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Old 23rd September 2007, 09:45 AM   #31
Ginger God
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Posts: 322
Re: Wife says she doesnt love me

Skelp her aboot the coupon for being a prat of the highest order....

Sorry Teach..I said early doors that this is where it was leading..why hang about though..get to a lawyer..at least that way you are underway.

Graham
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Old 23rd September 2007, 09:50 AM   #32
teacherman
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Re: Wife says she doesnt love me

Hi All
and thanks for that

Annie dont worry about the smiley -it made me laugh (1st time ive done that in ages)

Beer and fags - now theres a question

Fags - Well up to about 40 a day which seeing i had a heart attack in August last year is really not a good idea and I keep promising myself to quit. Not as easy as that with whats going on.

As for the Beer - I havent been drinking as much as I thought I would, I have been out a couple of times with the intention of getting really smashed but then stick to cokes all night.

Yes I am a teacher as such but not as you might think. I actually teach people to drive.

Its difficult to try to keep my problems away from my pupils but I have managed this so far.

A friend of mine has suggested (as some of you have) getting away for a few days but I am not sure if this might just make matters worse - I will have to see.

As I sit writing this I find I have got very mixed emotions - I have got all I stated in the previous post any yet part of me is calm and happy.

I am quite a pratical guy and have always been a firm believer in "life goes on" no matter what S**t is thrown at you.

Not sure if I am really getting to grips with this or if it will hit me like a thunderbolt in a few days (maybe thats when the drink will kick in).

How can you be sad and happy at the same time - strange.

Thought about writing a book called "Life Sucks" but somebody beat me to it.

I will keep looking on the positive and I will keep reading the posts - you guys can really make me laugh at times.

Fond thoughts
Tim
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Old 23rd September 2007, 10:22 PM   #33
Annie2
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Posts: 350
Re: Wife says she doesnt love me

Hullo all (nervously)...
Thanks for forgiveness over boob...you know..the...erm....the smiley happy bloody face that appeared...much to my bloody distress I might add.
Ok...Teacherman...god I love it. A driver...so not the English Lit. that you come across as. God I'm not sighing with relief, honest! Hey, getting away for a few days sounds exactly what you need. Come on...life is ****, why not have **** in the Lake District or something? Eh...come on...a chocolate left on your pillow....crap soap, that a family of six in poorer parts across the pond, tirelessly made for a scrap of a meal, you can smuggle it home? Really...this is what you need! Seriously, do it. Get out the box..have a bit of space to let the YOU in and bypass all the mixed up crap that's going on. Have a break. Hey God dam it....let's have a 2-in-to-1 holiday...we're packing...just name the day, ok? Bagsy I share with Graham...yippeee!
Annie2 xx

Last edited by Annie2; 23rd September 2007 at 10:28 PM. Reason: dreadful grammar..even though he's a driver..
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Old 23rd September 2007, 10:50 PM   #34
Ginger God
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Re: Wife says she doesnt love me

Annie...yur a dirty bugger...do you want to go on top........


I mean the bunk beds.....
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Old 23rd September 2007, 11:01 PM   #35
Annie2
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Re: Wife says she doesnt love me

Yippee...yes please Graham! God, it's like being back at Brownie Camp! Tim....it's over to you now...make this happen for us....Graham...I'm packing my lurve....oh I am so excited. Hurrah!
xx
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Old 24th September 2007, 06:17 PM   #36
Annie2
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Re: Wife says she doesnt love me

Lee,
I have no idea what you are talking about!! (yipppeeee I did it...now that would not have looked good on your title either Tim. Pheow!)
xx
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Old 24th September 2007, 06:55 PM   #37
Ginger God
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Re: Wife says she doesnt love me

Quote:
Originally Posted by Annie2 View Post
Yippee...yes please Graham! God, it's like being back at Brownie Camp! Tim....it's over to you now...make this happen for us....Graham...I'm packing my lurve....oh I am so excited. Hurrah!
xx
Bloody hell Annie...what kind of thing went on at your brownie camp???

I just remember getting blackened at cubs....

Sorry Teach getting a bit off subject here but Annie is making it quite obvious that she is there for the taking...and the God of Lurv is on his way....
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Old 24th September 2007, 08:37 PM   #38
Annie2
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Re: Wife says she doesnt love me

Hi Tim,
Do feel free to re-join us...anyway whilst you're away......Graham....brownie camp...gosh I could tell you some stories...darn it there is some kind of censor on this site...it won't let me write it..oh bugger!
xx
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Old 24th September 2007, 10:40 PM   #39
Ginger God
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Re: Wife says she doesnt love me

Annie...do you perchance happen to own a very short brown dress???
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Old 25th September 2007, 12:20 AM   #40
wind
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Smile Re: Wife says she doesnt love me

