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Old 1st October 2013, 07:01 PM   #11
Raymond
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,409
Re: I can't let go!

I sense control going on there in the way he accuses you Pamela. That is where a man will use fear or intimidation to keep you quite. It is very subtle. His reaction is not loving.

What are the options? Just submit to it all and let him carry on in case he gets angry with you for interfering? To me he has one foot out of the marriage. That shows in many ways not least in the selfish way he treats money with you. In a way you are supporting his lifestyle without really knowing what is going on. He wants to have cake and eat it in my mind.

I could go on but I know you are down about this. I think you have to start from scratch again and learn how to keep your boundaries. Yes he may be friendly at times but can you fully trust him? If your trust is going it is a fact which shouting at you will not change. If he wants to keep that trust he has to change. Jealousy is quite legitimate when something rightly belongs to you as opposed to envy where you want something that doesn't belong to you. I don't think you are one bit paranoiac. Most wives would feel as you do.

You could try and feign trust but deep down it would niggle away at you. Trust is very important in a marriage. What if you started bonding with a man? What would he think? If there is nothing going on she should be a lot more welcoming of you unless he has been describing you in an unfavourable light.

Last edited by Raymond; 1st October 2013 at 07:22 PM.
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