Advice and support needed please.

[WishfulThinking]

Originally Posted by Forever

Who got what so wrong? That he thought you did not love him or care about him??? If that were the case, your reassurances from the time he left till now have proven him wrong...even in the face of what you are believing about a possible affair!

I don't know. He said (I think) how did I make such a mess of all this, how did I get it so wrong.

Not sure re-assurances are proof, It could just be seen as me harassing him with it I suppose, although I think perhaps the way I have behaved around him and my actions probably have shown him more. He does acknowledge the truth of it now though, which may lead him to consider his own behaviour, the withdrawal etc, again.

Or if there ever were an affair, he might be wondering what the heck he ever saw in her now that he is sharing her house! Hahaha!

Well, it certainly hasn't taken long for the gloss to wear off has it, if that is indeed the case.

[WishfulThinking]

Another sleepless night last night..I'm not sure why. Things going around in my head, I'm not sure what to think.

He has rung twice this morning, the first time to speak to youngest about the match ticket, but he had already gone to work so the conversation was brief. The second time to speak to eldest. It seems he had already called into work and found he didn't start until 10 so rang him here instead. I don't really know what was said, but no arrangements have been made as yet, I think he is calling in to see our son later in the day, but it could be some time before they actually meet up. Even then I doubt I'll find out much.

I'm thinking this was really all about the boys and his relationship with them. Maybe that is what he needs in order to be able to settle in his new life, I don't know. On the other hand, he couldn't just walk back in here if the boys were antagonistic towards him so it's an important step to take regardless of his intentions at the moment. I'm going to have to be patient I know.

[Raymond]

Yes we don't really know. The best spin on it is that he wants to smooth the way with them perhaps as a way back into the marriage.

The worst spin of course is that he wants to put his side and win them over into a reasonable relationship.

I am tending to believe the former at the moment but none of us can work these things out in advance. That he was in tears about getting it wrong must signal a change in attitude somewhere.

[WishfulThinking]

Oh Raymond, more and more today I am having a 'he did have an affair' day. He cried too when he visited home a few weeks ago, and then he quite matter of factly told me any concern and emotion was for the boys only.

Maybe he, like me, is changing from day to day too..one day with regrets, another quite happy with his choice? Maybe the regrets too are just about the damage to his relationship with the boys. It was one of the things I touched on in my letter. Mind you, it was me who made contact about the boys yesterday, he hadn't instigated anything himself.

I suppose, and hope, I will get at least some answers one day. It has now been 4 weeks since he left.

[Raymond]

You will have your answer WT. It has to come one way or the other. There is still no absolute proof of anything. Maybe it will come through the boys somehow. If he shares with the oldest there will be some inkling as to where things are going. He has your letter so it is best to let it ride for a while and try not to be too anxious. I am sure that the true picture will emerge in the not too distant future. I'd practice a little independence for a while. You don't want to slip into dependency. I'd concentrate on having a good Christmas with the boys and deal with the other as it comes up.

[Forever]

My ex cried bitter tears when he told me he wanted a divorce. His concern was for what would be left of him financially and how our children would view his decision. He never though, said that he may have "got it wrong". So that is clearly a bright light in a dark place for you.

Once, about a year after I had moved out with all the children (he put us up in a nice condo), he came around and sat in the chair and just stared at me. I asked him what he wanted...he said that he wanted to see if I was "stable" and doing relatively well...so that he could feel free to move forward and file for divorce.

I said "do what you need to do". End of story.

[WishfulThinking]

Originally Posted by Raymond

You will have your answer WT. It has to come one way or the other. There is still no absolute proof of anything. Maybe it will come through the boys somehow. If he shares with the oldest there will be some inkling as to where things are going. He has your letter so it is best to let it ride for a while and try not to be too anxious. I am sure that the true picture will emerge in the not too distant future. I'd practice a little independence for a while. You don't want to slip into dependency. I'd concentrate on having a good Christmas with the boys and deal with the other as it comes up.

You are right Raymond. I know I just have to get on with this now and make sure everything is sorted for Christmas.

Originally Posted by Forever

My ex cried bitter tears when he told me he wanted a divorce. His concern was for what would be left of him financially and how our children would view his decision. He never though, said that he may have "got it wrong". So that is clearly a bright light in a dark place for you.

