Site Areas
Wedding Centre
Health Club
Marriage Clinic
Chapel
University
Citizen's Centre
Coffee Shop
Admin Centre

Contents
Articles
Books
CDs / Videos
Tips
Services

Resources
Forums
Membership
Contact Us
Site map
Link to Us

Search

Take the Couple Check-up!

Marriage Week UK

Marriage first aid

Online support for your marriage

Free Tell A Friend from Bravenet


Home > Forums
2-in-2-1 Discussion Forums  
Old 2nd June 2020, 05:34 AM   #1
Clorinda
Registered User
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7
Please help! Condom conundrum

My husband and I have been married for 11 years and, although we have had our ups and downs and he has carried flirting a bit too far, I have never believed him to be unfaithful and I am not a suspicious person. But today, after doing a load of his clothes, I found a used condom in the bottom of the washing machine. He denies any knowledge of how it got there. I'm praying about this really hard but am so torn inside. I don't know what to do. I don't want to accuse him but the fact is--it's there! Anyone have any suggestions?
Clorinda is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2nd June 2020, 05:35 AM   #2
Clorinda
Registered User
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7
Re: Please help! Condom conundrum

Update--I did ask him about it and he denies knowing where it came from. No one uses our washing machine and no one has been in our house.
Clorinda is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2nd June 2020, 06:42 PM   #3
Dave
Administrator
 
Join Date: May 2001
Posts: 1,389
Re: Please help! Condom conundrum

Clorinda,
That's a tough one - but you have taken the right first step - praying.


I think the next step is to share with your husband how much the incident is hurting on the inside - not in any way accusing him - just share honestly the pain and heartache - and how much all the turmoil inside is hurting you. Explain to him it will take some time for you to move on, and ask him to be understanding of you over the next few days.


And then it's back to prayer - you need to take the pain to the Lord, and ask him to give you the strength to forgive your husband, and to set aside this incident. Forgiveness depend wholly on grace - being willing to put this aside whether or not he has done something, has said sorry or not.


Of course, on a purely practical level you may want to see your doctor to be checked for any infections, just to be on the safe side.


I appreciate that what I have said may seem really challenging - but unless you can forgive, you start a spiral of suspicion and doubt that will eat away at you relationship just as surely as whatever he has/hasn't done. Just don't let the devil have a foothold!

Dave
Dave is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2nd June 2020, 09:47 PM   #4
Clorinda
Registered User
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7
Re: Please help! Condom conundrum

Dave
I appreciate so much your input. I am fasting and praying for 3 days and trying to do as you said. Please, you pray for me too. I've been at a friend's all day today and haven't spoken to him any yet. I will though. and, again, thank you.
Clorinda is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4th June 2020, 02:14 PM   #5
Clorinda
Registered User
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7
Re: Please help! Condom conundrum

Again, Dave, I can't thank you enough. He's still adamant that it wasn't his. It's very incriminating evidence but it's not really proof that he did anything. If it was his, I think, became scared enough of losing me that it'll never happen again. One thing for certain, I have never doubted his heart and how much he loves me; it would have been strictly sex. I am working through my pain and we are working things out.

Clorinda
Clorinda is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4th June 2020, 06:27 PM   #6
Dave
Administrator
 
Join Date: May 2001
Posts: 1,389
Re: Please help! Condom conundrum

Glad to hear you are making your way through this - forgiveness and gentleness are the key to re-building.


If you both work at this it can even strengthen and deepen your love for each other :-)


Dave
Dave is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 10:46 AM.


Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.


Top

Copyright 1999-2020 2-in-2-1 Limited. All rights reserved. Disclaimer