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Old 15th March 2016, 01:50 PM   #1
Gigglegirl
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Thumbs down The right to sex when married?

My husband thinks tht because we are married he has the right to sex and that the reason people cheat is because there wife hasnt given them sex, am i wrong for thinking he sounds like an absoloute arsehole
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Old 15th March 2016, 03:40 PM   #2
chosen
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Re: The right to sex when married?

Withholding sex for long periods can make the other spouse more tempted to stray but there are many different reasons why people cheat. It depends what he means by 'the right' to have sex. No one has the right to force anyone to do something, but in a good marriage sex should be regular.
Personally I wouldnt reject my husband if he wanted to have sex.
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Old 15th March 2016, 04:34 PM   #3
Gigglegirl
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Re: The right to sex when married?

Thankyou, he thinks that as we are married its his right to have sex whenever he wants, all the time , i wouldnt reject him but do feel there is times if i dont feel ok and bot in the mood and happy/loved then when it comes to bedtime he then decide to make an effort but i feel like i cant switch it on and off if that makes sense, i wanted to hear an outsiders perspective.when im content with my husband sex isnt an issue do u think im being unreasonable?
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Old 15th March 2016, 05:53 PM   #4
chosen
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Re: The right to sex when married?

[QUOTE=Gigglegirl;88676]Thankyou, he thinks that as we are married its his right to have sex whenever he wants, all the time , i wouldnt reject him but do feel there is times if i dont feel ok and bot in the mood and happy/loved then when it comes to bedtime he then decide to make an effort but i feel like i cant switch it on and off if that makes sense, i wanted to hear an outsiders perspective.when im content with my husband sex isnt an issue do u think im being unreasonable?[/QUOTE]


I think that you need to communicate more about this. If you are feeling ill or very tired then I think it would be insensitive of him to expect sex. Also if both spouses sex drive is different then there needs to be compromise. If he has that attitude that you must have sex with him whenever he demands, that isnt going to make you feel loved. The best foreplay for a women is their husband helping out with the children, the washing up, the housework so that she feels he cares. He needs to know that a woman needs to feel loved to have sex with her husband. Tell him what he can do to make you feel loved.
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Old 16th March 2016, 11:56 AM   #5
Raymond
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Re: The right to sex when married?

It works the other way also. If the wife wants sex then one complies. It doesn't necessarily mean right now. It means making a decision and choosing a good time. Whilst it is a good thing to submit to sex out of love one is entitled to choose a convenient time and place for it. If I need sex then the same thing applies. One thing is sure, I would hate to have sex when my wife is not enjoying it as well. That would defeat the whole object and just make it selfish sex. It is a two way thing.
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Old 28th March 2016, 06:03 AM   #6
Foreverever
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Re: The right to sex when married?

If my wife does not let me, I usually just let her be. Having sex with anyone other than her feels wrong to me, however attractive they may be. The activity in itself does not mean much, I need to feel the connection with her.

Hope you and your husband can come to a compromise.
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Old 14th April 2016, 06:32 AM   #7
Slydoll
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Re: The right to sex when married?

Be thankful he expresses his needs to have sex....or want sex....
Try and ask him to be polite about it and let it flow with the moment so as you can both enjoy it..
Some of us out here we are in a sexless marriage and how I wish I could have it anytime I want ....
be strong don't let it get so serious
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Old 18th May 2016, 07:17 PM   #8
ralfgarnett
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Re: The right to sex when married?

I am extremely uncomfortable with any man that thinks just because he is married then he has the "right to sex" with his spouse willy nilly so to speak, women are equal human beings with rights and feelings and not just sex objects or pieces of meat for men to use to satisfy their lust, he is what you call him and he also sounds like a bully and a chauvinist, if a woman says no to sex married or not and a man insists against her will then this is rape, I once knew of a girl who was constantly raped by her husband and took her own life due to his vile abuses and the hell he put her through, you have rights as an equal human being, let it be known to him in no uncertain terms your feelings about this.
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Old 30th May 2016, 08:48 PM   #9
DeeDee
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Re: The right to sex when married?

One thing I learned from my husband's ex wife was that she had used the "marital rape" thing on him. This was one of the reasons he and she stopped having sex, along with her asking why he couldn't love her without having to have sex with her.

It blows my mind how many women deny their husband sex and wonder why he is the way he is to and with them. I feel that my husband has the right, and the obligation, to want me sexually as often as possible. I have never had any sexual trauma to deal with but, I believe a lot of women do and have.

Read the threads by women who want sex with their husbands and don't get it. Just as many women want sex, but aren't getting it, as there are women not wanting sex when their husband wants it.

I believe the church has done a great disservice to married couples by not promoting the benefits of sex within a marriage.

God created sex! It's a good thing!

Sex in marriage is not rape. It's sharing yourself with the one you love. Why can't people understand this?
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Old 31st May 2016, 09:02 AM   #10
Raymond
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Re: The right to sex when married?

You are right. God created sex and it is a good thing. Just because it shouldn't be outside marriage as the scripture enjoins that doesn't mean it shouldn't be great within marriage. One just has to read the Song of Solomon to see a celebration of sexual love.
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Old 5th June 2016, 11:48 PM   #11
chosen
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Re: The right to sex when married?

IN recent years there has been much Christian teaching and Christian books etc on sex and marriage. I have heard and read quite a few.
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Old 20th July 2016, 03:39 AM   #12
Eunice Pierson
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Re: The right to sex when married?

[QUOTE=Foreverever;88777]If my wife does not let me, I usually just let her be. Having sex with anyone other than her feels wrong to me, however attractive they may be. The activity in itself does not mean much, I need to feel the connection with her.

Hope you and your husband can come to a compromise.[/QUOTE]

You sound like my husband, I feel like he is the same in times when I don't feel like having sex. He's very understanding. I feel bad also when I have to turned him down so I make it a point that the next encounter would be more exciting and beautiful.
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Old 20th July 2016, 04:19 PM   #13
Liam
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Re: The right to sex when married?

Giggle girl:

I do not think anyone has a right to have sex, but if a wife never has sex with her spouse it is going to lead to problems.

Sex bonds men to their wives.

It sounds as if you are still having sex with him but just resent the fact that he has a higher sex drive than you do. I do not think your spouse has a valid argument.

I do think that a completely sexless marriage is a major reason why some men cheat.

My wife had refused sex for a ten year period. I never thought I would cheat, but then one day, after ten years of no sex, I met an attractive woman who had the same complaint about her husband and we eventually had an affair.

I would have been happy with sex a couple of times a month or even once a month. But no sex in ten years pushed me over the edge.
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Old 21st July 2016, 10:02 AM   #14
Raymond
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Re: The right to sex when married?

That's why the scripture says, speaking to both: make sure you come together so that you are not tempted. 1 Cor 7:5
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