Once, about a year after I had moved out with all the children (he put us up in a nice condo), he came around and sat in the chair and just stared at me. I asked him what he wanted...he said that he wanted to see if I was "stable" and doing relatively well...so that he could feel free to move forward and file for divorce.

I said "do what you need to do". End of story.

How awful Forever.

I think he said he'd got it wrong in there somewhere, but maybe he was referring to the boys, the eldest in particular, after all the boys were all we talked about. Maybe he just thought I'd been 'brilliant' as I'd tried to help him with his relationship with the boys rather than setting them against him. I just don't know, the outburst saying he's mad a mess and got it all wrong came straight after the acnowledgement that I loved him, so, who knows?

I'm thinking too I may have given him a slight wrong impression about the eldest. Yes, he did mention he hadn't heard from his Dad at all, but I'm not too sure he cares so much. Both boys are angry with him, in different ways. The youngest overtly so, the eldest says nothing. Apparantly though the youngest told me eldest was very angry, angry that his Dad didn't even try, didn't talk to me, didn't try to make it work, didn't try counselling and so on. He did tell me a few weeks ago that when he saw his Dad he wanted some answers. After they'd met up at the match, I did ask if he'd got any answers and he just replied he hadn't had chance to talk to him about anything.

So today, he popped in to see both the boys at work and asked them separately to meet up with him sometime. Nothing was arranged, it was left with each of them that they'd contact him sometime next week.

I also learned though that he'd told youngest that there was no transport on Boxing Day (true) so there was no point in him giving him his ticket as he wouldn't be able to get there. However, it also turns out that he asked eldest for his ticket instead, so it looks like husband has arranged to go with a friend (using eldest's ticket for the friend). Youngest hasn't been invited to join them even though he has a ticket and no way of getting there as he doesn't drive. Understandably he is angry about this too. The first thing he did when he came in from work was to check if there were any trains as he suspected his Dad had lied to him..again..just like he had on the trip to France. He hadn't lied, but this just shows how youngest perceives him now. I don't think eldest was impressed either.
When it was suggested by us that son asked his Dad to take him too, he just said (angrily of course) he didn't want to go with him. Hmmmmm
Now, it may be that husband hasn't realized youngest has his own ticket, he may have thought he was going to use his brothers...but even so, he didn't offer to take his son instead of his friend. There would be no-one to share the driving with and it is quite a distance...but still. (Sorry if this is all a little confusing. Husband and eldest have a season ticket which allows entry to all matches. Youngest just buys the odd ticket when he can go as he is generally working on match days.)

Now it was when I mentionned that eldest had remarked that his Dad had never tried to contact him and my response to my son that he broke down, said he'd made a mess of things, questionned how he'd got it so wrong. Thinking about it he may have thought eldest really wanted to see him and I don't really think that is the case. I don't think he is viewing his father in a favourable light at the moment.

He really has badly damaged his relationship with his sons, maybe when he realizes this and just how much, he will give up and move on.

It seems he is busy socially though, meeting up with either of the boys tonight wasn't one of the options..both are free and at home now. Husband must be busy though, in addition to his regular week nights out.
I really don't think he has much time to reflect on anything. He just gets on with other things and pushes it to the back of his mind.

[WishfulThinking]

Firstly, I just want to say that it may appear that I am here continually wallowing in self pity, going around in circles, and not listening to any of the good advice that has been given by all of you. Although maybe that is partly true, (my constantly changing emotions, perceptions, and the fact I think about him/the relationship virtually every waking moment), I am listening and I'm grateful. Maybe it's because I don't have anyone else to talk to and writing it all down and receiving feedback is really helping me. Thankyou.

Things are changing slowly though. So far I now go out twice a week, to the exercise and pottery classes. I'm not overly enthusiastic at the moment but I am sticking with it. I've cleared out a few kitchen cupboards, and ruthlessly been through my wardrobe (not his!) and bagged a lot of clothes for charity shops. I've bought wool and started once again to take up knitting in the evenings. I've made a start too on ordering some Christmas presents for the boys. I've also let my mother know we won't be going for Christmas and did tell her that the boys would prefer to spend Christmas here. I haven't closed the door there either, we are still speaking, although I haven't spoken to either my brother or sister since the 'fall out'. My Mother's latest though has been to send quite a large amount of money (with my sister's help because of online banking )to help pay off the credit cards, so of course I now feel somewhat beholden. I did tell her that I didn't want it, that we weren't behind with payments, that I had enough to cover them and also that I still thought there was a chance my husband would come back, so in effect it might not just be me she was giving the money to.

