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Old 21st April 2013, 05:27 AM   #16
chosen
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Re: When marriage meets physical disability-Urgent Advice please

Jodonski, do you have a good church? if you do maybe you can go and see the pastor or one of the elders about all this.
Your wife cleary hasnt left her parents emotionally or physically.
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Old 21st April 2013, 10:55 AM   #17
judonski
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Re: When marriage meets physical disability-Urgent Advice please

Thank you Forever.From my background I am very religious and I am usually exactly the sort of christian you described here but right now if I am honest at all , I can tell you that these days I have had to question my faith in God more than ever before.I hate to say this but I am giving up gradually.
People find it hard to understand but trust me I have been praying for devine intervention for as long as I can remember but nothing seem to happen.
I have noted your email and would be in touch but
how do I gain an audience with God.
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Old 21st April 2013, 11:11 AM   #18
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Re: When marriage meets physical disability-Urgent Advice please

Yes chosen,it is a bit complicated we used to attend one here but had to stop after she complained that members "gossip" alot.
Another main problem is that she is not the type that can sit down and have a meaningful conversation.She just wouldn't listen and having absolutely no regards for anyone.
If not for my kids I would have long gone.
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Old 21st April 2013, 11:19 AM   #19
Forever
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Re: When marriage meets physical disability-Urgent Advice please

Well, I can understand (first hand and repeatedly) that when our world is crumbling around us, we think God is sleeping at the helm...or we are too insignificant for Him to care or even take notice of us. But He isn't. That is the time that OUR faith in Him goes through the fires of testing.

This is when Heaven seems silent or like an impenetrable fortress...and it can last a long time...time that can send what you believe in and hope for...the goodness of God, into a downward spiral.

When this happens, I have learned to stand firm on His Goodness, His Love for me (in spite of my small residual faith in Him), His provisions, His Kindness and His Mercy.

I gain an audience personally by intense prayer and fasting...for as long as it takes to know that He hears my impassioned pleas. Now, He can show me that in many many ways...but the idea is that I will know that I have broken through that silence and can stand firm knowing that whatever comes my way is His Will for my life...OR the life of someone who needs Him...such as you do.

I will do this...you just wait on HIM (not on me)...if you "hear" His "voice" in your inner spirit giving you instructions, guidance, direction, comfort or impressing anything significant on you...be assured that He has His eye on you and yours...and do not be shaken. He will reestablish you and your faith...though for now, you are bowed down low.

I have no instructions for you...just wait on HIM.
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Old 21st April 2013, 10:11 PM   #20
chosen
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Re: When marriage meets physical disability-Urgent Advice please

What are you wanting God to do? He gives us free will, and if your wife chooses to act appallingly then God cant force her not to. Maybe He is waiting for you to act. Maybe he tried to warn you not to marry her.

Find a good local church and start to go each week with the children whether she goes or not. See if they have a mans group you can join for fellowship. See if you can get help and support there and some godly advise and prayer.

How get an audience with God? Simple.He is already in you through His Holy Spirt, Sit down, and open your heart, and talk to Him. Be honest and open. There are no tricks to God hearing you, He hears everything you say.Ask Him for clear guidance as to the next step.
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Old 4th May 2013, 01:46 PM   #21
judonski
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Re: When marriage meets physical disability-Urgent Advice please

What really is life
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Old 4th May 2013, 05:43 PM   #22
chosen
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Re: When marriage meets physical disability-Urgent Advice please

Quote:
Originally Posted by judonski View Post
What really is life
Please elaborate?
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Old 6th May 2013, 02:48 PM   #23
judonski
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Re: When marriage meets physical disability-Urgent Advice please

My people,there is a huge twist to events, what I am putting up with now is a confirmed 2 way adultery-at least on emotional levels as far as I know.
She now keeps late, different men are promising her jobs and after weeks of unexplained outings I got reports that partly confirm my worst fears.

I've never felt this way in my life and I hope I don't do something very stupid and end up in the news.
She is seeing a married man in a local church where she started going recently.
When we argue about this,she' either plays it down or takes sides with him. She says the man promised to find her a job and nothing else but I discovered a text message from him being invite for a date in a secret location and she quickly deleted it before me.
I 'm not too surprised anyway.
She is now heavily neglecting her matrimonial duties, I try to focus on the kids but trust me it's not easy.
I plan to get more details and then expose them secretly to our families,friends,the mans wife and the church community.Why are all these happening to me in one go. What really is life? It's not interesting at all.

Last edited by judonski; 6th May 2013 at 03:29 PM.
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Old 6th May 2013, 03:56 PM   #24
chosen
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Re: When marriage meets physical disability-Urgent Advice please

Your life is very hard because you married a lady who is not very nice.If she is acting badly as you suspect then yes, you need to expose her and make sure it stops. If she is cheating as well as the other bad behaviour she shows, then you may need to end that marriage and try and get custody of those poor children.
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Old 6th May 2013, 05:05 PM   #25
Forever
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Re: When marriage meets physical disability-Urgent Advice please

Sweetheart, the Lord is exposing the truth to you...not so you can take your life or someone else's, but so you can turn to Him and allow Him to guide you specifically on how to proceed.

You will get into eternity soon enough as we all will...but for now, be willing to push forward and do what is necessary concerning those children, including yourself.

You are NOT experiencing anything uncommon to many who come here...the only difference is that you have a disease on top of the infidelity to deal with. Those are two different problems, so you must be discouraged, especially if your focus is on both at the same time. Separate the two and focus on securing the children as well as the help you will need to care for them.

DEAL with the marriage breakdown and infidelity FIRST!! It is draining to the soul and toxic to your body to live like that. Do what any man would do given an unfaithful hateful wife and get out of it! You will not change her mind, nor will you get compassion from the likes of her. Secure all the time you can get with your children by using a good Solicitor and don't wait around for your wife to take the upper hand and snatch the children.

What is your situation regarding the house you are in? Can you afford to walk away from it and get yourself a place...and hire a full time live-in nanny to help with the kids when you have them with you?
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