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Old 8th September 2010, 01:02 PM   #91
chosen
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Re: Christian/Muslim marriage problems

[QUOTE=Janina;56934]Hello Sara, how are you? I know it`s 5 years later... but has your situation improved? How are you feeling? I`m living with Muslim man too. Having 2 children. Would be grateful for a chat sometimes... Love, J.[/QUOTE]

This post is a good example of why Christians shouldnt marry a non believer.
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Old 4th October 2010, 12:31 PM   #92
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Unhappy Re: Christian/Muslim marriage problems

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Old 9th October 2010, 10:21 AM   #93
Ruby
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Red face Re: Christian/Muslim marriage problems

I did post a very long messge in February this year, I was not registered and just did this as a guest. This message has now been edited and typed over - maybe now I'm registered what I have to say will remain! Anyway this is my story as brief as I can make it. I met my husband on holiday more than 7 years ago, I always knew he was a practising Muslim. I can also say that I was also aware from the start that our children would have to be brought up as Muslim. Stupidly and naively I thought I would be OK with this. Although I was brought up as a strict Christan I had stopped practising for many years when I met my husband. I guess I put it to the back of my mind and tried to convince myself that it was not such a big issue.

This was very STUPID! I have constant regret and guilt that my children are now Muslim. Before marrying my husband I did drink alcohol and eat non halal meat and even pork. Giving these things up was never an issue for me, I drank alcohol rarely and was not really bothered about eating pork. I live in a very multi-cultural area and the local butchers are halal anyway so often ate halal meat before I even met my husband. I certainly am not bothered by having to do this. The nurturing of a child and the instruction that as a parent we give to essentially form who they will become as an adult is something different. This is especially difficult when you are dealing with two religions such as Christianity and Islam which although are full of similarities are NOT THE SAME.

Islam is a very strict religion most (not all) Islamic men will expect a certain role from their wifes - particularly those who are not from the West! Socialising outside the family is no longer understood, particularly with the opposite sex. Socialising within the family is not particyularly liked either as my familiy are non-muslim and therefore a bad influence - alcohol consumers and port eaters etc! In more than six years of marriage I have gone out socially without my husband less than 5 times. Although I do remind my husband that I was an independant person before we met and that if I wasn't we would not have met it make no difference. Upon my return there is always a row where I am made to feel as if I have deserted our children etc. The outcome is that although my husband does not forbid me to go out I find it makes life easier and more peaceful not to. Things are very black and white with Islam - there is no compromise. I often feel as if I have sacrificed myself and my identity for the sake of my husband and my marriage. Now please do not get me wrong this is definitely something that I regret, BUT it is something that I am willing to do as long as my childrens are happy.

I do still and have always loved my husband, I do not like the way he changed after we were married and had children - we have 3. But he is a good man, he loves his religion and is not fundamental or a fanatic. I try my best to bring our children up with a respectful understanding that I have a different religion. Muslims historically showed respect to other religions.

My ultimate advice to anyone considering marrying a muslim is obvious - really think hard and try and look at all aspect of your life that might be affected. Food, Birthdays, Christmas, Easter, Socialising, Friends (mine have pretty much gone now!), Family, Children (remember if you have a son he will have to be circumcised; something I found very distressing with my son!) and of course yourself...how much of yourself are you willing to give up?! Also find out as much about Islam as possible, then you really will know what is for instance Haram (forbidden) and Halal. As some Muslims say things are Haram and it turns out not to be so.

When I look at my situation I truly belive it was a mistake to marry my husband, but I also cannot guarentee that if I went back in time I wouldn't make that same mistake again. My children are happy and as long as that remains the case I will do my best to tollerate the bad things in my marriage.