To-day I woke up with the full realization of how my attitude and behaviour towards him at times would have convinced him I really didn't care at all about him. At times, in the past, just at that moment in time, I think I probably didn't care either...for whatever reason, I just don't know. This, on top of his ED problems, would have made him feel totally unwanted so there was little left for him to do but retreat until he eventually felt that there was nothing left for him to do but walk out. Even pushed him perhaps to find affection and approval anywhere he could get it. He had thoroughly convinced himself that any protestions on my part by this time were just words, just superficial.

In turn, this has also made me feel responsible for the way the boys now view their Father. They have turned cold on him firstly because he walked out and secondly of course because they have seen first hand what his departure has done to me. I have tried, from time to time, to tell them I was partly responsible by my actions, but really feel there is a lot of work to do to repair the damge there. Sadly, now this has happened, the memories will always be there and their parents marriage and example for them has been totally shattered.

My other concern today is this. When we first met, he was waiting for the decree absolute. His wife wife was living with another man. She married him as soon as the divorce came through. We married two years later.

So we were seeing each other for 3 years or so. During this time though we did split a couple of times. The first time after a few months. He felt he was getting too close, too involved, so pulled away. I suspect a great deal of this had to do with the divorce, his mixed emotions, and also feared rushing into a another relationship so soon. The second time we split though had more to do with the Catholic aspect (in part, also a factor of the first split). He felt that I was a young Catholic woman, from a strong Catholic family and he couldn't be responsible for causing me to 'sin' as well and damage my relationship with the Church and God.

We only got together again each time because I (like OW) 'accidently bumped into' him a few times when we were apart. After the second time he seemed to do a lot of soul searching and then accept that our relationship was 'meant to be' and there were no further issues. I think though his Mother (now deceased) helped too. She told him for example that God wouldn't want to punish either of us, wouldn't want him to live the rest of his life alone and unhappy as a result of something that wasn't his fault. To take his chance of happiness now that it had been given to him etc.

Since he left, he has not seen me emotional at all. He has seen me as calm and getting on with my life without him, coping well and so on..as you all know, so not true.
What if he now thinks I am doing well without him and am therefore better off? The way he thought I was better off without him when wwe were first seeing each other. What if he thinks too much has gone on to be forgiven? Or that if he returns home there will be so many recriminations and other hurdles to overcome that the experience will be too distressing and ultimately lead him to having to leave again?

I am not at all weepy today (so far anyway). I am wondering if my part in all this..driving him away and probably really not caring enough at times can be forgiven (by God) enough to allow me another chance after the fallout with both my husband and sons that this has all caused. Just wondering too, what, if anything, I can do to make this all right again.

[Raymond]

Don't let any condemnation come in WT. Weakness and what if's are not sin. God works with us as we are and forgives when we need it if we repent. If we walk in the light the blood of Christ cleanses us from all sin. Too much introspection is not helpful as we nearly always don't see things clearly. We have to ask God to search us with His Holy Spirit to see if there is anything blocking His favour, but this is always progressive. He doesn't deal with everything in one go. He is gentle and touches those things we can do something about. The enemy will niggle at us about things that we cannot change now but that is not God's way.

It is good that you see where you might have gone wrong. I assume you have conveyed this to your husband. That is all you can do. The ball is in his court. He could have talked and worked it out instead of just leaving but maybe that is his weakness. He reacts with feelings instead of getting to the root of things.

It is not God's will that this marriage ends. Be sure of that. Human elements and stuff often get in the way of God's best that's why we have to work at it. I just hope and pray you both get another stab at it. I am sure it will be better than before if there is sincerity on both sides.

[Forever]

First, I am so glad that you are doing so many things around the house as well as outside of it...keeping yourself busy and even forcing yourself to do things even with half a heart into it. Severe depression settles in when the "waters" become stagnant, so you must keep them flowing. Your biggest danger to yourself and to your sons is to stop living...shutting down and getting ill.

Second, Jesus did not die on the cross for nothing. We often make messes of our lives, of others lives, and are just downright ignorant on many different levels about the impact that our words or behavior have on those closest to us. But He is there to correct us and to forgive us so we can move forward without excessive self recrimination.

