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Old 14th April 2009, 09:59 PM   #271
dave123
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Re: My wife has gone

Well i'm glad to say today was a really good day, i set an early alarm and cracked on with my degree work and am now nearly up to date!! Woo hoo...

Then i went a bit mad at the shops and bought the little man lots of little presents for his birthday, he still doesn't really get the 'big' one off thing and he was delighted with them all. Even the new pants...! I got some friends round with their kids and we had a proper little tea party with bbq and Spider-man birthday cake, it was all great. I'm really grateful for my friends but they were also there because i'd made the effort, so hoping for a positive outcome is not enough, i have to make them happen (as much as i can).

Essay will be finished tonight, motorbike sorted tomorrow, and 2 more days off with the little man. I'm not sure when the next down will be but i know i can get through it.

Thanks for the support guys, it's a real blessing.

Dave
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Old 14th April 2009, 10:07 PM   #272
JWD
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Re: My wife has gone

That's great to hear. The next downer, remember and upper always follows. Next time you feel doen, shut your eyes for one minute and smile. It really works, it's impossible to feel down when smiling properly. Just think of your wee boy all happy like today and ypour mood will shift.

I'm really going nuts for this sevret book LOL
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Old 20th April 2009, 12:42 AM   #273
dave123
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Re: My wife has gone

Hi,

Thought i'd but a bit of an update on here! Motorbike is well and truly up and running now and horizons are expanding all the time. New friends, new activities are all helping me to move on bit by bit!

Had my son's 3 yr old birthday party today (the official party) and it went really well. I spent all morning worrying it'd be bad but i had a really good time. I guess i should have a more positive attitude from the outset! Saves on stress.

2 days off now with the wee man, so really looking forward to it. I have been reading some posts where Dad's aren't interested and it breaks my heart to imagine me ever like that with H.

After that i am back to work but have lots of other plans too! Poker night, reunion for an old nightclub night, couple of martial arts classes and a few ride outs on the bike! Phew, just typing it knackers me out...!

I hope all is well with all, and that the return to normality after the Easter goes OK.

Take care of number 1,

Dave
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Old 20th April 2009, 12:54 AM   #274
JWD
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Re: My wife has gone

Sounds fab dave, and positive attitude is the key. Attracts more positive people into your life and you see more positive things happen. If you see and feel negative you then look for negative and and it appears.
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Old 22nd April 2009, 09:00 AM   #275
Hilary
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Re: My wife has gone

It is good to see that you have positive things coming into your life Dave. Its a long journey.

Go well
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Old 22nd April 2009, 05:17 PM   #276
RayCub
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Re: My wife has gone

Hey Dave,

STILL puts a smile on my face when I read about how much you're in love with your "wee man". It breaks my heart about those other so-called Dads, especially since my H has turned into one of them, which I never thought even remotely possible. I always thought my girls had the best father ever...I was so wrong, and unfortunately, they will be the ones to suffer the most from his selfish behaviour.

Keep doing what you're doing, Dave...you're a FAB DAD!
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Old 22nd April 2009, 10:29 PM   #277
dave123
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Re: My wife has gone

Thanks guys i really appreciate the posts... and the compliments!

I used to think life was busy and stressed, and now i realise it was just stressed and unhappy! Busy is great, and meeting lots of new people. Now i'll give you that i don't like most of them but sooner or later it's gonna click with new friends or with some lucky young lady...!

Hope everyone is doing good.

Take care,

Dave
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Old 23rd April 2009, 10:42 PM   #278
yogamad
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Re: My wife has gone

You always sound so positive Dave, you never seem stressed or angry, you just seem like you're in control of your life now and you're making the most of every day. Glad you enjoyed your son's b'day. I wish my boys were that age and I could do it all over again.
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Old 28th April 2009, 12:59 AM   #279
dave123
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Re: My wife has gone

Hello,

Had a real up and down day today!

I had my son which was cool and we had lots of fun and a chilled out day.

This evening i had a meeting with the ex at my house to go through some old stuff that she wanted to keep. She got quite upset (naturally) going through baby clothes etc and i tried to be as supportive as possible.

