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Old 12th September 2002, 09:24 AM   #1
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Unhappy pray for our marriage

Dear friends,
My husband and I are having problems. We have been married for almost 25 years. Since March of this year, we have been living separately. We have three children 12 17 and 22. I knew my husband and I were having difficulty communicating, but I never suspected that he was involved with his girlfriend from high school. Since March, he has been seeing this woman regularly and has refused to try to work out our marriage. Both my husband and I are seeing counselors. I wish he would give our marriage another chance, but he doesn't think he can come home. I have tried (to no avail) to encourage him to deal with the loss of feelings for me, but he just can't deal with giving up his relationship with his girlfriend. I have been praying for God to help me in my time of need, but things haven't changed. Some days I think they are getting worse. Our children are so upset with their dad and his parents are at their wits end. I see my family being pulled apart little by little and am at a loss as to how to turn things around. Of course I would like to things to change immediately and this doesn't help. I have trouble being patient. How do I get my husband to quit avoiding his feelings for me. I know he still loves me. I know God does not want our marriage to fall apart.
I should tell you, the other woman is also in the process of divorcing her husband. They were having troubles in their own marriage when she made contact with my husband. At this time her divorce is not final. Before she came back into his life, my husband was an honest, trustworthy man. Now, he lies to me and to his children often. I am losing the ability to trust him and know that if I do, there is no way our marriage can survive. Our friends have also seen a change in him. I feel at such a loss. I love my husband and do not want a divorce. I have been in contact with an attorney, but I couldn't go through with filing for a divorce. My faith tells me I married for life not just for the good times. I feel like such a failure to my children and myself. Both of us need help and I have suggested and nagged him to death to go to couples counseling to determine if there is anything to be saved. Please help>
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Old 16th September 2002, 05:56 PM   #2
Join Date: Feb 2000
Posts: 1,115
You are in a very difficult position, discovering how little real control we have over our lives, when others are involved. Like you I believe that marriage is for life and that God also wants your marriage to survive this heartache and flourish. He knows how much you are hurting and cares for you.

It is quite natural to want it all to get sorted out quickly and I'm sure each day you look for signs of hope that everything is going to be all right, but God is beside you through this. He wants you to draw close to Him and trust Him that he will care for you whatever happens and however long it takes. You have not failed as a wife or a mum. A marriage is between two individuals who can both make mistakes and who both need to be working at the marriage for it to grown and strengthen. Your husband is responsible for his own feelings and how he acts upon them - you have not "caused" his feelings for you to change. As you know married love isn't just about having positive feelngs, it's also about choices and commitments.

You might like to look at the Covenant Keepers web site too. Michelle Weiner Davis's book, Divorce remedy has also helped some folk.

I do encourage you to go on praying for your husband. Are there people at church who can pray for and with you and support you?

Keep in touch

Kate is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 13th March 2004, 02:51 PM   #3
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healing... For those without hope...a mircal prayer for you...The Prayer of St. Theresa...O Glorious St. Theresa, whom almighty God has raised up to aid and counsel mankind, I implore you miraculous Intercessions. So powerful are you in obtaining every need of body and soul our Holy Mother Church proclaims you a "Prodigy of Miracles...The Great St. of Modern Times." Now I frevently beseech you to answer my petition...(say petition here)...and to carry out your promise of spending your time in Heaven doing good upon the earth...of letting fall from heaven a shower of roses. Hence forth, dear Little Flower, I fulfill you plan "to be made known everywhere" and i will never cease to lead other to Jesus through you. Amen. St. Theresa Little Flower, pick me a rose from the heavenly garden and send it to me with the message of love. Ask God to grant the favor I implore and tell him I will love himeach day more and more. SAY 5 Lords' Prayer...5 Hail Marys...5 Glory Be's...for five days before 11:00 a.m....then on the fifth day pray an extra sequence of these prayer for other in despair and publish or circulate prayer on the fifth day. If a rose appears in your life within 5 days after this your prayer will be answered. God Bless you all...with God all things are possible...even miraculous changes of heart.

may you smell the roses soon
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