So you could say I'm hopeful for the future
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Old 30th December 2010, 11:24 AM   #94
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Wink Re: Christian/Muslim marriage problems

I hope someone can help me as well. I am a Christian married to a Muslim man. He said he was catholic when we were married 3 years ago, but never went to church, except a few times in all the years I was With him. His parents are both Catholics and very involved in their church. My husband is a soldier and in a recent trip to Iraq he converted to Muslim. My marriage has turned ugly and filled with arguments. I feel awful because he made this change while i was pregnant with my son. I do not want to divorce, but surely do not want to live so unhappy and let my son see that. He is now 2 years old and I want him to be raised Christian. I feel my husband did me wrong.
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Old 30th December 2010, 12:45 PM   #95
Raymond
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Re: Christian/Muslim marriage problems

Basically you are married to an unbeliever in Christ Lovingmummy. The scripture says that if the unbeliever is willing to dwell with you as a christian let them, but if they depart you are not under bondage in these cases. The scripture also says that because of your faith your children are clean.

Really the battle is to keep your faith within the marriage and not be forced into becoming a moslem. This will take giving the situation to God in your prayers. He is ever mindful of your predicament. As he is not of middle eastern descent the whole thing could wear off but I wouldn't bank on that. Although the word says wives be subject to your husband this does not mean that you abandon your faith or your relationship with God. In spiritual things you should be subject to Christ which means that you do not neglect fellowship with other believers. In the things of the world you can honour him and be a good wife and that could actually cause him to be converted to Christ.

That his parents are both Catholics would surely give him an understanding of your predicament. You did not choose to marry a moslem so I don't see why you should be subject to it. If he is of the type to use force and pressure then you need to maintain access with regard to the legal position.

With regard to the arguments lots of couples can have these. What are the arguments about?
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Old 20th February 2011, 03:06 PM   #96
Raymond
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Re: Christian/Muslim marriage problems

I think all your posts are serious warnings for those who are in danger of entering into an Islamic marriage.

The scripture does say be not unequally yoked with unbelievers and for someone who believes the scripture is the word of God a marriage to a Moslem wouldn't come up.

To those who already feel trapped God would say His arm is not shortened and He can reach into any situation that is brought to Him in sincerity. Nothing can separate us from the love of God if we sincerely turn to him.
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Old 27th February 2011, 08:03 PM   #97
chosen
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Re: Christian/Muslim marriage problems

With respect though, for Christians, Our Father makes it 100% clear that we are not to marry anyone who isnt a Christian believer, whether that be a muslim, a buddist, an agnostic, an athiest or whatever else they may be.
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Old 10th April 2011, 09:22 PM   #98
Brandi Leanell
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Post Re: Christian/Muslim marriage problems

Hi Sarah!

i was looking up things about a Christian/Muslim marriage and ran across these post..

now im engaged to a Muslim we are getting married in may...
and may i say i was a little confused about the whole thing also but we have had deep conversations about our marriage and him being allowed to have 4 wives to when we have children. well my case is a little different from yours...some of his family does not approve of the marriage and some of my family does not approve...now with out being said i just started to go to church in march but i have never been bathtized a religion and he is not an active muslim... every one tries to say that im marring the devil! where i believe it is total discrimination. i dont think you should discriminate on color religion race or age. and thats what me and my fiancée both believe. as to my knowledge...but my eyes are wide open in this whole conflict and when i told him about when we have children and what their religion was going to be he had said "babe its not my choice nor your choice its the going to be the childrens choice." and about the 4 wives thing he had told me he can barley bear one wife why would he want 4?

now that i have read all these post im a little scared on what i should do...
i love him and trust him with all my heart but im easily mis lead by what other people think...
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Old 10th April 2011, 09:34 PM   #99
Forever
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Re: Christian/Muslim marriage problems

While it may be true that your future children will ultimately choose for themselves which God they want to follow, it is your responsibility to teach them something until they make that choice.

I would sit down with my fiance and first tell him: ONE wife, no flirting, cheating, chat rooms, porn or texting other women. Then you need to decide how the children will be raised regarding which church/mosque they will be expected to go to for consistancy. I recommend raising them Christian since I am one, but if your faith is weak, you will probably make concessions to your fiance.

