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Old 13th August 2015, 03:47 PM   #61
Jaxon
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.

No, I didn't sleep well, honestly. Neither did my wife, every time I looked in on her she was restless. And I didn't come picking a fight, either, but she has been on my case as soon as I started posting here. And you're all defending her, so I'm feeling even more picked on right now.

But no, we've been given no answers. Everything tested came out fine. Though I've been told there are other tests that most doctors won't do, you'd have to go to a specialist. there are actually no support groups in our area, she looked it up, showed me, and I did some looking of my own. There aren't even any in our state, when I looked that up. Nor in the next state, where we live close to the capital city of actually.

She has tried websites, and found them terribly clique-y, or women just wanting to talk about their babies that made it. She said she felt excluded and ignored.
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Old 13th August 2015, 04:16 PM   #62
ralfgarnett
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaxon View Post
No, I didn't sleep well, honestly. Neither did my wife, every time I looked in on her she was restless. And I didn't come picking a fight, either, but she has been on my case as soon as I started posting here. And you're all defending her, so I'm feeling even more picked on right now.

But no, we've been given no answers. Everything tested came out fine. Though I've been told there are other tests that most doctors won't do, you'd have to go to a specialist. there are actually no support groups in our area, she looked it up, showed me, and I did some looking of my own. There aren't even any in our state, when I looked that up. Nor in the next state, where we live close to the capital city of actually.

She has tried websites, and found them terribly clique-y, or women just wanting to talk about their babies that made it. She said she felt excluded and ignored.
Blimey you do have a chip on your shoulder, I can't see anyone defending her just well meaning people trying to help you both, also why did you tell her you were posting on here ?, my advice would of been to have kept it to yourself and used the information you received in a knowledgeable way, seems to me that your wife perceives you joining this website as even more people poking their noses in, had it been me I would of said nothing, not to be deceitful but in order to gain advice with which to help your wife and joint situation.
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Old 13th August 2015, 04:18 PM   #63
Jaxon
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.

I did not mean my wife.
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Old 13th August 2015, 05:15 PM   #64
Lindentree1
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.

No one is trying to pick on you, Jaxon. We know you are not happy now. Honestly, we're trying to help.

I tried for over a decade to have a child. There was even an adoption attempt that fell through. I would have given anything to be a mother, and it didn't happen for me. I don't think it helped my marriage either, frankly. I didn't think I'd go through life without being a mother, and I never thought my husband would leave me. Bad things happen. But we have to try to help ourselves. You need to try to help yourself, too. Otherwise this pain will take you under. You don't want that.

Was there any advice you found helpful here? I think you might be misplacing your anger--it makes sense, but we are just trying to help.

We have all been through something hard here, and we come to this board to help ourselves and each other. You're one of us--if you want to be.
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Old 13th August 2015, 05:25 PM   #65
Jaxon
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.

Of course you'd say that. No, nothing has been helpful.
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Old 13th August 2015, 07:45 PM   #66
chosen
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaxon View Post
No, I didn't sleep well, honestly. Neither did my wife, every time I looked in on her she was restless. And I didn't come picking a fight, either, but she has been on my case as soon as I started posting here. And you're all defending her, so I'm feeling even more picked on right now.

But no, we've been given no answers. Everything tested came out fine. Though I've been told there are other tests that most doctors won't do, you'd have to go to a specialist. there are actually no support groups in our area, she looked it up, showed me, and I did some looking of my own. There aren't even any in our state, when I looked that up. Nor in the next state, where we live close to the capital city of actually.

She has tried websites, and found them terribly clique-y, or women just wanting to talk about their babies that made it. She said she felt excluded and ignored.
Um thats one thing that I didnt do and that is take her side against you at all. In fact the opposite, and if you read back you will see that.
You dont need a group in your area, but just a place for her to be able to ring and get advise and help or for someone to listen to her. I sent you some in the UK because thats where I thought you were from, but I am sure that the USA will have far more.
As for the groups, sometimes you just have to persevere and not give up.
It is possible for her to see a specialist?
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Old 13th August 2015, 07:46 PM   #67
chosen
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.

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Of course you'd say that. No, nothing has been helpful.
OH well not sure what you are expecting but you have had lots of good advise here.
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Old 13th August 2015, 07:49 PM   #68
chosen
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.

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Originally Posted by Lindentree1 View Post
No one is trying to pick on you, Jaxon. We know you are not happy now. Honestly, we're trying to help.

I tried for over a decade to have a child. There was even an adoption attempt that fell through. I would have given anything to be a mother, and it didn't happen for me. I don't think it helped my marriage either, frankly. I didn't think I'd go through life without being a mother, and I never thought my husband would leave me. Bad things happen. But we have to try to help ourselves. You need to try to help yourself, too. Otherwise this pain will take you under. You don't want that.

Was there any advice you found helpful here? I think you might be misplacing your anger--it makes sense, but we are just trying to help.

We have all been through something hard here, and we come to this board to help ourselves and each other. You're one of us--if you want to be.
I agree, you are putting your anger and frustration onto those here, and because of that you cant see that you have had good advise and lots of sympathy and kindness already despite your bad attitude.

Last edited by chosen; 13th August 2015 at 07:56 PM.
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Old 13th August 2015, 07:51 PM   #69
chosen
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.

http://miscarriagesupport.com/

http://www.throughtheheart.org/

Last edited by chosen; 13th August 2015 at 07:56 PM.
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Old 13th August 2015, 07:54 PM   #70
ralfgarnett
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.

Right ok I don't generally give up on fellow people in need of advice or just somewhere to vent, but nuts to this he is just going to keep spitting his dummy regardless of whom or what is trying to help him he sounds like a big sulky teenager not a grown up married man. so I am completely bailing out of this thread as I have enough on my plate without banging my head against a brick wall, good luck and goodbye Jaxon I wish you well.

Last edited by ralfgarnett; 13th August 2015 at 08:01 PM.
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Old 13th August 2015, 08:13 PM   #71
Jaxon
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.

We tried a specialist, but she asked to quit.
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Old 13th August 2015, 08:17 PM   #72
Raymond
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.

Can you tell us her background Jaxon? Anything traumatic from the past. I sense she has a lot of fear there. Sometimes this can come from a fraught childhood. What was she involved in before she met you? Her interests and affiliations? Many times our present problems are rooted in the past.

My wife had a series of miscarriages before we had our first. After prayer it was felt there was a gypsy thing in her past on her grandfathers side. Somehow an occultic thing was coming down the generational line. After prayer she conceived the next time and again later.

Last edited by Raymond; 13th August 2015 at 08:23 PM.
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Old 13th August 2015, 08:23 PM   #73
Jaxon
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.

Nothing traumatic in her past as far as I know. She doesn't smoke or do drugs, barely drinks. She's been involved in everything artsy since well before I knew her, and I've never had anyone tell me any kind of paint or chemical could have any effect on her. She's always been healthy, no cancer or anything, though her if I remember great grandmother had uterine cancer.

There's a lot of fear now, especially of failure. She's never feared failure before, but now sees this as the biggest failure.
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Old 13th August 2015, 09:33 PM   #74
chosen
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.

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We tried a specialist, but she asked to quit.
well that pretty odd in itself, why wouldnt she want to find out if that is a reason for the miscarriages that can be put right
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Old 13th August 2015, 09:38 PM   #75
Jaxon
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.

She's had, and still has, trouble dealing with it, for lack of a better word. She was getting frustrated, started to cry one night and said she didn't think they'd help, could we please stop. I told her if that's what she wanted, but if she wants to change her mind later, then we'll continue.
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