Try to remember the facts instead of the "what ifs" and the hindsight regrets. You were not the only one in this marriage responsible for keeping it at optimal health were you? When you are married to a spouse who chooses to barely communicate about the inner workings of his own heart and mind, it is impossible to "get it right". This is how my ex husband was. My new husband is nothing like him, so I am always certain with where I "stand" with him...which means I can easily see where I need to make adjustments...but I cannot read minds.

So your husband pushed you away several times in the beginning. That would have happened even if it had been some other woman he was seeing after his divorce no? It was not "you" so much as his own emotional state of being. He is a "runner". Runners prefer to run rather than to dig deeper into themselves to get down to the grit of what ails them so they can resolve issues to their satisfaction. This means that everyhing that bothers them is seen as someone's elses fault.

Look at how much you are bashing yourself, and how little you hold your husband responsible for. Do you suppose that he is doing any of that...seeing how his own neglect and excessive self pity has affected the marriage? I doubt it.

Perhaps your letter, if he read the entire thing, will lend itself to at least allowing him to uderstand how YOU felt from the perspective of being on "the other end" of his chosen life style...and how your sons could feel too. If not, then he is a very selfish man....perhaps not to others, but certainly in his own home.

How can this be possible? Well, I can tell you first hand that a man can be very giving and loving towards those he wishes to impress, while at home be very much self centered and feeling "entitled". In my home, my husband does not lift a finger. My youngest (21) is my right hand man. My husband will do anything for anyone, but not here. I do not complain, it would do no good as I have already experienced...but there you have it. There is no justification for so much neglect, and so I am not going to berate myself when things do not get done to his liking. If one day my husband got angry and left because he felt "unappreciated" and disregarded...I would laugh...sorry, but I would. He has caused us to not be able to rely on him one nit for a single thing on the home front, so that would be his own guilt...not ours.

That is just an example of how we "get it wrong"...why so much can be distorted in another's mind. That is why we should not take the entire "blame" for everything when there are other obvious factors at work.

[WishfulThinking]

Originally Posted by Raymond

God works with us as we are and forgives when we need it if we repent. If we walk in the light the blood of Christ cleanses us from all sin. Too much introspection is not helpful as we nearly always don't see things clearly. We have to ask God to search us with His Holy Spirit to see if there is anything blocking His favour, but this is always progressive. He doesn't deal with everything in one go. He is gentle and touches those things we can do something about. The enemy will niggle at us about things that we cannot change now but that is not God's way.

It is good that you see where you might have gone wrong. I assume you have conveyed this to your husband. That is all you can do. The ball is in his court. He could have talked and worked it out instead of just leaving but maybe that is his weakness. He reacts with feelings instead of getting to the root of things.

It is not God's will that this marriage ends. Be sure of that. Human elements and stuff often get in the way of God's best that's why we have to work at it. I just hope and pray you both get another stab at it. I am sure it will be better than before if there is sincerity on both sides.

Thank you for those words Raymond. They really do help, especially the ones I have emboldened.

I did convey some of this to my husband after our 'Anniversry' showdown. I'm not sure he was ready to listen and accept at that stage, probably thought it was purely emotion coming into play rather than reasoned thought. He may also now believe that I no longer think like this after I've come to think he may have had an affair and so on. Maybe it's time for another..much shorter letter....I'm not sure.

Originally Posted by Forever

Second, Jesus did not die on the cross for nothing. We often make messes of our lives, of others lives, and are just downright ignorant on many different levels about the impact that our words or behavior have on those closest to us. But He is there to correct us and to forgive us so we can move forward without excessive self recrimination.

Try to remember the facts instead of the "what ifs" and the hindsight regrets. You were not the only one in this marriage responsible for keeping it at optimal health were you? When you are married to a spouse who chooses to barely communicate about the inner workings of his own heart and mind, it is impossible to "get it right". This is how my ex husband was. My new husband is nothing like him, so I am always certain with where I "stand" with him...which means I can easily see where I need to make adjustments...but I canmot read minds.

So your husband pushed you away several times in the beginning. That would have happened even if it had been some other woman he was seeing after his divorce no? It was not "you" so much as his own emotional state of being. He is a "runner". Runners prefer to run rather than to dig deeper into themselves to get down to the grit of what ails them so they can resolve issues to their satisfaction. This means that everyhing that bothers them is seen as someone's elses fault.

Look at how much you are bashing yourself, and how little you hold your husband responsible for. Do you suppose that he is doing any of that...seeing how his own neglect and excessive self pity has affected the marriage? I doubt it.