It is funny how some men suddenly become ultra religious as soon as they marry and then start laying down "the law" or else. Make sure you have an understanding that you will practice your faith as you feel God is directing to, or you will be in for a world of trouble, and your children will see this and likely wont want anything to do with either "faith" when they grow up.
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Old 11th April 2011, 04:54 AM   #100
chosen
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Re: Christian/Muslim marriage problems

Any Christian who marries a muslim is not only disobeying God, but is mad. Do they actually WANT their children to go to hell? Light and dark dont mix. You will get badly burnt.You will be in a constant spiritual battle in your own home.
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Old 11th April 2011, 09:43 PM   #101
Shasha
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Angry Re: Christian/Muslim marriage problems

Amen to that sister!
I made a grave mistake to marry a man who supposedly said he was a Christian and now he is backslidden in his heart. As a result the problems in our marriage have escalated and are still piling up. Can you imagine me crossing the threshold to marry a muslim man or any other man of a different faith?!? That would be unheard of!

So yes, this is craziness to marry a man of a completely different faith.

YOU GUYS, ARE COMPLETELY INSANE!! DON'T DO IT!!! PLEASE!!!

There are, I'm sure enough Christian men to go around! Pray and ask God to direct you, according to His will! PLEASE!!!! Save yourself, your children and your future. Don't be unequally yoked with an unbeliever who does not know the Lord Jesus Christ as Lord of his/her life!!!!!

Ask Jesus and He will guide you and lead you to a man he has chosen for you!!!
__________________
"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son,
That whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life."

"For God did not send His son into the world to condemn the world,
But that the world through Him
might be saved." JN 3:16,17

Grace be with you all.
God bless!
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Old 11th April 2011, 11:20 PM   #102
Forever
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Re: Christian/Muslim marriage problems

Sasha,
She is going to marry him anyway...the wedding is in May. The only thing that can stop it at this point is that she have a serious conversation with him to say that she will NEVER be Muslim, and neither will the children they have ever be taught that. Then HE will likely, hopefully, call off the wedding because he will want to put his foot down from the getgo about her calling any shots.

Her faith means little to nothing to her (yet) since she went for a man that does not know Jesus Christ. You know, "but I love him and we dont want to discriminate". Does that sound like she loves Jesus or that her faith has any real meaning to her?
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Old 12th April 2011, 05:43 AM   #103
Shasha
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Re: Christian/Muslim marriage problems

Forever,
It seems like it is a matter of God verses "my will", instead of 'Thy will be done'. If we seek our own will, esp. where marriage is concerned then there is no point is there? As far as God is concerned He has given us a choice and we have stubbornly taken Him out of the equation, completely and He is very sad to see this happen and disappointed in us.
How glorious it is when we know that Christ is in our lives and in our home and blessing everything we do in His name. We can't go wrong with Him. But when you go outside of his will to do your own thing, then you're just digging a very deep pit for yourself. There is so much suffering, troubles and pain out there aLready and yet we seem to want to create even more when we are disobedient to our loving, heavenly Father.
What a devastating and dangerous path to take! It's almost as if they have chosen their own death sentence, through deception and 'false' love. What a calamity! Have mercy Lord!
__________________
"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son,
That whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life."

"For God did not send His son into the world to condemn the world,
But that the world through Him
might be saved." JN 3:16,17

Grace be with you all.
God bless!
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Old 24th April 2011, 04:20 PM   #104
Undermineness2011
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Re: Christian/Muslim marriage problems

Assalaamu'alaikum Wa Rahmatoullaahi Wa Barakaatuh...

Problems...problems & again problems...

Ya Allah Azza Wajal...

The issue is that we are not practising our religion as it should be...the guys are not respecting their wifes...they are ungratefull to Allah Ta'ala. Girls also...same thing!!!

If u could...Ya Allah Azza Wajal...there are certain people who are in worst condition like yours but Alhamdulillah they are finding their way...why becoz of gratefullness & Alhamdulillah they r living happily now.

In christianity...it is compulsory to wear a scarf...in the bible Paul says that the women who dont cover her hairs, shave it. this is what the bible says...and im asking...do you follow ur religion even little...nah!!!

Even ur husband is not following islam as it should be...

Thats why ull face problem now...u know why becoz now u going back to ur instial position to start again a new life...so ull have to face those things that was so called desires...comforts and so on...but insha-Allah when ull reach ur starting point n take the rite path everything would be oki...but sacrifices is there...be patient n persevere
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Old 24th April 2011, 05:11 PM   #105
chosen
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Re: Christian/Muslim marriage problems

Its not compulsory to wear a scarf for Christians.
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