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Old 31st August 2010, 11:56 AM   #16
UpandDown
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 293
Re: Husband had an affair and is denying it

Just seen it. Note to everyone - it would hurt him more if you say the song and the voice aren't very good!!!

Probably best we all just restrain ourselves though, otherwise he'll get suspicious. Having said that, Ann has had a bad experience in the area of affairs so maybe it wouldn't be that strange to have such strong feelings. I do think though that doing more than just commenting once does make it seem like you know him.......a complete stranger wouldn't care.

As long as he can't trace it back to me I really don't care.

Love you all!
x
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Old 31st August 2010, 07:39 PM   #17
UpandDown
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Re: Husband had an affair and is denying it

Just a quick update - having read his comments to Ann I think he definitely posted the song because he thinks it's good, not because he wants to communicate with anyone. He will pretend the song words are irrelevant.

I would prefer if people didn't comment as I don't want him to get suspicious.

Thanks!
Love Kathryn
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Old 31st August 2010, 09:39 PM   #18
Annie
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Re: Husband had an affair and is denying it

sorry, i just got a bit carried away xx
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Old 2nd September 2010, 02:49 PM   #19
Wiggle
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Re: Husband had an affair and is denying it

Hi Kathryn,

Been reading your thread but didn't click on the link, so now I've missed the chance to hear his tune! It does sound very bizarre, and as you say like a total teenager. The man is not in his right mind.

Hope you and the boys are enjoying the fabulous weather!

Huge hugs,

Aaxx
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Old 7th September 2010, 10:53 AM   #20
Annie
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Re: Husband had an affair and is denying it

Quote:
Originally Posted by UpandDown View Post
Well done Ann! BTW please let me know on my thread what went on with Dan in the end. I saw he took the song off altogether. He's now blaming me for Linda dumping him....go figure!!
x
aw yes, we got into quite discussion on you tube..he initially kept deleting my comments so I asked him why cos obviously by posting on the site he was inviting them! I told him that I did nt think that such a public site was the right place to be airing his dirty washing..he said how can I judge him when I dont know him so I replied that his song lyrics made it quite clear what he was up to !! The video was getting lots of views and then he took it off....
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Old 7th September 2010, 09:39 PM   #21
UpandDown
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Re: Husband had an affair and is denying it

Thanks Ann.

He was in a terrible mood last week. He told me he was upset with me for telling Paul (Linda's husband) about the bankruptcy and also that he was violent. He believed that those comments I made which were passed from Paul back to Linda contributed to her wanting to break up with him. When I said "but surely Linda knew about the bankruptcy anyway" and he said "yes, yes, of course" very hurriedly but apparently I don't know what Paul's like and it's the way he would have put it to her.

I can't believe he isn't even taking resposibility for the failure of his relationship with Linda!!

The funny thing is that both those comments were said in passing and I barely remember saying them. The first was in the context of me saying I couldn't believe Linda would want to be with Dan over Paul then I listed the reasons why and the second was Paul was telling me how Linda was trying to make out he was violent. I had had this in a text from Dan too and I just said something along the lines of "Dan's not perfect - he's been violent in the past." Now anyone can read what happened there on my thread and if Paul had asked me more I would have explained the ins and outs of it, but the whole conversation was very fast and furious as we were both upset and shocked. I barely even remember saying the comments.

Anyway, Dan has now asked me to be careful what I say to people!!! I told him I'll say what I need to to my friends to help me through this situation. He then said he would tell his side of it to our friends when they have a go (as this one girl did over the song) and I said "say what you like" which I think he was surprised at. The things is all my friends know everything and if they don't there's nothing I wouldn't be happy them knowing. He's the one who doesn't talk to anyone.

He was also upset because he "felt uncomfortable" round our best couple friends when he had to drop the boys there the other week. But the thing is, he has done wrong. He has treated me badly and people make their own judgements about that. I told him he shouldn't have cut himself off from them and his answer was they should come to him to hear his side of the story!!

When he said he was upset because of X, Y and Z I said I was upset he slept with Linda. The second time he said it I said I was upset he appeared to be grieving more for his relationship with her than for our marriage. He said his usual "how do you know what I'm feeling" which is similar to what he used to do all the time. Whenever I got near the knuckle he used to get sooo defensive and try and turn everything around on me.

He had hurt is back too so when he dropped the boys off on Saturday he was very black in his mood. So Alone was also there and of course he has no idea who she is so that was excellent too. She helped me to do the bright and breezy thing which I haven't been able to do up until now.

I know it sounds selfish but I really hope this is the start of one of his really low depression cycles so other people can see it and he can see it's not me.

He's a pathetic 19 year old in my eyes now. I am definitely seeing him for who he really is and not liking it at all.

Love Kathryn
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Old 8th September 2010, 12:07 PM   #22
UpandDown
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Re: Husband had an affair and is denying it

Just a little further update - I spoke to the Official Receiver today and it all went really well. I shouldn't have to do any more and I can even keep my car! Yay!
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Old 9th September 2010, 04:18 AM   #23
mdmquincy
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Re: Husband had an affair and is denying it

Checking in on you, sweets...

Dan is a total w*nker. Dead on, and he doesn't deserve someone as lovely as you. You are a total fox, independent, smart, capable. He is a child, and I know as well as anyone how it feels to wish that weren't so. So far, wishing hasn't gotten me far. My counselor keeps telling me that there will come a time when I am ready to write the whole thing off. Sounds like you are headed that way, heart in hand, eyes set to the future. I do think so much of your strength and candid reflection.

When you find the man that replaces Dan, he will be a mere memory to you. For him, it will be a lifetime opportunity lost.

I love you totally!!!
J

***and I really wish I had heard the crappy song
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Old 9th September 2010, 04:31 PM   #24
Annie
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Re: Husband had an affair and is denying it

Ann Cooper Fair point, but I think to delete my comments without debate is a clue in itself, would you leave them up, even for a few days to see what other feedback you get ??

Our Secret by Dan Curtis
Source: www.youtube.com?hl=en-GB
None
31 August at 10:05 via YouTube Comment Like

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Ann Cooper The words of the song are lovely but I feel for whoever will have the heartache once "our secret" is out.

Our Secret by Dan Curtis
Source: www.youtube.com?hl=en-GB
None
31 August at 09:48 via YouTube Comment Like

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Ann Cooper i dont know you but the words of the song make it clear that you have a "secret" love affair going on, is this the kind of place to be broadcasting this, as I said earlier this is a global site and if you plaster your emotions all over here then y...

Our Secret by Dan Curtis
Source: www.youtube.com?hl=en-GB
None
31 August at 09:45 via YouTube Comment Like

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Ann Cooper I dont understand why you keep removing my comment...I feel its a fair judgement, if you are relating to your own experience then surely by the sheer fact you have posted on a global site like this you are inviting comment, just because you don't ...

Our Secret by Dan Curtis
Source: www.youtube.com?hl=en-GB
None
31 August at 09:38 via YouTube Comment Like

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Ann Cooper well well well..who's been a naughty boy then? Hope you get all you deserve!! I like the words but a bit too close to home for me, however your voice is dreadful

Our Secret by Dan Curtis
Source: www.youtube.com?hl=en-GB
None

This is my side of the comments I wrote, all his dont show on my facebook wall
xx
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