Good day,
I am so regretful that you are enduring what I to endure. My wife of almost 5 years next month told me that she no longer had feelings for me the way she had. Oddly, just in July she said she loved me. I've not heard her say it in so many weeks. We are both active in our church and it really feels odd. I cannot offer any suggestions except to pray or ask of a higher source to intervene on both of you. I am must admit, I allowed work to become my wife. When we'd talk it was all about our work experience etc. We dated for 4 years first(while living in separate apartments opposite sides of town) and gave each other only 2 or 3 days to be with each other. At the time, I worked for a different company making more money and less stress. Then after marriage the first 2 years, started becoming super stressed and angry alot than I had ever been. I started to regress my fustrations at her and others....not physically though. My tone in voice was not LOUD; just short to the point. My wife was/is by buddy and I recall all the tiny things she's done for me and I for her that truly meant alot to each of us. For the last 2.5 months we've discomforted. I've mentioned that could leave(although I did not mean it...only to express the seriousness of my feelings at that time). She would come home from work and rest for around 30 minutes and be online until 3 or 4am!!! I asked her if there was someone else and she denied it. I expressed to her that I would understand, however not like it if she had because I was not there for her emotionally nor physically even though we were in the same home. I had brought work home all the time. I am/was responsible for a million dollar company and was continuosly on call. My nerves would jump when I heard a phone or pager ring! I was a mess. I did not put her needs before anything or anyone. Biblically I was not being the Christian husband that I should:

Ecclesiastes 3.
Phillipians 2:1-18.

I praise God for everyone I've encountered in this life's journey.
For those who have known a better part of me, I too apologize and ask for all forgiveness and friendship.

Men out there: I have realized that I have not done these things, so PLEASE do them daily!
1) Love your wife as Christ loved the church. Give yourself up for your wife. [Ephesians 5:25]

2) Love your wife in the same way you love your body and yourself. [Ephesians 5:28-33]
3) Be considerate as you live with your wife. [I Peter 3:7]
4) Do not be harsh with your wife. [Colossians 3:19]
5) Your body belongs to your wife. [I Corinthians 7:3-5]
6) Rejoice in your wife. Let her breasts satisfy you. Be captivated with her. [Proverbs 5:18-19]
6) Praise your wife. [Proverbs 31:28-29]
7) Tell your wife how captivated you are with her body [Song of Solomon, esp 4:7; 7:1-8]
8) Honor your marriage; keep it pure by remaining true to your wife in every way [Heb 13:4]
9) Be thankful for your wife and realize the favor you have received from God. [Prov 18:22]
10) Be "one flesh" with your wife in every way. [Matthew 19:5]


These are some scripture that I posted online to her that I realize how am to be and vow, like our wedding vows, to be with her through everything that comes our way until death do us part.

My friend, there are so many things I am feeling at this moment. I pray that God's Will be done and His devine Love will be seen by her. I feel that you recognize a good wife and do I. If Love was real in at some point for each other, I feel that it can be regained...much like when dating someone. If the goal is to eventually have her as the spouse, Love is the goal of attainment. I must continue to pray about her, me, us, and HIS will being done.

I must quote Proverbs 18:22: "He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord"

Lastly my friend, May you recognize and acknowledge YOUR participation in her discomfort and LISTEN to her. Try, if not already, to just hold her without saying a word. just hold her even in her anguish etc.

As for Love, my Love for my God Jesus Christ, just as we are to treat our wives and ourselves towards others:
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never ends.

Until we meet again, may God continue to bless you and keep you in his care!
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Old 25th September 2007, 07:12 AM   #41
Ginger God
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 322
Re: Wife says she doesnt love me

Quote:
Originally Posted by wind View Post
Good day,
I am so regretful that you are enduring what I to endure. My wife of almost 5 years next month told me that she no longer had feelings for me the way she had. Oddly, just in July she said she loved me. I've not heard her say it in so many weeks. We are both active in our church and it really feels odd. I cannot offer any suggestions except to pray or ask of a higher source to intervene on both of you. I am must admit, I allowed work to become my wife. When we'd talk it was all about our work experience etc. We dated for 4 years first(while living in separate apartments opposite sides of town) and gave each other only 2 or 3 days to be with each other. At the time, I worked for a different company making more money and less stress. Then after marriage the first 2 years, started becoming super stressed and angry alot than I had ever been. I started to regress my fustrations at her and others....not physically though. My tone in voice was not LOUD; just short to the point. My wife was/is by buddy and I recall all the tiny things she's done for me and I for her that truly meant alot to each of us. For the last 2.5 months we've discomforted. I've mentioned that could leave(although I did not mean it...only to express the seriousness of my feelings at that time). She would come home from work and rest for around 30 minutes and be online until 3 or 4am!!! I asked her if there was someone else and she denied it. I expressed to her that I would understand, however not like it if she had because I was not there for her emotionally nor physically even though we were in the same home. I had brought work home all the time. I am/was responsible for a million dollar company and was continuosly on call. My nerves would jump when I heard a phone or pager ring! I was a mess. I did not put her needs before anything or anyone. Biblically I was not being the Christian husband that I should:

Ecclesiastes 3.
Phillipians 2:1-18.

