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Old 2nd July 2004, 03:54 AM   #1
Caroli
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 2
masturbation, porn and marriage

I am going to get married soon and we, my fiancé am me, have been talking a lot about different issues. Two of them, porn and masturbation. I am confused about that now and I wish that I could hear what other people think about it and I would appreciate if other people share their experiences with me.



He said that he can see himself masturbating and looking at his porn after we get married. He said that for him masturbating and having sex with me are two different issues.



Unfortunately, I don’t feel comfortable about that. When I know that he has been masturbating it’s kind of difficult for me to feel aroused, it’s just something that turn me off. I can not understand why if I am there for him he needs to masturbate sometimes. That made me feel like not enough for him. It’s not weird that you need to look at other naked bodies when you can be sharing your body with your wife?. What is the difference between cheat on me and look at porn? Anyways, he is looking another naked women, maybe he is not interacting with them but he is thinking about them when he is masturbating.



Our sexual life until now has been really good. I know that he doesn’t want to hurt me and when he saw that I was not feeling comfortable about that he deleted his porn from his computer. However, he said to me that he wants to be honest with me, that he miss his porn and that he thinks that when we are going to be married maybe he wants to look at your porn and masturbate from time to time (“If I have a high sex drive I don’t think it would hurt our relationship if I masturbated 2 or even occasionally 3 times a week, although I do not foresee it happening to that frequency’).



He said that is something completely normal for a guy to look at porn, even if he is married. He said that “Most men hide porn from their wives Because they know they cannot talk with them about without them trying to make the husband feel guilty or hurt themselves so they hide it because it is just something that they feel that they have to do”.



Am I doing a big deal of something that is a stupid thing? I wish I could hear the experiences of married woman and man that needed to deal (or are dealing) with this kind of problems.



I really appreciate your comments,



Carol
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