Site Areas
Wedding Centre
Health Club
Marriage Clinic
Chapel
University
Citizen's Centre
Coffee Shop
Admin Centre
Contents
Articles
Books
CDs / Videos
Tips
Services
Resources
Forums
Membership
Contact Us
Site map
Link to Us
|
|
|
1st September 2015, 10:11 AM
|
#121
|
Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,076
|
Re: And yet another "I love you but not in love with you" story
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lindentree1
It's difficult sometimes to reconcile the past to what is now the future. Sometimes things happen that we did not see coming. It's takes awhile for your mind to adjust to what now is. Especially when it doesn't make sense to us.
I also agree that an ultimatum may not be the best idea right now. If she is in deep with the other woman, your ultimatum may drive her further away from you.
|
I agree with LDT, ultimatums are not a good idea in your current position, the balance of power currently lies with her and sadly not you as it was her that has left the marriage and as with NDY crazy wife she is blinded by and full steam ahead with her A, just bide your time until you are in a stronger position before laying down the law, now is not the time mate.
|
|
|
1st September 2015, 10:21 AM
|
#122
|
Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,794
|
Re: And yet another "I love you but not in love with you" story
I guess it depends on whether he even wants to wait till her affair looses its excitement. He may not want to be her plan b. There is no way that I would wait around if my husband had left me for another person just in case their affair looses its appeal, and he had no where else to go. The fact that she has left him for her shows she has made her decision in my opinion.
|
|
|
1st September 2015, 10:48 AM
|
#123
|
Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,076
|
Re: And yet another "I love you but not in love with you" story
Quote:
Originally Posted by chosen
I guess it depends on whether he even wants to wait till her affair looses its excitement. He may not want to be her plan b. There is no way that I would wait around if my husband had left me for another person just in case their affair looses its appeal, and he had no where else to go. The fact that she has left him for her shows she has made her decision in my opinion.
|
Just thinking about it I don't know which is worse, your wife leaving for another man or to be with a woman, neither is a great scenario, I think our male pride probably says being rejected for another woman is marginally worse but neither scenario is very nice, what is going on out there with all these WAS and affairs, it's almost as if nothing has any permanence any more, the stability and bedrock of happy and solid marriages seems to be a thing of the past these days.
Just look at that infidelity website, what kind of low life would sign up for that filth ?, and people are making money out of infidelity, it's really disgusting, you all know me by now and I am no bible bashing puritan, but the lack of morals in modern life honestly shocks and sickens me, I know I'm no angel far from it at times, but I know the difference between right and wrong, and just so much about modern living is wrong, you made the point Chosen some months ago about how selfish people are and so self obsessed and self absorbed with their selfies and me me me look at me attitudes, and your spot on that is exactly what people are doing and it's all so very wrong in almost every respect.
|
|
|
1st September 2015, 01:19 PM
|
#124
|
Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,794
|
Re: And yet another "I love you but not in love with you" story
Quote:
Originally Posted by ralfgarnett
Just thinking about it I don't know which is worse, your wife leaving for another man or to be with a woman, neither is a great scenario, I think our male pride probably says being rejected for another woman is marginally worse but neither scenario is very nice, what is going on out there with all these WAS and affairs, it's almost as if nothing has any permanence any more, the stability and bedrock of happy and solid marriages seems to be a thing of the past these days.
Just look at that infidelity website, what kind of low life would sign up for that filth ?, and people are making money out of infidelity, it's really disgusting, you all know me by now and I am no bible bashing puritan, but the lack of morals in modern life honestly shocks and sickens me, I know I'm no angel far from it at times, but I know the difference between right and wrong, and just so much about modern living is wrong, you made the point Chosen some months ago about how selfish people are and so self obsessed and self absorbed with their selfies and me me me look at me attitudes, and your spot on that is exactly what people are doing and it's all so very wrong in almost every respect.
|
Yes its all about me me me and what 'I' want. No regard for spouses or children or anyone else. I agree, moral values are rock bottom and anything goes it seems.
I am so glad that the hackers exposed all those adulterers, 37 million worldwide, and that was just one site. Its horrific. I am glad that all the poor partners who were being cheated on now know what sort of low life they are with.
|
|
|
1st September 2015, 01:54 PM
|
#125
|
Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,076
|
Re: And yet another "I love you but not in love with you" story
Quote:
Originally Posted by chosen
Yes its all about me me me and what 'I' want. No regard for spouses or children or anyone else. I agree, moral values are rock bottom and anything goes it seems.
