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Old 6th May 2017, 01:41 PM   #1
Pmsc
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Join Date: May 2017
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Caught on dating site.

I have rewritten this because it was long winded and I can't easily cut it short.


I was insinuated by a guy I know that my girlfriend which is away for a couple of months is up to no good. He didn't say anything directly but that is the vibes that I got.

A few days after I remembered that she accidentally joined badoo. A dating site that a link was sent to her by her son on Facebook. This happened at Christ and I know that badoo has a reputation of spamming people's friends list. She opened the link and it created the account for her. I saw the app/notification on her phone and asked why she was on it. She said that it came from her son and she didn't know what it was. I told her it's for dating and unless she wasn't happy with me to delete it as it wouldn't be right to be on it. It took her a while as she was still receiving notifications by email but eventually deleted her account. Or so I thought. This was around last Christmas.

I had a gut feeling that something wasn't right so I created a fake profile and found her active ok on Badoo. When I messaged her and eventually got round to saying that she is still on the dating site she told me that I'm talking rubbish and being stupid. Then she deleted her account. I then asked her to explain why she is on a dating site considering it was deleted 5 months ago. She told me that she has nothing to explain and did nothing wrong.

I felt and still feel shattered as she cheated on me before and I caught her out lying but denied it happened in out time. Now I feel a fool and deeply hurt but yet somehow calm about it. I also feel like I'm taken for a fool with no respect.

Is this seen as cheating or am I over reacting? I ask this because I am confused of all the nice things she has said and done but yet I also think about the lack of sex and interest unless it involves her. I also think about certain things she said in the past like when I picked her up from a Christmas party. Everyone had gone home when she called me to collect her but yet when I got there her boss drove past really quick and acted like he didn't see or know her eventhough he could have knocked her down. Also about being with the boys from the other party not thinking that I knew some of them.

Just feel like a right @|{√

Last edited by Pmsc; 6th May 2017 at 05:00 PM.
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Old 6th May 2017, 05:00 PM   #2
Pmsc
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Re: Caught on dating site.

And it still ended up just as long ��
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Old 7th May 2017, 01:06 PM   #3
chosen
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Re: Caught on dating site.

There are massive red flags here, and being that she has already cheated and is out to meet other guys on the dating site, its time for you to make a decision. Stay with a woman who thinks its ok to cheat and sleep around, or end this relationship and find a good woman with moral values and integrity.
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Old 7th May 2017, 01:49 PM   #4
Pmsc
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Re: Caught on dating site.

Thanks Chosen.

Yes I know. It is hard though because i battles to make this relationship work and I gave up alot. Only last night she sent me a message saying that she missed me. I told her to explain why she was on badoo if she missed me. She said that she went on there to delete it but couldnt figure it. I asked why she added all those photos. She admitted that she did but that she didnt speak to anyone and found no interest. So why 5 months later are you on there and if you couldnt figure out how to delete it, when didnt you ask your son who sent you the link to help you delete it. At least delete the photos? Quickly turned it around and accused me of already moving on with a new girlfriend and that I was looking for something to break up with. Thing is that I didnt mention anything about breaking up. All I said is that she has messed up and that I don't want to talk to her for now.

My heart misses her but my head says walk away. She obviously is feeling guilty or gutted.
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Old 7th May 2017, 08:04 PM   #5
chosen
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Re: Caught on dating site.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pmsc View Post
Thanks Chosen.

Yes I know. It is hard though because i battles to make this relationship work and I gave up alot. Only last night she sent me a message saying that she missed me. I told her to explain why she was on badoo if she missed me. She said that she went on there to delete it but couldnt figure it. I asked why she added all those photos. She admitted that she did but that she didnt speak to anyone and found no interest. So why 5 months later are you on there and if you couldnt figure out how to delete it, when didnt you ask your son who sent you the link to help you delete it. At least delete the photos? Quickly turned it around and accused me of already moving on with a new girlfriend and that I was looking for something to break up with. Thing is that I didnt mention anything about breaking up. All I said is that she has messed up and that I don't want to talk to her for now.

My heart misses her but my head says walk away. She obviously is feeling guilty or gutted.
I think you know deep down that she was on there looking for other men. I think that you were her boyfriend until someone else came along. To be honest her first affair was a warning, but you didn't take it. Honestly faithfulness is so vital. She is twisting this round to blame it on you!!!

Its best if you cut off all contact to be honest, block her calls and texts and move on is my advise. Find a nice girl who will treat you with love and respect.
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Old 7th May 2017, 09:07 PM   #6
Pmsc
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Re: Caught on dating site.

Yes I think you are right. Like I said, my heart misses her but my head says walk away. I just don't understand her good actions and the nice things she has said and done until I discovered this.
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Old 7th May 2017, 09:37 PM   #7
Pmsc
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Re: Caught on dating site.

Quote:
Originally Posted by chosen View Post

Its best if you cut off all contact to be honest, block her calls and texts and move on is my advise. Find a nice girl who will treat you with love and respect.
To be honest it is very hard when her clothes and belongings are here. She is due back next month's.. that's what makes it hard
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Old 7th May 2017, 10:38 PM   #8
chosen
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Re: Caught on dating site.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pmsc View Post
To be honest it is very hard when her clothes and belongings are here. She is due back next month's.. that's what makes it hard
Bag them up and take them to a friend of hers or family member so that you dont need to see her.
Yes you will miss her, but unless you want to deal with her cheating for the rest of your life, what choice have you got?
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Old 8th May 2017, 08:42 PM   #9
Raymond
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Re: Caught on dating site.

There is a chance that taking Chosen's action could bring her to repentance when she knows what she is going to miss. Whatever happens she needs to come clean with you as to what has been going on.
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Old 9th May 2017, 01:16 PM   #10
Pmsc
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Re: Caught on dating site.

I think that she has already realised this because she keeps telling me that she misses me and almost sounds like she is begging me. I miss her so much but my head is still saying don't be fooled.

Maybe I have got it all wrong but the way I see it, it isn't anything like a quick glance of her dancing with a guy and I get it wrong. This is deliberate use. I can't think of any other reason 5 months later.
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Old 9th May 2017, 10:14 PM   #11
chosen
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Re: Caught on dating site.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pmsc View Post
I think that she has already realised this because she keeps telling me that she misses me and almost sounds like she is begging me. I miss her so much but my head is still saying don't be fooled.

Maybe I have got it all wrong but the way I see it, it isn't anything like a quick glance of her dancing with a guy and I get it wrong. This is deliberate use. I can't think of any other reason 5 months later.
I agree, and after her first affair she didn't stop acting that way but carried on. You are not married and I think you need to move on and cut off contact. Find a nice lady who will be faithful.
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Old 13th May 2017, 02:33 PM   #12
TJW
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Re: Caught on dating site.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chosen
I think you need to move on and cut off contact. Find a nice lady who will be faithful.
Amen. Her past behavior is a quite-reliable predictor of her future behavior. I had a wife like this years ago. It doesn't stop. An old country expression
in the southern US is ...."...get, while the gettin's good..." .... right now it is easy for you to get out. Later, if children and/or a marriage comes along, it won't be.
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