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20th February 2013, 06:48 PM
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#286
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 89
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Re: Please Help Me...
Very sorry to hear this Intact. Your wife is screwed up. Forget her!
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20th February 2013, 08:45 PM
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#287
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Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,409
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Re: Please Help Me...
She is being unbelievably callous Intact. That does not make it the right decision at all.
Sorry to hear about your father. He is right about family but you cannot swing that on your own. It takes two, but she is not playing ball just now and is heading for adultery by the look of it.
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20th February 2013, 09:03 PM
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#288
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,794
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Re: Please Help Me...
I am so sorry. She is selfish and cruel.
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25th February 2013, 08:59 AM
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#289
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Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 5
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Re: Please Help Me...
I suggest you for your marriage help and i am sure it will be very helpful for you. Visit
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19th March 2013, 10:28 AM
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#290
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Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 140
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Re: Please Help Me...
Just thought I'd give an update as people on this forum were very good too me.
Basically after my dads death I have completely given up on our marriage. I felt that I could get past an affair but I know the fact she wasn't there for me when my dad died is a huge deal breaker for me.
She continues to see OM and tells anyone that will listen how special he makes her feel, how happy she is etc etc.
My relationship with my Son has never been better - we are closer than ever - meanwhile her relationship with our son is at an all time low. He swears at her, plays her up and blames her for all that has gone on. I think he always will.
I of course, still miss and love my wife, but the truth is I deserve better and one day I will find it.
My friends have been amazing and have been a great comfort too me. In fact at my dads funeral, I walked into the church and the first people I saw was a row of 6 of my friends - people who had never met my dad but were there for me. These are true friends.
I do hope that one day my wife looks back full of regret - it may seem petty but I would look at that as some kind of victory.
I want to send a massive thank you to everyone on here who offered me advice and support. Whilst I went through the most difficult time of my life - I never walked alone.
Last edited by Intact27; 19th March 2013 at 10:34 AM.
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19th March 2013, 10:55 AM
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#291
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 89
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Re: Please Help Me...
Intact, you have coped very well with everything that has been thrown at you in recent months.
I am very glad to hear your relationship with your son is so strong. I am sure this means so much to you. Your son only has one mum though. I encourage you to help him see that your mum has made some BIG mistakes but that she is still his mum and that relationship should not break down if at all possible.
You do indeed deserve better than what your wife bestowed upon you. All I can say is start to forget her now and move on with your life, as you will find somebody better one day.
Good Luck and best wishes to you and your son.
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19th March 2013, 02:11 PM
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#292
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Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,409
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Re: Please Help Me...
I can agree with that Intact. Marriages need faithfulness to prosper and if that is not there you did not have much choice.
I agree with Snowmike's advice about admitting to your son that she had problems but not to the extent where you will be putting her down too much, as as pointed out she is the only mother your son has and one cannot change that.
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19th March 2013, 05:51 PM
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#293
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,794
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Re: Please Help Me...
INtact thats good news that you are movng on more now and that you had such amazing support from friends.
You wife has been very very stupid, not only loosing you, but possibly also loosing her son. Why do people do it? I will never understand.
Its your sons decision as to what sort of relationship he has with his mother. All you can do is not speak negatively about her in front of him. He is bound to feel hurt and angry, she has destroyed his family and security. He will need time to work throuh his feelings. He has you and that is important.
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20th March 2013, 09:21 AM
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#294
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 89
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Re: Please Help Me...
Quote:
Originally Posted by chosen
you wife has been very very stupid, not only loosing you, but possibly also loosing her son. Why do people do it? I will never understand.
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selfishness
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20th March 2013, 02:03 PM
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#295
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,794
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Re: Please Help Me...
Quote:
Originally Posted by snowmike
selfishness
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Yes selfishness, only thinking of oneself, not being prepared to be committed or faithful, or to keep the promises made at marriage. Me me me.
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20th March 2013, 03:57 PM
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#296
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Guest
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Re: Please Help Me...
Hi there, I have read through your thread, and was surprised to find your story almost identical to mine. So sorry to hear about the loss of your father who was so close to you. That is such a hard thing to go through. 3 years ago my mother passed away who was my best friend, I talked to her almost every day on the phone, so it was really hard for me losing my best friend.
I have been married to my husband for 8 years and he just told me he no longer is in love with me, just doesn't feel that spark there anymore, doesn't care for me, etc, etc. Completely caught me off guard and now I am in the situation of waiting around for him to come around or leaving him. sorry for rambling on
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17th April 2013, 01:42 PM
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#297
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 89
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Re: Please Help Me...
Hey Intact, just wondered how you are doing?
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27th April 2013, 11:22 AM
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#298
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Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 140
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Re: Please Help Me...
Hi snowmike
I'm pretty good thanks - for the most part I'm living life to the full and enjoying it - there are of course times when I miss my wife...
Wife is still very much on the fog with the other man and enthusiastically tells anyone who listens how much they are in love etc. I still feel she will wake up one day and realise the damage she has caused.
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27th April 2013, 12:24 PM
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#299
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,794
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Re: Please Help Me...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Intact27
Hi snowmike
I'm pretty good thanks - for the most part I'm living life to the full and enjoying it - there are of course times when I miss my wife...
Wife is still very much on the fog with the other man and enthusiastically tells anyone who listens how much they are in love etc. I still feel she will wake up one day and realise the damage she has caused.
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The will both wake up one day I expect.
Maybe when one of them cheats on the other, which is very likely.
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5th May 2013, 07:02 PM
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#300
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 89
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Re: Please Help Me...
Sounds good Intact, see my thread for how well I am doing
- my wife had an 18 month affair.
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