Husband wants me to sleep with a stranger. Please help!

[gg27030]

After 4 years of a happy marriage my husband recently confessed that his ultimate desire is for me to have sex with another person. He wants this person to be a stranger that I hit on at the grocery store or meet randomly or online. I have always prided myself on being a good and faithful wife and am disgusted at this thought. It is all he wants. He has become obsessed with it and it is basically all we talk about. I have told him that I don't want this and suggested therapy but he just keeps obsessing on this fantasy.

Hello gg27030,

Not sure if I'm qualified to help, I am new here and going through tough times myself but if my response might help you then I'm pleased to offer it.

In my humble opinion.........
I believe that sexual fantasies like this should always remain just that - fantasies. If this is what he is thinking about then he should keep it to himself. He should never even suggest that you to do something like this as it is clearly against your standards. And it is never a good idea to bring in a third person.

If the bedroom activity has become a bit routine he may be trying to bring in some fantasies to compensate. Fantasies are not a bad thing but when brough into reality then they will lose their thrill and the problems will begin.

Maybe you could suggest some new things to try which could suprise him in that department and take his mind off this obsession.

JE

[chosen]

I agree with JE except that I would go one step further and say that it is never ok to have sexual fantasies that are not between just us and our spouses. We all have a choice what to think about and what not to think about. Dont go there with this, it will only bring heartache, severe emotional complications, and probably the destruction of the marriage. Also he would be putting you at risk from STD's. If you were me, I would tell him one last time that you will never do this and ask him not to ask you again. It is his choice what to fantasise about, and he can choose to think about things that the two of you can do.