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Old 16th July 2010, 11:00 PM   #136
KS43
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 45
Re: Limbo No More

Hi Kathryn,

Just wanted to say hope your doing ok. Know the feeling when they leave. I sobbed my heart out for most of the time my son was away and paced the floor the rest of the time. Sorry not being much help but keeping busy does help.

Take your very important advice and remember the bubble bath!

x
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Old 17th July 2010, 01:52 AM   #137
mdmquincy
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Posts: 125
Re: Limbo No More

Well, a housewarming!.... since we are virtual friends I can give you a very lavish virtual gift... What'll it be? I'm thinking a music sculpture...

http://petersprague.com/awards/image...lpture_218.jpg

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_vTeJMwdZvd...+av.+J.C.).jpg

http://pianodna.com/01_images/IMG_6731_whiteLR.jpg


or something a bit larger?

http://cache.daylife.com/imageserve/...ljgcN/340x.jpg

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...gton,_D._C.jpg

http://www.instablogsimages.com/imag...pegasus_48.jpg

Now, I think about it. I don't want you putting my virtual gifts in the closet or regifting !

Love you,
Jennifer
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Old 18th July 2010, 11:35 AM   #138
UpandDown
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Posts: 293
Re: Limbo No More

Hi Jennifer

Thanks for the housewarming gifts - very nice! I got two tall flowers last night which I will kill within a week so your present probably has the most longevity!!

Exams went okay yesterday. Had the chief examiner so that was a bit nerve wracking. Will also mean the grades will be a bit lower as he is hard to impress. Will know in two weeks.

Had a lovely housewarming and made everyone eat of plastic plates with plastic cutlery and plastic cups so hardly any washing up!

KS - just off to have a bath!!!

Love Kathryn
x
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Old 21st July 2010, 09:56 AM   #139
UpandDown
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Re: Limbo No More

I was just logging on to post that I am sending back my keys today and how upset I am when my neighbour came round to tell me his wife died on Sunday. So now I'm crying about that.

Puts everything into perspective!
x
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Old 22nd July 2010, 01:26 PM   #140
Wiggle
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Re: Limbo No More

Hi Kathryn,

I've got three days annual leave this week so typing from my bro's place. I had intended to hit the beach before the schools broke up, but the weather is not as per the forecast...

Was this the chap you mentioned on Satruday evening, who's wife was terminally ill?

Sorry to hear about that, and having to send your keys back. It just rubs it in a bit more.

Hope everyhting else is ok, and the flowers are surviving!

Huge hugs,

Axxx
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Old 22nd July 2010, 08:25 PM   #141
UpandDown
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Posts: 293
Re: Limbo No More

Feeling really low right now. I think it's a combination of a lot of things. I'm really missing Dan now, worse since the neighbour died. Tomorrow night is the first time I am taking the boys to Dan's house and I'm not sure how I'll cope (up until now he's always collected them from me.) I've also just found out I will be home alone with the children on Saturday 31st which is our wedding anniversary. Today I taught my last lesson too.....so much has changed and none of it has been my choice.

On top of that my back has been so bad this week I could barely swim on Tuesday and I now have to forgoe swimming tomorrow so I can go to the doctors. Starting to panic about how I will cope if my back stays this bad.

Feel unutterably lonely and have creditors calling endlessly.

Arghhhh

x
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Old 22nd July 2010, 09:07 PM   #142
Wiggle
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Re: Limbo No More

Hi Kathryn,

I'm sorry to hear you're having a rough one. Wwe feel we're doing well, and then as you say a combination of things will just knock us back a bit...

Why is is your last lesson?

Your back sounds awful. I don't know if I could cope with that constant pain, let alone look after two toddlers too .

Are there any freinds, neighbours you could go to / come around on the 31st to distract you? I'd offer but I'm moving to flat #1 that week (move no. 3...).

Not quite the same as having someone there, but sending you a big hug.

Bubble bath, wine and some music / good film?

Axxx
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Old 23rd July 2010, 06:18 PM   #143
UpandDown
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Posts: 293
Re: Limbo No More

Hi everyone

Went to the doctors this morning and got a painkillling patch (??!), sent to the hospital for xrays and am on the waiting list for counselling.

A good day in that respect! On the downside I only have a few hours of child free time to recuperate and try and rest my back and the housework all has to be done! MIght have to skip that.

Kids just gone - feel like my heart is being ripped out each time. When does that get better? At least I didn't have to take them. I asked him to come here because I didn't know how I would get on with the patch.

My plan is a bubble bath (of course!!) and an early night.

Thinking hard about 31st.