Perhaps your letter, if he read the entire thing, will lend itself to at least allowing him to uderstand how YOU felt from the perspective of being on "the other end" of his chosen life style...and how your sons could feel too. If not, then he is a very selfish man....perhaps not to others, but certainly in his own home.

How can this be possible? Well, I can tell you first hand that a man can be very giving and loving towards those he wishes to impress, while at home be very much self centered and feeling "entitled". In my home, my husband does not lift a finger. My youngest (21) is my right hand man. My husband will do anything for anyone, but not here. I do not complain, it would do no good as I have already experienced...but there you have it. There is no justification for so much neglect, and so I am not going to berate myself when things do not get done to his liking. If one day my husband got angry and left because he felt "unappreciated" and disregarded...I would laugh...sorry, but I would. He has caused us to not be able to rely on him one nit for a single thing on the home front, so that would be his own guilt...not ours.

That is just an example of how we "get it wrong"...why so much can be distorted in another's mind. That is why we should not take the entire "blame" for everything when there are other obvious factors at work.

Thank you Forever, as I said, I was feeling particularly guilty about how I was responsible for any effect all of this has had on my sons, but I will have to try, over time, to redress my part in this and work with them if the opportunity arises, with their relationship with their Father.


Yesterday as I said, I believed he had definitely had an affair. This troubled me deeply because I felt that was a big obstacle to me ever taking him back, the rest could be forgiven but I felt this was a real betrayal. I felt that I wouldn't be able to trust him again, that if and when he ever touched me I would reject him because the memories of the OW would be too painful.

To-day I feel surprisingly calm. It has come to me that yes, he needs to take full responsibilty for his own actions, his lack of communication and anything else he may or may not have done, but I can now forgive all of this as I too feel as though I share some of the responsibilty for everything that has happened. We have done this together. I am not so much regretting my actions and behaviour (although of course I do) but trying to see them for what they were and the part they played. If we get a second chance they are there to be learned from and therefore not repeated. Does that make any sense?

[Forever]

Oh yes, it makes perfect sense. We learn and try not to repeat "history". You must allow your husband to repair the breach between he and his sons though...this is not your doing, and your sons are old enough to hold him to account. Making things so much easier for him by appealing to your sons teaches him nothing about where he may have failed them...let them convey that to him if they want to...and let him figure out what the best approach should be for that repair...you have enough on your plate.

I would like to address your fears that perhaps your husband does not think that his departure is affecting you? Well, what shall you do? Scream, cry, cut your wrists? Shall you go into a tailspin of depression to give him a big show?...And what do you think the result would be for that? That he will come rushing home to comfort you and tell you he is sorry? Hahaha! Not happening. He KNOWS you love him, but is not impressed...simply because he feels nothing.

If you did any of the above, he would feel pity at best...and contempt for your "weakness" at worst. I know. I took an overdose of strong medication a year after my first husband left. He was called by the emergency ward and told...all he had to say was "that's her choice" and hung up the phone...what a fool I was thinking that my temporary insanity and grief could possibly help matters. And I had four children ranging from ages 18 to 1 years old that I forgot about! OMG, if I had succeeded in killing myself for the likes of him, my children would have been raised by a man who has a heart made totally of stone! A Narcissist at its finest.

You also appear to be worried that because of your own failures, that you must make straight the way for him to come back...sort of rolling out the "Red Carpet". Well, that wont work either. If he did come back without first seeing his own failures in the marriage and between his sons and he, then you would ALL be walking on egg shells from that day forward. This also happened to me in my first marriage.

I managed to grovel and lure him back with various "concessions". I took the blame for things I never did wrong. He came back for a couple of weeks...all the while we were afraid to say or do anything "normal" around him. He then said one day that he did not like me going to church...this was only once a week. He said that I needed to choose between him and God! I asked him if he were able to get me or our children into Heaven? He said nothing. Then I said "you have your answer". I left for church, and when we got back he was gone forever. I never knew what was eating away at him for years...how my relationship with God could have possibly be seen as some kind of competition since my ex was always the benefactor of it in ways that most men are not.

So rolling out the red carpet w/o your husband's humble admission of his own guilt does not work either.

[WishfulThinking]

Thank you Forever. Yes, you are right I think, he must make peace with the boys in his own way. I, for my part, must just make sure I don't do or say any more to turn them against him.

