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Old 28th October 2004, 03:50 PM   #1
Romancer
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Husband and lingerie catalogs

I found my wonderful adoring Christian husband looking at the lingerie ads in the inserts in newspapers. I confronted him and he told me he'd only looked at one page. I know that isn't true and said so, yet he continued to say he didn't remember seeing any others in all the five years we've been married.

I'm not even sure what i'm most upset about--his lying or his looking! Sure, it's not hardcore porn but it is looking at other women's nearly naked bodies. I absolutely won't stand for that any more than he'd like it if I showed off my body to other men! But he surely can't expect me to believe this hasn't been going on since we got married? Yet that is what he wants me to think! I'm having trouble trusting him because of this lie.

How can I get him to be more open and honest?

What would you do?

Autumn
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Old 29th October 2004, 02:49 PM   #2
A FRIEND
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Re: Husband and lingerie catalogs

Autumn,
I know that you are feeling bad right now. But I advice that you take a step backwards and remember that this is your christian adoring husband. The basis of your trust and confidence is the common faith you both share in the Lord. Even if he had looked at those pages with a less than an honourable intent. Will you condemn him so hard. I'll rather think it calls for you to lovingly support him in prayer.
Dont let this spoil what I suspect is an otherwise beautiful relationship. May God grant you wisdom to put this behind and move forward to enjoy your marriage.

Your friend inChrist.
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Old 7th May 2013, 12:46 PM   #3
Raymond
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Re: Husband and lingerie catalogs

I would disagree here. Looking at nearly naked women is a kind of mental adultery. Why does any wife have to undestand that? It's not on in my opinion. change your scedule is the answer and find bedroom time.
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Old 13th May 2013, 05:02 AM   #4
1aokgal
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Re: Husband and lingerie catalogs

If I were the wife who noticed my husband looked at a lingerie catalog, I would not jump to hasty conclusions. If a man is alive..he might look! Rather, I would go buy some lingerie and give him a close-up and personal look at how nice and feminine this nightwear looks on his wife. Maybe he considered to buy a pretty gift set for a birthday or special occasion for his wife?

If flannel nightgowns are your style, it is no wonder he might look at appealing and sensual nightwear! Pretty lingerie can bring added appeal to your bedroom life. Perhaps you ask him what style lingerie he would like to see on you.

Hopefully, this husband wasn't thinking how the lingerie sets might look on him (only kidding here.) I hear stories along that line sometimes!

Last edited by 1aokgal; 14th May 2013 at 12:16 AM.
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Old 20th May 2013, 04:20 AM   #5
chosen
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Re: Husband and lingerie catalogs

Quote:
Originally Posted by 1aokgal View Post
If I were the wife who noticed my husband looked at a lingerie catalog, I would not jump to hasty conclusions. If a man is alive..he might look! Rather, I would go buy some lingerie and give him a close-up and personal look at how nice and feminine this nightwear looks on his wife. Maybe he considered to buy a pretty gift set for a birthday or special occasion for his wife?

If flannel nightgowns are your style, it is no wonder he might look at appealing and sensual nightwear! Pretty lingerie can bring added appeal to your bedroom life. Perhaps you ask him what style lingerie he would like to see on you.

Hopefully, this husband wasn't thinking how the lingerie sets might look on him (only kidding here.) I hear stories along that line sometimes!
Not all men will look at these, as its not helpful or respectful to his wife for a husband to do this. If he does, then I don't think that his wife wearing them will stop him doing so.
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Old 22nd May 2013, 02:40 AM   #6
1aokgal
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Re: Husband and lingerie catalogs

Lingerie ad was an enclosure with the daily newspaper. I guess one would look at the garbage that comes with a daily before we toss it out. If it came in the newspaper, it was more like Sears catalog page, than any heavy skin magazine.

It doesn't sound like he hordes girly lingerie catalogs in a night table! This sounds like a nothing event that happened and was over. I wouldn't make a big deal out of that 2 minutes out of ones life. There was no serious intent and he did not bring it into the home. I would not turn a non-event issue into an unpleasant incident to ruin a day or create hard feelings.

Last edited by 1aokgal; 23rd May 2013 at 01:50 AM.
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Old 24th November 2014, 08:49 PM   #7
DogLover2014
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Re: Husband and lingerie catalogs

It's easily done though as those sorts of pictures are everywhere and it's hard to not look. I'm not making excuses but he is male and he could have just looked without thinking. I wouldn't worry about it too much.
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Old 9th March 2015, 09:17 AM   #8
sambrooklands
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Re: Husband and lingerie catalogs

Might sound harsh, but remember he is human, and not dead. This is hardly what you might call hard core porn and tbh he is only doing what most other men do, subconciously or otherwise. As a an ex- public Christian Brothers pupil, i can assure you that any man that denies this is a liar.
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Old 9th March 2015, 09:32 AM   #9
Raymond
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Re: Husband and lingerie catalogs

We know we all have a sexual drive but what you do with it is important. Purposely looking at lingerie catalogues could lead to other things and possibly porn. I think it is wise to direct it into marriage as it is a powerful thing which could cost one if they are not careful.
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Old 14th March 2015, 11:02 PM   #10
chosen
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Re: Husband and lingerie catalogs

Sam no one is saying that we dont have attractions or desires, but we can chose what to do with them. We can choose to look at pictures of semi naked or naked people of the opposite sex or we can chose not to. No we cant avoid seeing things sometimes, but we can choose to look away and not stare. I see it as disrespectful to our spouses to do that.
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Old 29th January 2016, 07:44 AM   #11
Eunice Pierson
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Re: Husband and lingerie catalogs

I don't understand but this is not an issue at all. Your husband is just being a man.
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Old 29th January 2016, 11:13 AM   #12
Raymond
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Re: Husband and lingerie catalogs

As a man I know that one thing can lead to another. Each one must know his own mind. There are lots of pretty girls around but that could easily switch to lust depending on how they dress and be a pathway to something else if I am not careful. Pornography is a massive problem in our day and features in over 50% of divorces. One cannot let their sexual drive flow all over the place. As Chosen says it would be highly disrespectul to our spouses.
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Old 29th January 2016, 07:00 PM   #13
chosen
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Re: Husband and lingerie catalogs

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eunice Pierson View Post
I don't understand but this is not an issue at all. Your husband is just being a man.
I have heard that said about men who look at porn. Its not true. Men dont have to look at these things, they can chose not to. I have a husband who never looks at porn or semi naked women. if an ad comes on TV that is like that, he closes his eyes, he has always done that since a young adult. He choses not to. I love him for it, it makes me feel special and respected.
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