Love Kathryn
x

PS Wiggle I am now officially living off the state so have given up work for a bit :-(
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Old 24th July 2010, 03:07 AM   #144
mdmquincy
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Re: Limbo No More

Wish I was closer to you all. We all need to lean a bit for now, but in no team we would be a fighting force. Kathryn, I am so sorry to hear that your back is down. I know how bad the emotional pain is, can't imagine physical pain to boot. You are nothing short of amazing. I love you.
Jen
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Old 25th July 2010, 06:22 PM   #145
UpandDown
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Re: Limbo No More

Hi everyone

Put the patch on at 4pm Friday. Started feeling sick Saturday morning so started taking the anti-sickness medication. It got so bad though that I had to take the patch off at 2pm Saturday and I have continued to throw up for 24 hours after that!! Had to go to the hospital for an injection but it didn't stop it. Luckily my parents had the boys today for me.

On the plus side I was pain free for a day and a half!!!

Anyway, I learnt a bit more about my parents and my friend Karen and it's all coming together about me needing to be around people with good boundaries if I want to develop my own good boundaries.

Also reinforced the fact that Dan really couldn't care less!

Love Kathryn
x
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Old 27th July 2010, 11:03 AM   #146
UpandDown
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Re: Limbo No More

My students got mostly Distinctions in their exams (2 Merits) so I am thrilled. Rounds off my working life nicely for now!
x
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Old 27th July 2010, 08:07 PM   #147
UpandDown
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Re: Limbo No More

Rode the rollercoaster a bit today. Dan sent a text - straightforward for information. A couple of texts later info was all exchanged and he sent just one extra text than what he normal would and what he needed.....

It is ridiculous that such a small thing can throw a person off so much.

I have made up for it by inviting my single friend George (who I haven't seen for 10 years and who I turned down for Dan!!) to my birthday murder mystery in September. Hah!

x
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Old 27th July 2010, 09:26 PM   #148
Wiggle
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Re: Limbo No More

Hi Kathryn,

Can't beleive the patch made you that ill! I hope all that's settled down now? Glad you're on the list for counselling - my counsellor had an unexpected cancellation so I was lucky and got in earlier than I was expecting.

Dan texting - yep, that would through one's mind in contortions. Is he finally having doubts and was dipping his toe in the water, so to speak? Or does he just want to be friends? There's a gentle indent in my old brick wall at about head height...

I like the revenge! Regretably I didn't turn anyone down for my ex. Does Dan know about that?

Big hugs,
Aaxx
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Old 28th July 2010, 07:31 AM   #149
UpandDown
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 293
Re: Limbo No More

Hi Wiggle

It's funny that a text that just said something along the lines of "no problem" should cause me such an issue!! It's the first time he's had that extra bit of contact. Having said that, it was a little blip and I'm okay now. I just hate that it set me off thinking he might be having a change of heart!!!

I haven't told Dan about George coming to my murder mystery but then he doesn't even know I'm having a murder mystery! He knows I've spoken to George. I don't think anything would happen with George though as he's been through a divorce and when I asked what he'd learned about himself from it he said nothing....possibly out of the frying pan and into the fire?

Love Kathryn
x
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Old 28th July 2010, 09:49 AM   #150
mangonpineapple
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Posts: 84
Re: Limbo No More

Hi kathryn,



I have been catching up with your news. I've been away for a bit. I really empathise and know how you are feeling when you have health problems on top of the heartache. The thing to remember is not to panic. Things WILL be ok. They really will. I have been in a similar position - moving, solicitors, physical pain and a wedding anniversary all mixed in with hope (that things will change and the old life will be restored) and panic (what will become of me?). I remember our anniversary as it was strange not to be together and I cracked my arm in a fall in the evening! I was in pain. Of course, I heard nothing from him. I was not expecting to, but the silence really did underline something for me. I knew that there was no point in trying to save my marriage. It was gone. I had to relax into the loss and embrace whatever came with it. Do you remember when your nightmare started? You didn't think that you could make it this far, did you? Well, you have made it and you will make it and life will be good again.



The texts! Do not read anything into what he writes. If he texts more than usual, do not think of it as a sign that maybe he is having second thoughts. This sort of thinking can really set you back and you do not need it. Even if he were having second thoughts, he would have to put in a lot more effort and show you through actions, that he wanted to try again. Just get on with your plans without him and stay on that path firmly! If you can, could you plan something with friends over at yours, plus George and lots of wine? Could you make it a great big whacking celebration of who you are, how well you have coped and how lovely it is to have your boys?



Hugs xxx

M
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