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Old 31st August 2010, 09:37 PM   #31
Annie
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Re: Big Mistake

First day back at work after 3 weeks off sick after gall bladder op, was ok til i got an emil sying she is going to forgive and forget !! i feel like i went through all that pain and he gets away scot free
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Old 1st September 2010, 12:16 PM   #32
Helen_uk
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Re: Big Mistake

She might forgive Annie, I don't think forgetting will be that easy though.

I doubt he will get away scot free either , I should imagine he will have a lot of ground to make up. If he's done this once chances are he will do it again, and what goes around comes around so at some point it will catch up with him.

In any case it ( he ) is no longer your problem so if I were you I'd chalk the whole thing down to experience and move on . Block his and her e-mail address as I'm sure you don't want to hear updates and leave them to sort out their marital problems .

Try to look at the positives , you had a lucky escape, you could have ended up in a relationship with a cheater , instead you're free to find someone worth your attention . And you've also learned a little about what you don't want.
x
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Old 6th September 2010, 09:45 PM   #33
Annie
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Re: Big Mistake

Having a pretty rough evening after the wife sent an email to my friend saying how they'd had a fab weekend and all is going well between them !! I am torn between wanting to know what is going on but then it just hurts when I find out...I cant understand how she can get past this so easily and move on !!! I suppose I wnt him to hurt as much as me but it just does nt seem to be the case, I feel like I was just used by him, he obviously loves his wife a lot to want to stay together and so he obviously had none for me, he has nt even been in touch since, which in a way I suppose I m grateful but I cant explain the thoughts whizzing round my head, I ve been married twice before and cant believe I fell so easily for his lies and here I am at 44 with no one to snuggle up to at night. I never thought that would be my life. I ve joined a dating site and ll the guys are just after sex..which just reinforces my belief that all men are sh1ts....
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Old 6th September 2010, 10:01 PM   #34
chosen
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Re: Big Mistake

Annie there are some good guys out there, it may take a while to find one but there are. I know quite a few really nice guys. OK most of them are Christians (as I am), but not all of them. I was divorced at around your age, and after 6 years met my present husband. and he is a really good and decent man.

I am amazed that his wife can just carry on as if nothing has happened, but it will have badly affected their relationship whether it seems like it or not.
If he has done it once, he can do it again (and probably will) I dont know how she can trust him. I also disagree with you that he must love his wife. If he loved her he wouldnt have treated her like dirt and cheated on her and betrayed her would he?
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Old 6th September 2010, 10:07 PM   #35
Annie
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Re: Big Mistake

maybe she does nt want me to know how bad she is feeling ? I ve ordered that book, is it "getting over your break up" and a couple of others off Amazon so hopefully they will be here soon, I was doing ok up til this latest email, BUT am not going to sit here moping..I m going to have a nice bath n then curl up in bed with a good book !!!
thanks again for your help and support, it seriously hs stopped me from losing the plot..just knowing that I can have a moan on here and that there is someone listening...
Ann
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Old 6th September 2010, 10:52 PM   #36
UpandDown
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Re: Big Mistake

Well done Ann! BTW please let me know on my thread what went on with Dan in the end. I saw he took the song off altogether. He's now blaming me for Linda dumping him....go figure!!
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Old 6th September 2010, 11:01 PM   #37
Wiggle
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Re: Big Mistake

Hi Anne,

I'd ask your friend not to pass any more information about the two of them. It'll just mess your head up when you're trying to move on.

The bath and the book sound like a great idea!

Re. men - I think there's truth in the old phrase, you've got to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince....

Axx
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Old 7th September 2010, 12:18 AM   #38
So alone
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Re: Big Mistake

Hey Annie,

I second the above wholeheartedly!

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Old 7th September 2010, 05:02 AM   #39
chosen
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Re: Big Mistake

Annie I also agree with the above posts. Cut off all contact with the mans wife, whether through e-mail or the friend. It REALLY isnt going to help you at all to put it all behind. Who knows what lies her husband is feeding her about your relationship. If he lied to you, he will be lying to her as well.
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Old 7th September 2010, 10:48 AM   #40
Annie
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Re: Big Mistake

You re right..got the first of my "self help" books so will make a start on then...feel loads better thanks !!
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Old 14th November 2010, 05:24 PM   #41
Annie
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Re: Big Mistake

I cant believe its nearly 3 months since all this went on and i still cant over it. i still think about him all the time, and have to physically stop myself from calling him, although i know I d only get a load of abuse from him for telling her. It s killing me not being able to move on !
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Old 14th November 2010, 06:12 PM   #42
chosen
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Re: Big Mistake

Annie try to stop the thoughts from remaining in your mind. Try and stop yourself from dwelling on him. If a thought comes, think about something else, or do something else to take your mind off it. Dont let him remain in your mind.
3 months isnt that long, you were deeply hurt and lied to.
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Old 14th November 2010, 06:13 PM   #43
Annie
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Re: Big Mistake

Do you think he still thinks about me? Do you think she's got over it by now ?
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Old 14th November 2010, 06:33 PM   #44
chosen
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Re: Big Mistake

I am sure that his wife hasnt got over it, no. I think that it takes much more time than 3 months to get over the fact that your husband was unfaithful, but that isnt your fault Annie. You didnt know about her,and were lied to by three people.

As for whether he thinks about you, its impossible to say, but hopefully he will be focusing on his marriage now.
I am sure that he did care about you in some way, but he did treat you both very very badly and was never yours to have.

Dont let a man who cheats and betrays ruin any more of your life. He lied to you and lied to his wife and he led you on. He isnt worth it.If he has done that once, he can do it again.

Last edited by chosen; 14th November 2010 at 08:38 PM.
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Old 2nd December 2010, 10:11 PM   #45
Annie
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Re: Big Mistake

I'm still so unhappy..I cant seem to move on. I want to and I m trying really hard, I ve deleted all the old emails I had from both him n her so I wouldnt keep torturing myself by reading them. i'm even dreaming about him so even sleep and early nights dont help. I do make a concious effort, when I find myself thinking stuff about him, to get up n do something or switch channels on tv..anything really to try n stop. Everything I do is just crap...I cant seem to do anything right ..my daughter at uni is unhappy and I m sticking to "tough love" by not letting her quit. I cant even keep my friends, they all have their own agendas..i must be such a sh1t person for people to treat me the way I do and there just seems no light at the end of the tunnel. Another Xmas and I'm on my own again.
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