HUSBAND KEEPS ABANDONING ME! &i hate his friend! am i being too demanding/sensitive?
To cut a long story short.. Been married 1 and a half years. things have been rosy... However my hubby has a friend who is a self proclaimed sociopath (feeds off others' misery. no conscience etc) who has stolen off him several times over the past few years.. I read messages (first and only time i have eevr done this as i was so suspicious) to and from my husband to him where he was encouraging my husband to leave me 'sooner rather than later' and my husband was responding 'when i win the lottery i'll get a replacement!' and other awful things. this was 6 months ago. he says it was lad banter.. anyway i forgave.. and a month ago he went out with this friend. he didn't come home for 24 hours, he read my messages (i got read notifications) and chose to ignore, he ignored all my calls for 24 hours, me and his mum were so worried we rang the police. he had been drinking and he doesn't drink normally.. i went out of my mind, i couldnt forgive him, the worst trigger in the world to me is being ignored or feeling abandoned to coin a phrase. it really effects me when he doesnt contact me back and he knows that... 24 hours and sleeping out is really dodgy. so we went to counselling, he promised he would never do it again... skip two weeks down the line. he went on a clinical trial in london. instead of coming home to me he said down the phone ' I WILL BE GOING OUT AND I WILL BE SLEEPING OUT AND I AM PUTTING MY FOOT DOWN AS I AM GOING WITH MY BEST FRIEND AND ITS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU, AND I WILL BE TURNING MY PHONE OFF SO YOU CANT RUIN IT FOR ME!!' i was in BITS! and when i started crying he said ' youre emotionally manipulating me' like he'd been brainwashed by this guy. i know it sounds crazy but jees you should see the grip he has over him. I am needy yes, i am clingy maybe yes, this is the way i love and yes maybe i am controlling?? But i dont stop him going out in general but i have an issue with this friend in particular and the way my husband has started to treat me- again using the thing that triggers me most as a threat. i had to kick him out, i havent seen him for 3 weeks now. we have had minimal contact i have been out when he has picked up his stuff i am just so hurt and have been in absolute bits over this. am i just being overly sensitive or would any of you feel like this also- it feels dangerous to depend on him anymore as he is just going to hurt me again and again?? his mum thinks im over reacting but she is so laid back shes sideways.. i just dont know what to do or where to go from here we are supposed to be meeting up next week but i am scared he will have cheated on me... also i am not happy about him hanging out with this friend atall anymore but it isnt really my choice i know... what would you do or feel? any help gratefully recieved plaese thanks xx
Last edited by mirry; 20th December 2015 at 01:00 AM.
Reason: better title needed
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