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Old 20th August 2013, 04:56 PM   #76
toellandback
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Re: Husband has left!

Good for you. Just don't get drunk again lol never drink and txt
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Old 20th August 2013, 05:49 PM   #77
Puglove
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Re: Husband has left!

I just text him to say not to phone me tonight as I'm putting too much pressure on him to talk to me and its not fair, and I will leave it at that. I would say that's fair as while we do need to talk me badgering him to talk when he doesn't want to us defeats the point! I know I mean well but it's not how he sees it.
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Old 20th August 2013, 06:01 PM   #78
toellandback
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Re: Husband has left!

Yeah , absolutely right. I'm having a quiet beer with family and friends right this moment. I'm thinking of her but I'm not txting her. Pointless. If my wife wants me or needs me she knows where I am. Enjoy your week , as best as you can. Don't contact him. Concentrate on you.
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Old 20th August 2013, 06:32 PM   #79
Puglove
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Re: Husband has left!

Just looking at some pictures. I genuinely think he does miss me but.. I'm really hurting and I hope he is too..not in a horrible way but he's only been gone 8 weeks and we have been talking all that time and have seen each other so I would like to think he would at least miss me!! Especially with his tears last week
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Old 20th August 2013, 06:53 PM   #80
Raymond
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Re: Husband has left!

You must watch the pressuring and allow him to come back because he wants to. I have a feeling that he puts things out of his mind which he should deal with. Could be the effect of drinking possibly. I still think you should try and ignore him personally.
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Old 20th August 2013, 06:53 PM   #81
toellandback
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Re: Husband has left!

I'm thinking something puglove. They will only really miss us when we are gone. At this time they know we are here. How can you miss something when it never truely left.
I feel as you do, I write on your thread because I see in your story everything I see in mine.
I'm imagining all sorts , its akin to trying to read tea leaves. But we CANNOT make them be with us. It's totally up to them now. We need to find ways to deal with this , that's why we seek support here. It's good to talk
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Old 20th August 2013, 07:04 PM   #82
Puglove
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Re: Husband has left!

I'm very glad I found this forum and I am having therapy. I am very much a "talker" where as he isn't. If anything I talk to much and go on and on. But you are right. We have to leave them alone for them to miss us. My husband is living it up at his parents, going out whenever he want etc. he will miss me eventually if I'm strong enough to let him be and let him get whatever he needs to get out of his system
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Old 20th August 2013, 10:33 PM   #83
Puglove
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Re: Husband has left!

See I'm already getting the urge to text him something cute or nice as that's what I have always done!! Even though I know ignoring him is my best recipe for success i am panicking he will forget me! In also worried he will actually see a solicitor tomorrow even though it seems to be a thing he says every time he see's me face to face and I try talking to him "I'm seeing a solicitor on Wednesday!" Never says a time or date or which solicitor!

I just...feel I've had the worst time of it all, he has left me, in the one who is all alone yet I feel guilty! I get upset as my dad died in the knowledge I was happy with a man who loves me... A man who seems to struggle with me showing any form of emotion, who just runs away from anything difficult or when he isn't getting his own way! That's how I feel right now...feeling a but low
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Old 20th August 2013, 10:44 PM   #84
toellandback
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Re: Husband has left!

Sorry to see your hurting. Though reminds me we are never alone. I always want to txt , call , anything. But it will lead to self destruction I fear. I cannot understand how my wife is feeling. But until she changes her mind of her own free will I know there is nothing to do but wait and hope. You never said if you have support with you , close by
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Old 21st August 2013, 07:24 AM   #85
Puglove
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Re: Husband has left!

I'm scared he may actually be seeing a solicitor today..I just can't see why he feels the need to Do this???
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Old 21st August 2013, 07:34 AM   #86
Puglove
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Re: Husband has left!

I have my friends and family. But to me honest it's my problem not theirs!
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Old 21st August 2013, 12:24 PM   #87
toellandback
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Re: Husband has left!

Why do you think he may see a solicitor today ? Did he say he would ? Has he not said this before ? It appears from here he knows the dread you feel when the S word is mentioned. So what if he does, it won't really change anything in the short term will it. Wether or not he sees a solicitor will not change how HE feels about your relationship, I would say that at this point he has little to gain from it. He already knows he is in control, he doesn't need to pay anyone else to confirm it
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Old 21st August 2013, 01:10 PM   #88
Puglove
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Re: Husband has left!

I feel now that while he may be showing anger towards me that anger maybe at himself, I think he is surprised how emotional this all is, his he actually misses me. I think he thought doing this would make him "happy" because it is "what he thought he wanted" and it hasn't
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Old 21st August 2013, 05:40 PM   #89
Puglove
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Re: Husband has left!

He emailed me today as he still wants to talk about divorce and the house etc. he hopes it can be amicable and less expensive (!) told him I didn't want to meet this Saturday. Will meet him on the first as I need time and space. So I guess that is it. For whatever reason he will not come back
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Old 21st August 2013, 06:37 PM   #90
Puglove
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Re: Husband has left!

I feel destroyed. Genuinely destroyed. He wants to come and get more stuff, he's going to stop paying the bills, but not the mortgage. I literally have done everything
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