Re: Boundaries in marriage
Hi Raymond
Goodness I am not suggesting that either myself nor my husband would ignore anyone who we met on a train or bus that we knew.By travelling together I was thinking more of long distance travelling, or maybe travelling together for a fair time every day.
Affairs in the church, well, my husbands ex was a long time Christian who had an affair and I have known several others. I know a lady whose husband was a Baptist minister who left her for another woman in the congregation. My dad was for a lot of his life a church goer who had an affair for about 8 years(yet again with a woman from work)
In answer to your question, my first husband wasnt a Christian when we married, and I wasnt following God either then. but he did make a committment later, but since our marriage ended about 11 years ago I dont think he has stepped into a church. However his betrayal wasnt through an affair, but something else,even worse that an affair(if that were possible) although I am almost certain that he did sleep with at least one woman after we seperated before the divorce went through.
My pastor told us a few months ago of four Christian marriages that he knew of in in one week where adultery was discovered,and also of a youth pastor that he personally knew who left his wife and 3 small children for a teenager in his youth group. Christians definately need to be just as careful as anyone else I feel, inside the church and out, especially as Satan does loves to destroy a Christian marriage.
Anyway my husband and I have talked and prayed and we have agreed that neither of us will ever eat alone with a member of the opposite sex unless it is absolutely unaviodable. For example, if my husband was eating out with 3 or 4 people in connection with work and one or two had to pull out at the last minute, he may then still go if the remaining person was a woman,if, for example, if it was too late to cancel. Even then it would only be if he knew the woman and knew what she was like. Also if that did ever happen, and it is highly unlikely that it would, he will get in touch with me and tell me. I would never eat alone with another man full stop, whatever the reason, but that is my boundary.
Also we have agreed that if he needs to travel with, or give a long distance lift to, a woman alone, he will tell me before and we will discuss it. If it is unaviodable and last minute,he will also ring me about it. He is more than happy with these boundaries and says that they are very sensible, especially in light of all the family members that we have who have been unfaithful with people form work (including his former wife).
God Bless
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