I praise God for everyone I've encountered in this life's journey.
For those who have known a better part of me, I too apologize and ask for all forgiveness and friendship.

Men out there: I have realized that I have not done these things, so PLEASE do them daily!
1) Love your wife as Christ loved the church. Give yourself up for your wife. [Ephesians 5:25]

2) Love your wife in the same way you love your body and yourself. [Ephesians 5:28-33]
3) Be considerate as you live with your wife. [I Peter 3:7]
4) Do not be harsh with your wife. [Colossians 3:19]
5) Your body belongs to your wife. [I Corinthians 7:3-5]
6) Rejoice in your wife. Let her breasts satisfy you. Be captivated with her. [Proverbs 5:18-19]
6) Praise your wife. [Proverbs 31:28-29]
7) Tell your wife how captivated you are with her body [Song of Solomon, esp 4:7; 7:1-8]
8) Honor your marriage; keep it pure by remaining true to your wife in every way [Heb 13:4]
9) Be thankful for your wife and realize the favor you have received from God. [Prov 18:22]
10) Be "one flesh" with your wife in every way. [Matthew 19:5]


These are some scripture that I posted online to her that I realize how am to be and vow, like our wedding vows, to be with her through everything that comes our way until death do us part.

My friend, there are so many things I am feeling at this moment. I pray that God's Will be done and His devine Love will be seen by her. I feel that you recognize a good wife and do I. If Love was real in at some point for each other, I feel that it can be regained...much like when dating someone. If the goal is to eventually have her as the spouse, Love is the goal of attainment. I must continue to pray about her, me, us, and HIS will being done.

I must quote Proverbs 18:22: "He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord"

Lastly my friend, May you recognize and acknowledge YOUR participation in her discomfort and LISTEN to her. Try, if not already, to just hold her without saying a word. just hold her even in her anguish etc.

As for Love, my Love for my God Jesus Christ, just as we are to treat our wives and ourselves towards others:
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never ends.

Until we meet again, may God continue to bless you and keep you in his care!

The only problem with this post is that if you do not believe in the Big Man upstairs which I dont then it aint gonna help..and before anyone says that faith helps..if he is that good..why does he let things like this happen in the first place.
I now await all of the incoming Exocets.

Graham
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Old 25th September 2007, 09:05 AM   #42
Lauz
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 59
Re: Wife says she doesnt love me

Not all religious people or people that believe in "something" are "bible bashers" (whatever that is).

EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON, whether you believe or not.
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Old 27th September 2007, 12:13 PM   #43
wind
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 2
Thumbs up Re: Wife says she doesnt love me

Good day,
To whom that were offended, I cannot apologize for my beliefs and my source of comfort when I alone cannot wisely make decisions nor manage issues of my coexistence in this world. I am learning that I can only see the Love that was had and the Love that CAN be with that person. However Love is spelled, those emotions once experienced during your journey with that person could be again... once the truth defeats all of the junky non-truth being perpetuated in our minds by outside interference. The Love that one has CAN truly be manifested into my reality. For my suggestion, focus on the what SHE is saying and truly listen and HEAR her. Go and tickle her! I also think that true laughter can help!

I/you cannot MAKE her love me/you. I can have her think of times when she/I were in that TIME of Love and how it fealt and when/what caused it to slow.
It's kind of like starting to date her again.

May a kind word, loving smile, peace, faith, and love be yours daily!
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Old 27th September 2007, 05:43 PM   #44
Topsy47
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Re: Wife says she doesnt love me

Hi Teacherman

I've just been reading through your thread and just wanted to send you my best wishes.

I think the way you have been dealing with it is totally normal and a bit like I have dealt with my situation - a lot of the time you want to get on with things and find a new positive you. Then it all catches up and you feel sad and disappointed over what has been lost.

Re the legal advice, it might help to see someone just to get an idea of where you stand. Me and my H have decided to negotiate our own separation agreement but knowing my legal rights beforehand has defintely helped me.

Good luck
Topsy
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Old 28th September 2007, 12:38 PM   #45
teacherman
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Cool Re: Wife says she doesnt love me

Hiya All

Sorry for the lack of communication - been away for a couple of days trying to clear my head.

Interesting posts over the last few days, as to the religion bit, I wont pour scorn on anyones religous beliefs, If they find comfort in that then fair enough. As for my self, if there is anyone up there watching over me I must have really pissed him/her off over the last few months. No one person (whatever the problem) deserves this amount of S**T.

As to the situation, - Shes moved out and we have decided to cut off all communication with each other unless really needed. I thought I was slowly coming to terms with this but the last couple of days have made me realise that its not that easy.

I still have the longing and wanting fellings and am not sure how to handle them. Keeping busy does seem to help but during the quiet times they come flooding back.

Taking each day as it comes and looking forward to reading your posts.

As for the get together - You wouldnt like the lake district at the moment its bloody freezing up there.

Let go somewhere warm like Barbados so we can strip off - lie on a beach and get smashed without a care in the world.

Love as always to all

Tim
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