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Old 5th May 2017, 09:27 PM   #1
Dav
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Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 1
Depression post marriage

Folks,

I loved a woman who was close to my heart and we were in relationship for 3 yrs but last year my parents tourchered and abused me & married me to girl of their choice in very unconventional manner.

Life after marriage was even tough as my wife came to know every thing about my past & she started questioning my character now and then, forced me to do things and behave as she wanted and that led to disputes and arguments between us many times.

The woman I wanted to marry, also married last year to someone else, though today my wife and my parents still hate her, they have fear that she will come back to my life.

My Parents and rest of the family do not even talk or keep any relation with me anymore. My wife stayed with her parents after marriage & worked there but she doesn't even bother to ask me for any help emotionally or financially, she depends on me for every single expense and rather prefers to help her parents.

After lots of hurdles, I applied for her visa and she is coming to US very soon to join me here. I do not want to cheat my wife but I am not happy with her either, my mind has been so unstable lately, but since she has support of her parents so as my parents, I see myself helpless every moment.

My life has become so woeful that every day I realize if I had backed myself that moment, I would have been with woman of my choice and my world would have been different.

Please help and share your two cents.
Thanks
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Old 8th May 2017, 08:10 PM   #2
Raymond
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,389
Re: Depression post marriage

I can't see that your marriage is legitimate if you said you was forced into it. How can one make freewill vows when one is forced into it? The real problem is parental abuse and control. Maybe your culture is different but from my point of view your marriage has been made on the wrong foundation so how can it thrive? I think some of the fault is with you for not standing up to your parents and doing the right thing. I know one should honour their parents but this does not mean we should do things which are wrong for us. It could be that you may have to finish this marriage and start with someone where there is mutual respct and love and a willingness to enter into marriage with you. I should forget about the first girl if she is married. It would not be right to interfere with her marriage.
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Old 9th May 2017, 09:56 AM   #3
Raymond
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,389
Re: Depression post marriage

My wife says that if your wife is coming to the US there might be a chance of getting the marriage on the right footing if she and you are willing without the interference of the parents. Otherwise I cannot see why she is coming over. You say she never lived with you and was always busy with her parents. This would have to change in the US so that the marriage can be on the right footing.
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Old 13th May 2017, 02:23 PM   #4
TJW
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Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 41
Re: Depression post marriage

I would advise you to see a lawyer BEFORE she gets here. You have a wife who is not your wife at all. She has never lived with you, supported you, or loved you. Neither have you been her husband.

There is a process in the US by which a marriage can be annulled, as if it never happened. In fairness to her, you might have to provide her compensation for expenses of travel if she actually comes here..... which I would advise you to not allow.

Honestly, I don't see any point in continuing to live in a charade. It sounds as if she didn't want to marry you, either. You two have simply made a mistake which should be corrected, and both of you move on.

I agree with Raymond that there is no legitimate marriage between you two.
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