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Old 27th February 2008, 07:18 PM   #1
hurt and confused
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asking for your prayers

Hello,

My wife and i are currently going to our church through an enrich program to try and save our 12 year marriage. Through this program i realized that a self esteem issue is part of the reasons that have caused us to have the problems that we are experiencing. The biggest one being her having an affair. I do not believe that she is completely convinced that this other man is worth leaving our marriage for, because she has not gone yet. I ask for your prayers to help her find the answers that she is looking for, to give me the wisdom to say and do the right things to fill the void she is feeling, and to give me the strength to understand and be able to forgive her for the actions that have occured. I also ask that you could say a prayer for our 2 children who are the ones that are ultimately getting hurt the worst through this situation. Thank you!!
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Old 28th February 2008, 11:52 AM   #2
Micou
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Re: asking for your prayers

I really feel your pain. Just wanted to let you know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. So many people in so much pain . . .
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Old 28th February 2008, 02:39 PM   #3
hurt and confused
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Re: asking for your prayers

Thank you so much for your reply. We really need all the prayers that we can get right now. She is just soooo confused and making some terrible decisions that are going to affect our entire family for the rest of our lives.
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Old 28th February 2008, 03:07 PM   #4
Micou
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Re: asking for your prayers

I am so sorry to hear that. I too am in a lot of pain right now and I can fully respect the hell on earth that you are going through.

We have a chapel where I work and we had a mass today. I offered up prayers for you and your family and for everyone who is suffering from heartache in one form or another. God is great.

I am just holding on for dear life right now. Such a horrible, horrible experience that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.
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Old 28th February 2008, 05:31 PM   #5
hurt and confused
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Re: asking for your prayers

You will be in my prayers as well. I agree that i would not wish this on my worst enemy either. I don't really understand why this is happening and what good will come out of it if any. I try to remain positive that God is using this experience to teach. I just really hope that some time soon i will get it so i can stop hurting.
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Old 28th February 2008, 05:40 PM   #6
Micou
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Re: asking for your prayers

I understand how you feel. Today has been a particularly bad day for me as I find that I have been unable to concentrate on any of my work and I am making silly mistakes. I keep praying that this dark, heavy, oppressive veil will soon lift off me and I can breathe again. I am trying so hard to smile and be happy, but there is a heavy rock that sits on my heart and won't let me feel any happiness.

I too am hoping that there is a lesson in this and that soon it will all become clear and everything will be alright. It's so hard to try and act like you're fine when you are dying inside!

Keep the faith. God is great.
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Old 28th February 2008, 06:03 PM   #7
hurt and confused
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Re: asking for your prayers

You just summed up my day perfectly. I hope for you that you can find peace within yourself soon. God is great!! He will show you the way. Keep the faith.
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Old 29th February 2008, 04:17 PM   #8
Micou
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Re: asking for your prayers

How r you doing? How was today?
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Old 29th February 2008, 04:20 PM   #9
hurt and confused
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Re: asking for your prayers

Thank you to everyone for your prayers. I really believe that the only way that there is a chance for us to make this situation better is for all of us to bring Christ into our lives. I also believe that this was the key element that had been missing from our family. I just ask that you keep praying for all of us to see and accept the guidance that God is giving us and to be able to follow the path that he is trying to lead us down. I ask that you also pray for my wife to be able to really open up her heart and to be able to see the path of destruction she is currently on and the strength to be able to trust the signs and turn her life around so she can truly find the happiness that she is looking for.
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Old 2nd March 2008, 09:49 AM   #10
Raymond
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Re: asking for your prayers

You can't go wrong by following Christ. He is an expert in sorting messes out. He may do it direct or He may use others. We have to be open to both.

Raymond
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Old 6th March 2008, 07:17 PM   #11
hurt and confused
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Re: asking for your prayers

I agree. I am still trying to believe that through prayer and the church classes that there might be some hope. Unfortunately i believe that my wife has gotten herself in so deep that she can not or does not want to back out. It has just become lie after lie. She tells me she wants to try to make things work and then turns around and calls the other guy at the very first opportunity. I do think that God has given me the strength by letting me hold on for this long, but i am at the end of my rope and have to do what is right for me and the kids. I can not let her keep ruining our lives and playing this double life. I still ask for all the prayers we can get to help us through this mess that we have to deal with and the wisdom to be able to find the right things to help the kids.
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Old 6th March 2008, 11:29 PM   #12
clockwork orange
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Re: asking for your prayers

If it helps any - I am a wife who had an affair, more emotional than anything else but no less damaging to our marriage. My H has been quite truly amazing. He has, through patience, prayer and incredible strength of character, been able to wait it out. God needed my heart broken before He could reach me and this is what eventually happened. My H has forgiven me and supported me in ways I could not imagine possible, all through the amazing grace of our God. We are now working through a marriage enrichment course and learning to communicate better. A long way to go but oh so worth the effort.

I guess what I'm saying is don't give up on your W yet, there is always hope.
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Old 7th March 2008, 09:00 AM   #13
Raymond
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Re: asking for your prayers

That's fantastic clockwork.

Raymond
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Old 7th March 2008, 04:01 PM   #14
hurt and confused
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Re: asking for your prayers

Thank you for the reassurance clockwork. We are currently going to marriage enrichment classes at the church. Last night is when she was told that she needed to completly give him up through this program if she wanted to try and make it work. She agreed that she would, but i also heard lies while she was discussing him last night. I would like to truly believe that she is going to give him up to try and make this work, but after only seeing emotion out of her when she thought about giving him up for only one month, it is awfully hard to do. The toughest part is that for right now i have to pretend that i have no feelings and have to be available to understand that she is going through a tough time trying to give up another man. I do understand that if she is not in this relationship there is nothing for me to work on anyways. I really need to trust the power of God that he has given her the strength to get this far and that he will continue to give her the strength to be able to fight through these feelings and see that her family is worth saving and can give her all the fulfillment her heart desires and is missing right now.
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Old 7th March 2008, 06:09 PM   #15
Raymond
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Re: asking for your prayers

The right path is obvious. God will give her the strength if she wants to make the right decision. Feelings can lead you astray if you go by them. Right decisions give you the right feelings in time. I hope she learns from this incident.

Raymond
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