Dear SadTom
I am sure you want to be over this stage as quickly as possible, but your wife has obviously been hurting and longing for things to improve for some time, so you will need to be patient.
She has been
watching over the emotional health of you relationship for some time and she is probably weary of doing this. She knows she loves and cares for you deep down but can't find the excitment and romance that you want at the moment.
Patience and consistency are probably the things that will impress her most. Since you are already separated for a while, you might like to talk to her about some boundaries to that temporary separation. Have a look at this article on
managed separation, which may help you to agree those boundaries and identify the purpose of what you are agreeing to. Don't just focus on an end date but try and focus on constructive things you can do during it, like you having a meal together as you have already done.
I wish you all the best in sorting yourself out and drawing her back to you. She obviously loves you, but let her choose
how she shows that love at the moment and find ways to show her that you love her and are committed to the changes you have made.
Liz