For anyone out there who is currently going through separation or sees it as an only option I thought I would offer an insight of what can happen in two years emotions wise.
Its two years tonight since my wifes current partners girlfriend turned up at my door to advise me of the bedroom olympics that had been going on. As this wasnt the first affair she had I basically left her 4 months later.
I thought that as soon as I left things would be ok because I would be away from all the things that were causing my angst..how wrong I could be.
The first couple of months were dire. She never admitted having an affair but three months after I left he moved in...doh or what.
She went on holiday summer 2006 with him but not her kids..summed her up I suppose. I went away with the kids which was fine and although I never asked them what was going on I always wanted to know. I would talk to anyone that was prepared to listen to what had gone on..cost me a couple of girlfriends I think.
There were then accusations that her new man was taking cocaine and steroids..he was living with my kids so that wasnt too funky..I had a National newspaper at my door wanting to run a story on him as he trains a prominent political figure..this set me back a couple of months.
Christmas was awful because I agreed that the kids could wake up on Christmas morning at their Mums. Dropping them off on Christmas Eve seeing his car outside my old house was a bloody killer. But hey they are with me this year!
Wasnt until after Xmas that things started to improve..heard that her new man had cheated on her already which was no surprise..the kids went on holiday with their Mum and him this summer but I knew when it didnt actually bother me that I knew I had cracked it.
The only thing that has happened recently was that my ex complains about being skint but last week a £30000.00 jeep turned up in her drive..but hey its only a car..and shes living with a cheat.
As far as my relationships with girls are concerned all I can say is that I have met lots of nice girls, havent even remotely been close to love yet..but Im having a ball. I sleep at night..I dont have to look over my shoulder wondering what she is doing...I have a smile on my face constantly..and I can do what I want when I want if I want and within reason with whom I want.
So all in all..nearly two years to really get over one the breakup of my family and the loss of my wife...but she was a cheat and a liar so she wasnt worth it. I have two fantastic happy kids that nobody can take away from me and I am just enjoying every minute with them as my Mum says..enjoy it..they are only on loan to you.
You hear the old saying it takes time..and it does.
I was in the gutter two years ago, I knew that I had to leave but I felt such an outcast and a failure. I thought I would never be happy again and that no girl would find me attractive..jings there are so many single people out there who just want to have a good time..and I am no Brad Pitt!!
Will I marry again..at this moment that has to be a no..I dont even think I am capable of living with someone again. Once you have slept alone all night in your bed for two years the thought of someone sharing it is really quite alien.
This board is to help folk like myself two years ago and I have regularly posted to help myself and also to help others and its quite important if you have no one else to talk to.
Im dating at the moment and its good fun..apparently shes not in love with me which is fantastic news..love just complicates things.
So tonight its childless as I have just had the kids for the past four nights...sit down with a cold beer and watch the magnificent Bravehearts of Scotland smash the World Cup runners up in Paris...well I am allowed to dream amnt I?
So if I can get through breakup anyone can because I always considered myself to be weak...but not anymore.......
Graham