 20th May 2015, 03:35 PM   #1243
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Re: Recently separated after 17 years of marriage honest advice and views needed

I wouldn't pay too much attention to it Ralph. If you read the descriptions of different 'signs' without reading the name of the sign, in most cases, you'll find a handful of traits that may make you go, "That sounds like me," and a handful of traits that you may think sound nothing like you, whether it's your sign or not. It's a little like fortune cookies or indeed daily horoscopes, the people who write them make them as vague as possible so that they can apply to virtually anyone.
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Old 20th May 2015, 04:40 PM   #1244
chosen
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Re: Recently separated after 17 years of marriage honest advice and views needed

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Originally Posted by ralfgarnett View Post
I find it quite interesting, I'm no expert on it but on reading about the typical traits of my own birth sign they match me almost identically
(when on form) and also those of my wife its quite uncanny really, what I don't take any interest in is the tat one might find in the tabloids that's just pure fiction but each to their own I suppose.
Well there will be many who have the same star sign as you whose character and personality are completely different from yours, so its bound to apply to a few just because of chance. My first husband and I had the same star sign, and we were VERY different.
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Old 20th May 2015, 07:30 PM   #1245
ralfgarnett
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Re: Recently separated after 17 years of marriage honest advice and views needed

My wife and I face each other on the astrological chart which according to my friend that knows these things makes us very compatible, which of course we always were and still could be given half a chance.
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