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Old 30th March 2009, 01:16 PM   #1
the_phat_controlleruk
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Need some advice, not sure what to do.

I am desperately in love with my wife, so much so I would find it very hard to adjust if we were to seperate. The problem is I haven't been paying her the attention she needs, she has always put herself out for me, done things for me to "please" me. On the flipside I can't say I have done the same, It's almost like becoming comfortable with the whole marriage situation, almost like, well I have you know, time to chill out. My wife had an affair a few years ago (Because of me) and we worked through it, she moved job, and we sold the house and moved to a completely new area. I thought everything was fine, however, last year she went home for a couple of weeks. It was then that she realised how much she does, when she came back home she vented her frustration, I could see her point of view but only when it was spelled out for me. That situation has now changed and I am doing more for her. Her mum died very suddenly a couple of years ago and I don't think she has ever come to terms properly the loss, her mum was quite young when she died (55) and my wife and her mum were very close. We had a set to recently about my wife's car, the car was having problems and she asked me to sort it out, I don't know why but I didn't. She went to her dad's with the kids and the car packed up, her dad had already gone out so she was stuck. She broke down uncoontrolabbly in the car and got her brother to help. This prompted her to buy a new car and dumbass here got upset because she didn't involve me (can't blame her really). I love my wife so much, but as she says, love isn't everything. I found an email on her machine from a friend she has from back home, and it's all about someone she had feelings for, she says that she feels trapped and that one day her lock will get picked. I don't mean to do the things I do, I'm not a malicious person, I just don't think! I don't want to lose my wife and would do anything to remedy the situation, would seeking some sort of help be of use? My wife is a wonderful person, loving, caring etc, I can see it but I just don't appreciate it properly. What I am afraid of is her finally walking out and calling it a day, I want to "get in there" before this happens and try and sort things out. I wanted to suggest we renew our wedding vows, but now I am not so sure about the reaction I will get from my wife.

Last edited by the_phat_controlleruk; 30th March 2009 at 01:29 PM.
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Old 30th March 2009, 08:42 PM   #2
Raymond
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Join Date: Dec 2006
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Re: Need some advice, not sure what to do.

It is all about love actually but not just the feeling of it tpc. You need to show love in practical ways as well. Just now you are thinking these things through and need to learn to love her all round. She needs appreciation for what she does and she needs understanding and practical help as well.

You know what is wrong already so now is the time to get going on it before it is too late. No more putting things off. I think if you concentrate on it a little more instead of being selfish you will begin to get somewhere and save your marriage before it is too late.

Wives are precious the most precious person we have. The absolute main thing for a husband in a marriage is to love his wife and all that that entails. If you stick to that you cannot go wrong. It is not easy but you can do it.

Raymond
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