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Old 20th September 2011, 05:36 PM   #1
lovingfatherandhusband
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Wife wants "space" and is moving out

Hi,
I'm new here. To give a little background on everything I'll start with when my wife and I met. We met 7-7-07 (lucky huh?), and we have been married for 2 years coming this monday (9/26). Every since the beginning i have told her that i am not an affectionate guy... she understood and accepted it. We had a great sex life, but as expected it tapered off after we got married. She always gave me everything, love, affection, head rubs, back rubs, everything... i didn't do nearly as much for her. I knew she deserved more, but i just wasn't that guy and she knew it. After our first year of marriage we decided we wanted to adopt a baby, because I can't have them. We have a 5 month old baby girl who i adore so ridiculously much. she is my life and that is partially why i am so tore up about this situation. Just before my wife went back to work she begged and cried and pleaded me not to make her go back, she wanted to be a stay at home mom and i told her we just couldn't afford it because we wanted to adopt more kids and it isn't cheap. Well just before she started back an opportunity for a promotion arose and i made her apply for it because i knew how much she used to want to move up. She ended up getting it... 2 months ago is when she got the promotion. Since then she has been consumed with work (rightfully so because she is learning now and the boss), but we never see each other and when we did i had a bad attitude. I admit i have not been that great... last week she told me she couldn't take it anymore because she has been depressed and it is causing her heart to hurt. She has a heart condition... and added stress makes it very difficult on her (pace maker). Of course when she told me this, i freaked out and tried to go over the top and make it instantly better by giving her everything she wanted and more... she got irritated with this because she said this was being fake. She told me to just give her space... which i couldn't emotionally do i tried and tried but kept failing. all week i was smothering her and i was on an emotional rollercoaster. I at one point got mad at her because our sex life was nothing like it used to be(non existant). On top of that this past friday i checked our bank account and noticed she had been putting $300 extra into her account so i freaked out and checked her account. I had to change the password to see it, but i didn't find anything (thankfully). Whenever saturday and sunday came around she agreed to go to marriage counseling with me... sunday night she found out i changed her password. That pushed her over the edge... monday night she told me she wasn't going to counseling and she was moving out. That i hurt her too much.... WHAT DO I DO??!! I don't want to lose her not just because our baby girl, but because i love her so much and see now what i need to do to fix it. In other's experiences is there hope of us making it work still? Even if she can't see that i'm taking the steps to change my ways? I am still going to go to counseling and she knows that. Any advice is greatly appreciated.
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