I may be slightly guilty of rolling out the red carpet for him though....but we'll see. Mind you, I will expect a full admission of guilt and true repentance on his part too.

Another phone call this evening. He was offering to take youngest to the Boxing day match with him. I was right, he didn't know about the extra ticket. When I told him he said, oh, then maybe he could bring a friend with him too. Youngest was out, so I'll have to pass that message on later.

Some interesting comments arose from the reasonably brief conversation that followed.
Anyway, I took the opportunity to say a little to him, not much, but still. I told him I wanted him to be sure that there was nothing that had happened that couldn't be sorted, and I repeated and I mean nothing. He told me that had given him great hope.

He then said, I know I must get myself out of this somehow. You know me, act in haste and repent at leisure, and then he said don't be surprised if one day I turn up on the doorstep. I told him the door was always open to him, that everything had hit me with great clarity this morning..he then said that was because it was Sunday. I told him that the forgiveness was already there as I took full responsibility for my part in all of this too.

I asked him what it was he needed to get out of, he said the situation I've found myself in now. I asked what that was but he didn't say, just seemed to waffle on, told me he was a big boy and he'd have to just get on with it. Towards the end he did say something else interesting and that was 'I am in peril of my immortal soul, I do know that'. So, either something had happened before he left (likely it seems as suspected by many) or alternatively, once he moved in, she assumed she'd 'got him' if you like and made her move. Either way, it's obviously not what he thought it would be and finds he needs to extricate himself. I doubt he'd have felt in peril of his immortal soul simply because he had left his wife and family and was innocent of everything else. As you all have said, time will tell and maybe I will know soon.

He should be paid on Tuesday so I suppose that will give him some funds to move out and find a room if he needs to. In the meantime I can take some hope from this that we can perhaps sort something out. There is always the chance he won't want either of us though, but we'll see.

I think too you were right Forever. Judging by this conversation, when he does go, it does sound like he will never want to see her again and cut off all ties. Maybe he has a problem cutting off the ties with the son too, I don't know, that's something else he'll have to think about.


Hmmm...just wondering now if my letter had anything to do with triggering this, or if it had already started. I suspect the truth will unfold in time.

[Forever]

This is WONDERFUL to hear!!! Ah, WT, you acted with the utmost in Class! I am so proud of you! Whatever he has to say about the OW, you will still need to brace yourself...keeping in mind that the devil is always looking for ways to destroy relationships rather than giving grace for repentance.

If she made a "move" (as is typical of women such as her)...he may have had quite an awakening. If he had done things or even said with her that he needs to disclose, he will need to do that out of respect towards you as his wife.

He will need to remove himself from that relationship even if everything was innocent...otherwise include you in it totally and never separately again. These are things that must be sorted to your satisfaction...otherwise you will not be able to trust him and will start questioning his every coming and going.

[WishfulThinking]

Oh Forever, I must admit for the first time in months I actually feel happy tonight.

Up until this morning I was in turmoil over this "affair". As I said though, the need to forgive and learn from this experience hit me this morning. Until then I didn't think I could do it. I now think I can. Oh, I know, people will think me a wimp and a doormat for wanting to take him back after this, but hopefully he has a lot to learn from this too and our relationship could be better than ever. If he were ever to stray again though, I would know that he really isn't able to stay faithful and it really would be the end. I am hopeful though that he has learned his lesson from this.

Brace myself, yes. I do think though that I have probably worked out just about everything. There may be more of the same but that is to be expected. It has gone on, to some extent or other, for a long time. The thing I really need to brace myself about is the physical aspect. I need to expect the worst, but do hold out some hope that the ED scuppered this. I won't hold my breath though as I know there are ways and means if he was willing to confess this to her..or maybe he used the excuse he was a married man to avoid having to tell her and not take things too far? That of course wouldn't really wash though after he left me, especially as he did so with so much anger towards us all.

He still hasn't mentionned the letter...so of course hasn't denied any of the contents either.
Neither has he said anything about how he feels about me now either, but of course he did say the other day that he'd got it so wrong, and also talked about turning up on the doorstep tonight. If he didn't want me either maybe he wouldn't have said so much and just talked about getting his own place instead?

We'll now have to see how long it takes him to leave. Maybe he even feels guilty as they took him in and have housed him for a month? I just don't know. I must admit though I'm now hoping he'll come home by Christmas. Haha..I'll now be waiting every day for the door to open. I just hope my expectations from all of this aren't misplaced.