We had also arranged to have a chat about some things and it didn't really go well. She kept referring to the old me and why now that i was different things should change. It was very frustrating that she doesn't seem to accept i've changed, but that obviously the changes she has made i have no choice but to accept. We didn't get through nearly any of it before her lift came to pick her up, so we have to continue it tomorrow after i've dropped my son off. What joy. Why do i want to talk to someone who judges me? It needs doing though so i guess it's going to be a test of 'new Dave' as to how i deal with it! I guess i am pre-emptively feeling sorry for whoever i spar with at Keysi tomorrow. ha ha!

The rest of the week looks to be improving though, great day planned with my son tomorrow, then lots of adult fun for the rest of the week (despite work).

I hope you're all doing good, taking care of number one,

Dave
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Old 28th April 2009, 11:18 PM   #280
yogamad
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Re: My wife has gone

She sounds a bit selfish to me. She was the one who left but it seems to me as if you're coping better than she is about being alone. She wasn't happy with the old Dave so she has no say really what the new Dave does or feels. Hope it went better today.
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Old 1st May 2009, 01:05 AM   #281
dave123
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Re: My wife has gone

Well the second chat was as uncomfortable as the first and felt quite 'accusatory' on both sides. I guess it's natural and it will be something we either get used to or better at dealing with over time....

The next day we exchanged emails and chatted better than we have for some time so i guess we're both learning about communication, a little late, but we have to do it for our Son's sake.

Rest of the week since has been good, footie was bad (don't ask) but i was out tonight for a re-union of sorts with people from my Relate course and have not come home this happy from a night out for genuinely as long as i can remember. Comedy night was brilliant, and company of people who are all really great in their own way AND understand how 'it' feels was fantastic.

Must sleep, work beckons, and i'm picking my son up this afternoon.

Take care all. Wherever you are, life does get better if you make a positive effort.

Dave
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Old 1st May 2009, 12:58 PM   #282
j92cool
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Re: My wife has gone

Dave123

I am so sorry to read your last post when previously you had been so positive and upbeat. I am sure the ups and downs will continue and I know you will lift above them agian. You have such a great attitude and your love and support for your son warms me. It is nice to know there are dads out there that really care and plan their time around their children. Big hugs hope you feel better tomorrow.
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Old 2nd May 2009, 11:19 AM   #283
georgie
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Re: My wife has gone

Well as uncomfortable as it may have felt, think back a few months - mere discomfort would have seemed like an unatainable dream at that point no doubt! You've made heaps of progress, with your commitment to personal growth you will keep progressing. I wish you all the luck, and hope your communication continues to improve. I am still in the total avoidance phase, have decided that my H can have whatever he wants and we'll do our best to share the kids and be good parents as we can be I hope. The material stuff is not worth stressing about - we could have had millions invested in Lehmans or Northern Rock and be as poor as church mice now without even having left home, so I refuse to get bogged down in fighting over percentages. Sounds like you've made great friends - you only get the friends you deserve so you must have earned a lot of karmic brownie points along the way.
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Old 2nd May 2009, 10:14 PM   #284
JWD
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Re: My wife has gone

Quote:
Originally Posted by georgie View Post
have decided that my H can have whatever he wants and we'll do our best to share the kids and be good parents as we can be I hope. The material stuff is not worth stressing about - we could have had millions invested in Lehmans or Northern Rock and be as poor as church mice now without even having left home, so I refuse to get bogged down in fighting over percentages.
I feel the same georgie, mine can have both the laptops along with his two computers and his iphone thing with internet safe in the knowledge that he really has taken all that he can. The laptop was the only thing from the entire house I want simply because I can't bear the thought of him being able to read all the stuff I've posted here and elsewhere. I don't want any memories happy or sad from this experience and I really will walk away with no item. I'm not going to be a pleb, I'll get what's fair and start afresh. It's just not worth the torment of the injustice. Who knows, maybe he will have a last minute bout of humanity and realise he could buy 100,000 laptops and spare my blushes LOL. Anything is possible.


really hope things improve Dave, I'm positive they will with time. You're doing fab and I agree with the karma, you get back what you give always in many different ways.

Chin up.
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Old 6th May 2009, 11:10 PM   #285
JWD
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Re: My wife has gone

How you getting on Dave?
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