I am so glad that the hackers exposed all those adulterers, 37 million worldwide, and that was just one site. Its horrific. I am glad that all the poor partners who were being cheated on now know what sort of low life they are with.
|
Horrible disgusting cheating scum bags, I feel very sorry for all those poor partners that have suffered this level of humiliation, yes they know the truth but they must be absolutely devastated through no fault of their own, I hate cheaters in any walk of life, each and every one of them deserves everything that they have coming to them.
|
|
|
1st September 2015, 04:45 PM
|
#126
|
Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,794
|
Re: And yet another "I love you but not in love with you" story
Quote:
Originally Posted by ralfgarnett
Horrible disgusting cheating scum bags, I feel very sorry for all those poor partners that have suffered this level of humiliation, yes they know the truth but they must be absolutely devastated through no fault of their own, I hate cheaters in any walk of life, each and every one of them deserves everything that they have coming to them.
|
yes but I would rather know than not know.
|
|
|
4th September 2015, 01:39 PM
|
#127
|
Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 6
|
Re: And yet another "I love you but not in love with you" story
I think you ought to really examine your feelings. You are the one being cheated on, you are the one who's being walked all over and she needs time to think things over? My friend, I understand your love and your emotions, but don't lose yourself and you're self-respect in all this. She's just trying this new life to see if things work out for her. If not, she can come back to you. How convenient is that. And she is being so confident in this move because you are being weak and vulnerable now. Get a grip. You should be the one to think things over and decide if you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone who can just leave you like that. Yes, it's time for a relaity check. Once you are able to see things clearly, you will call a lawyer and know what needs to be done.
|
|
|
6th September 2015, 05:32 PM
|
#128
|
Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,409
|
Re: And yet another "I love you but not in love with you" story
My thoughts as well Sylvia.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raymond
My thought is how long do you give it before she snaps out of it? I would class it as adultery even though it is a woman. You obviously have the right to divorce her on the spot but you want to wait. I don't think you can give her more than a year. The danger is that once she has been exposed to lesbianism it will affect her in a deep way sexually. My thought is to be straight. Her or you? You cannot share her with another woman. Besides an ultimatum will make her think.
|
|
|
|
29th September 2015, 05:16 AM
|
#129
|
Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 35
|
Re: And yet another "I love you but not in love with you" story
Hey all,
Long time no forums...LOL.
Just a note to say I'm still around....just been heads down on work stuff. My situation is unchanged.....still married but separated.
I've had several long talks with the wife. She came down off her high horse and has told me how sorry she was for the way all was handled and that she definitely went about this all wrong. She feels she needs to be on this new path of hers...is not oblivious to the fact we had 20 years together but she just feels like she needs to do something different. At 41 years old...she felt like she was bored with the current lifestyle we had going.
Me? I'm past all the crying and weeping and wishing it was all undone somehow. Moved on. I'm still waiting for her to file the divorce...she is the one wanting the new life....well she has to do all the legwork in my book. First step was to tell me she wanted out and then 2nd step was her moving out. Third step needs to be filing. Does not matter to me when...at least for now I have no requirements myself to be legally "single" so I'm letting it ride.
....but man do I feel better inside now and actually each day I get a little more accustomed to life with my own new heading.
Chin up for others as well....best advice I can give (and I know it is hard) is to definitely GAL and move forward. Do not get bogged down in the quicksand of "what if's" and "why's".... you will never get all the answers and you will never feel like this was OK. Just chalk it up to the "unexplained" like the Bermuda Triangle and let it go. FIND THAT NEW HOBBY and embrace it. Find two new hobbies !!!
L8rz!
|
|
|
29th September 2015, 10:41 AM
|
#130
|
Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,409
|
Re: And yet another "I love you but not in love with you" story
The main thing you have done is to accept that it is over through no fault of your own. She may well regret it down the line but you cannot wait. She is in adultery and has chosen her path. I am glad you are feeling better and hope you will meet someone nice and also straight down the road.
|
|
|
Thread Tools |
|
Display Modes |
Linear Mode
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
All times are GMT +1. The time now is 09:01 PM.
|
|